Neverending Story [Game]

[AGAG]

Gave the drugvase to the men so everyone could be sane. Without pain. And Hubble could achieve fame, even if he had a cane, at least something he would gain, such that he would not fade in the lame pass of the decádes, "this will not fail", he said, and so they came and they even named a lake with his lastname ..."

So they injected the drug to every child, dog and rapist in finland in order to eliminate the shrewchlamydia virus that was at large until now. It seemed to work for some days. Butt there was something wrong with the drug as the president and the police chief soon noticed. Mr Hubble had a big plan for mankind and he planted this gene modifying substance that made everyone proficient musicians and artists.. butt he never did sort out some side effects, so besides everyone becoming artists, everyone also became gay and there was huge gay pride parades in the most remote towns of finland. Every little guy and girl in finland were suddenly inflamed with sexual lust towards the same sex. Both sexes lost total interest in each other.. Sometimes they catched little children fucking in the kindergartens while listening to bach. Or maybe two kids would recite poems while engaged in the most wild sexual act that involved dogs and finnish ducks. And as a consecuence, there was a lot of happiness in finland.

"HA! I have succeded" said Mr Hubble "Now I have created a new generation of gaypoets and cellists that will lead this planet to brighter heights!, no more shit music in my ears when I walk in helsinki! no!..."

The plan seemed to work for some months, there was even public fucking contests in every town, which were held every week with the coolest jazz jams as background music. Butt something was wrong. Since there was no guy interested in girls any longer, both genders became recluded and created discriminatory circles. There were "Girl only" music academies and parks throughout finland and also "Guys only" bars and orgy schools. The whole race was at stake and in a few years, the finnish towns will cease to exist since they wouldn't have any healthy kids. So Mr Hubble created a new drug, with which girls...

[ÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖ]

I love your poetic language...butt here comes reality...

were made pregnant by some back-turned sort of vacumcleaner and guess who was the father of all the children. Yes, yes! Papa ÖHubble, without big trubble. He happened to impregnate allmost all femals in the remotest places. His back-vacumcleaners became a greatgreat success and Finland grew to be the biggest sperm-back-vacum-clean-manufacturer in the world. China tried to compete but who wants more Chineses?
So Finland, Nokia and ÖHubble were biggest in the world. ÖHubble ended his calculating and got an own clinic, where he filled container after container with fertilizing fluid. He was treated like a bee-queen and served a special diet with all vitamins, minerals, the right fat in organic solvents and a combination of amino acids. In short a perfect Nokiamix for perfect foetuses.
And 9 months (Houiduck with ricestripes) later the deliveries began. And hiho, all the children were genious, absolute genious. And they grew fast. All had thin lips, potbelllied stomachs and grey halflong hair.
Oh that was a sight! The kindergartens and schools were soon full of those talented ÖHubbleoffsprings and they were a fact and nothing any poet could mistake for a rem-dream. Nono, they were there to stay.
Butt, butt, there is a problem and that is something for some poetic poet to solve...

[AGAG]

Butt butt... we need poetry, just a bit

the poetic problem was this: Mr Hubble was treated as a beequeen, yes: he got tickled by little dancing sunflowers in the gluteus area every morning, stimulating his milking apparatus, so he would deposit his fluids on this plastic containers to be shipped by Mr nokia throughout the most remote places in finland, so little girls could impregnate themselves with this special Christmas season penis-shaped package, for 12 years old and younger. The problem: Mr Hubble became sedentary since he didn't calculate anymore, he didn't even move from his rocking chair all day long, all he did was grump and play his chromatic armonica he had gotten as a gift from the Nokia bussiness boss.. he received all the food he ever wanted so he started growing in the wrong direction. He eventually became so big, not even a hundred may sunflowers with the wildest of dances could get his fluids out, he became stimulus free. The nokia men became paranoid "Oh, mighty raisins! How can this be? Mr Hubble is so big, too big for our minions.. we'll have to try the flower pinion.." And so they did. They brought this swedish flower machine that had thousands of flowers assembled in a big grinding gear. It had everything: Broom-rapes, Acacias, Honeysuckles, Violets, Indian canes, Wind waterflowers, Milkviolets, Jamaican plums, salvadoreanshitwhortleberries, Daltonsuns, Ivies, Zephyranthes, Nietzschetouch-me-nots and even an orquid. It seemed enormous, ready to dance fiercely. They began and started to rub Hubble's tummy with the most gargantuan ballet, tickling him up to the spine. "Haha! Ha! This swedish people! Ha! They sure know how to tickle a man! hahaha! Stop it! not so... ha! OH! please! haha!.. swedish! ha!... HAAAA!" And mr Hubble couldn't stop laughing, he almost seemed unable to breath at some given time intervals. The nokia men didn't worry at all. "It is normal, completely normal, a normal quarrel we must have so all the magicfluid can be formally withdrawn. We're not mad, leave the lad, he ain't looking sad.." And so Mr Hubble remained laughing while this monstruous orchestra performed around the sphincter, then it appeared that the climax was at hand. "Oh please! haha..! I can't take this! You swedish... swedish flowers! get out of my anus now! haha!..."

And then it happened... Mr Hubble couldn't retain all this fluids any longer with this violent stimulation.. so he released them all in a violent white liquid burst. All the flowers died drowned inmediatly and the little finnish house where he was resting succumbed to the thousands of gallons that came out like an erupting volcano right out of Mr Hubble's milking apparatus.. The little finnish town where Nokiamen kept Hubble hidden was also in ruins, an almost 2 meters tall wave of white fluids leveled the structures and poisoned the local rivers. The fish became sugar loafs and were no longer edible for humans. Nokia was ruined. There was absolutely no way for the spermtrade business to continue. "Now everyone can bathe in these rivers and get pregnant with no need for plastic penis shaped receptacles!! We are RUINED!! We will now have to start manufacturing cellphones.. Shitty cellphones! All day long!" And so Mr Nokia started crying.

Mr Hubble floated in a white river for weeks until all the fluids dried out. The violent currents carried him from Kuopio to Espoo and almost threw him out to the ocean. In the last minute, however, he could grab a salvadorean palm tree and remain safe in solid land... "What the hell happened? That was the most pleasant sensation I have ever felt in my life... those flowers can dance!. Butt now I must return home.. somehow.. Butt butt, What is this on the sand? Is this a shrew?... A blondeshrew?" Indeed, a blondeshrew was lying half dead in a small pond of coagulated white fluids near the coast, it's nose was dripping and it was couffing tiresomely, with the eyes half opened.. "Cof cof!" it said... "Cof! what the fuck!?... cof! cof! I mount on a plane for a minute and then I'm being monstruosly tackled by a wall of semen?!?... cof! Shitshit!" Mr hubble came to the rescue.. "What do we have here! a badmouthed cute blondeshrew! Let's clean that wrinkly nose of yours... you remind me of someone. Couldn't you possibly be..

[Hubble86]

And what do I read here? What is this for galloping madness? You make me some lunatic? Huh! A fertilizing-fluid-back-vacuum-cleaner-constructor. What on Earth IS that? I am a calculator and mobilmaker and nothing else!

This has to stop! My good name is in jeopardy. I will confiscate your computer dear daughter. This has gone to far. You have roomarrest for two weeks and no computer under that time. CAPISCE!

Go by all means on with your neverending story here BUTT leave me out of it. Have this gone into your thick woodskulls now?

[AGAG]

What is this?! I made you finland's semen-hero and you're this ungrateful?? At least you could contribute with your cellphone experiences... See how my anger level increases?...

[Hubble86]

:pissed2: :pissed2: :pissed3: :pissed3: :pissed2: :pissed5: :pissed5: :pissed4: :pissed4: :uzi: :uzi: :repuke: :owned1: :owned1: Just a fraction of my outstanding, unresolved ANGER.

[Ozzy Osbourne]

you must be angry listen to my music assholes!

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[Hubble86]

Ah you don't remember me. Haha.
There is a hole in your bucket, dear John, dear John. Remember now? We sang that together in Birmingham and Sharon was furious. She insisted there was no hole, but you and I KNOW there was a leak. haha. In your bucket! Ha ha. It was in some garage there and I sat in, in your band a couple of times since your gitarrist was not so well. Haha. Don't remember his name. Was it Paul something?
Those were the days!!! Crazy trains...Fun that you write here on Stratoforum. Nice band Strato...

[Karlheinz Stockhausen]

And who können this strange person Osso be? Strangest music Ich ever heard. Achach so Dumm, so dumm.. Unbegrieplich dumm...

[Karlheinz Stockhausen]

Noone answers hier. Noone know this person? Why is he here on every thread then? It is like singing in an empty room here. Hallooo....Can that person Ossi come in and tell me why he makes so very, very strange music. Danke!

[Frederic Chopin]

Don't listen to that guy! He will chew out your head. Do yourself a favor and stop with the helicopters

[AGAG]

and then the mighty warriors of light came in the form of johnny, the wolfraper.. Come on! This is a story.. You guys can do better than this

[ÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖ]

Oh, it is me-guys you mean? Butt, my father , you know...Butt what the heck...

Where was we? Jaja, someone sat on the beach in Salvador and thought about his ungrateful daughter. Hadn't he done everything for her and how did she thank him? Hadn't he fought out an ugly, chinese- walkytalky humanoid machine and pumped him for informations, that helped Nokia. Had uncountable combats with a goatalienfarmer and smelled from his goats for weeks. Had at least ten wordfights with the impertinent bigassed A10 and made him a ghost in some guys arse. And they were not the first. Hadn't he during all that obstinate girls youth struggled for her virginhood. Yes he HAD and now it was enough! He should go and knock down that snotty poet too and that had to be his last effort. From now on he would sit in his rocking chair and listen to Coltrane.
With that he went to the poet and in the same moment the gay opened his door, he got a fat punch on his nose.
"Ha", said the Calculator, (No Names)" There you got for your dograpes. And this one" , He striked again, "Is for your sugared poettalk with my daughter. Good bye to you and have a nice day"...
He banged the door and the nosebleeding poet started to sing in a nasal way.

I got punched today,

Like a kiss from a gnatgnatfly,

Oh if he with me would stay,

And not go so far away,

I am sure I am going to be gay,

When I think about how he may,

Be when he is not astray,

Oh Calculator, oh Calculatorey,

Can't you calcule with me and stay,

And Staaayyy.

The calculator womited and rushed to the airport. "First flight to Finland", he screamed. "I can't stay here where old men risk to be raped by mad poets, who can't see the difference from streetdogs.
The personel answered, "Yes sire, we understand that you have got the dograper after you, come in here and we will help you".
And they took him to a safe room. But, butt there...

[AGAG]

there was a little dog hidden beneath a golden couch where mr Hubble had to sit. It was a cute little cocker spaniel with brown ears and golden fur so it could remain hidden beneath the golden couch if it didn't move at all. And it was also a female so that helped a lot with her patience, she remained calm and silent with the thought of all the cute male dogs she had seen in her life while walking on the parks or the streets, maybe streetdogs with poor hygiene or severe mental illnesses; when mr Hubble came in, she was thinking in the terrier that barely fucked her while on the beach, when no one was looking, and then they did notice and then they threw chairs at the poor male dog to interrupt the morbid experience.. yes, thoughts while not moving underneath the golden pillows, and her outlook on life was that of a moth that remains on the elbow of a man while he sleeps. She came out placidly, letting her golden earfur shimmer in the small room with just one window. Almost pretentiously. But that was just her way of walking. When she did talk, mr Hubble had to frown at the dim tone of her voice, almost like a waterbottle ballad.

"You see sir... I've noticed you don't have the least interest in dogs from what I've heard, no matter how thin your lips are; and although I do respect your idiosincrasy and your crazy thoughts and the fact that you have the most cathartic experiences while listening to this John Coltrane guy, I have been informed that you have physically hurt one of my dear friends which is from this grubby, murky salvadorean place. This for no reason at all!. Seemingly because you get some sort of enjoyment in the weariness that's left after kicking and punching everyone that seems to get the least involved with your daughter, and therefore I would assume.."

"Butt butt! You're talking now?" Mr Hubble interrupted, clearly appalled "Now dogs talk! huh! What a shit! This must be my medication, that fucking proctologist... not even one can het the job done! damn all of them! and and! How do you know this all by the way?... and and why on earth would it concern you so badly for you to be actually waiting for me in a vegetal state beneath this golden couch of this shitty airport?.. are you.. are you mad?" he said, getting a metal rod up in the air, trembling ready to hit the poor dog mercilessly.

The now stretch-faced cocker spaniel took his downpaws down and lied on the little table in front of mr Hubble.. continuing his exposition: "My mental condition is the least of your concerns now, I would suggest that you listen to me with attention if you're even remotely thinking of hitting me repeatedly with that metal cane there.. I have seven hounds outside and you better wait until you try something funny, Johnnyhounds that is... Well. It seems that you took your so called daughter love to the most zealous expression which include punches and nose bleeding from my shitpoet friend. Before you interrupted me, I was actually eager to suggest, if you're THAT concerned about your lovely daughter, to use one of this chastity belts to chain her to a bed base and only throw food at her twice a day, so she doesn't get this harmful conversations with bottle poets, hircine alienmen and, of course, chinese visitors... these, known to be the most wretched, woeful of them all. The reason why I have took the time to wait for you here and have this long dialogue is the following: Haemorraging and with blood oozing from his nostrils, he came to me in distress and dread, actually wanting me to get him a tissue for the bleeding to stop. I know, I know how that sounds... he used to be gay and I think he was on female hormones in the past, so give him a break.. But.. then he came to me and we had this conversation.. we talked about everything that happened and how he didn't understand it at all.. and of course I now just ask you politely to apologize to him, so he can sleep well at nights. He thinks he has done something terribly wrong and he gets all upset about this things.. If not, there are hounds outside."

Of course, Mr Hubble wasn't listening to all this. He just frowned in disagreement taking the metal rod up and hitting the poor female dog in his cute little right downpaw as soon as she stopped talking.

"VOF VOF VOF! WHAT THE FUCK!? WUF WUF..WUUU WUUU.." she screamed in pain, alerting the seven johnnyhounds that were guarding outside. The seven of them breached in violently and...

[ÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖ]

You were in a poetic nightmood, butt not especially sugary..

Do you believe it ot not, butt the seven scabdogs fell on their arthritis kneecaps, in front of the bewildered calculator and started to yuyl a honoursong. It sounded like this...

De la paz en la dicha suprema,

Siempre noble sono el calculatore,

Fue obstenerla su eterno problema,

Conservarla es su gloria mayor,

Calculatore, calculatore,

Vovvovylvovyl vofffevoffevofs



Butt since it was in their strange Salvatorian-doglanguage the calculator didn't understand a word except "problema" and he interpreted it incorrectly. So he kicked the nearest most yelping scab.
"And what in the Salvatorian dogheaven are you yyling about", He was angry, "Out, out this is a safe room and dogs are forbidden here. This little cocker can stay. She talkes at least english even if she has a terrible cockneyaccent, so her I will put in my bag and take home.
"No,no", said the little cocker. "I will stay with the bleeding and singing poet".
"Can that be some fun in that", The calculator was astonished. "Follow me and you will have a nice doglife. You can listen to the best of jazz in the world, Coltrane and Getz, I have in fact played with them. And you can meet real wolfs in real snowstorms. Both wild and brutal.
"Butt, butt, don't they bite? The wolfs?
"Bite? Of course they bite. That is all they do all day long. They bite and bite till their teeth fall out".
"Butt, butt, I don't want to be a wolf-snack.
"No problem. I will boot them with my Finnish steelboots and after that they will probably never bite again.
"Vof,vof! I will leave the bleeding, snuffeling and sniveling poet and be your little cockerjazzgroupie in Finland. Vov vof".
And away they went. Butt in Salvador sat the still nosebleeding and sniffing but no-singing poet and he planned a dreadful revenge. Poor that calculator when ...

[AGAG]

he finally arrived to the great country of finland. The salvadorean poet, with the help of every finnish streetdog he could find, had set up every radio station in helsinki to play the salvadorean shitanthem when mr Hubble was taking his morning walk, at full volume, in all the radio stations. Mr Hubble was in a local park, relaxing from his flight, reading some sibelius philosopher in a bench, then every car that stood around the park magnified that horrible song. As soon as it started, mr Hubble started throwing up violently. "What now? What is this shit?! Someone! please make it stop!! MY EARS!" Mr Hubble was shivering in the floor in no time. The salvadorean guy, saw him in the floor in the distance and he felt a strange sensation in his chest. "I should be laughing at the man who punched me in the face the other day... what is happening with me? well I guess no one really deserves to listen this kind of thing... specially at this volume... I have to help him" He ran alongside a pack of finnish dogs, that were now his friends, to help mr Hubble. As soon as he arrived, the dogs started voffing in a heartful attempt to help the man who was now having some sort of seizure "Cover your ears. Here! Have some coltrane, it is ascention part II, I have some bach if you need it too.." He said, putting some earphones in mr Hubble's ears and getting him out of the park to a safe place, a coffeeshop where the salvadorean song couldn't be heard at all. Inside the coffy shop, the waiter and a blackhaired guy were making remarks of how shitty the counterpoint of the anthem was. "Juan Aberle! Ha! What a joke... You ever heard about this Juan Jose Cañas before? he surely knows how to write the most hollow verses there is! Glorious sons! ha!.. Pancho Lara on the other hand..." Then they entered. "Oh god! What can I bring you two? That man seems to be a bit dizzy from the music.. well it is understandable. Please no dogs here, they tend to make a mess" The waiter brought two big strong coffee cups with finnish coffee grains that really helped mr Hubble to regain strength after all that ear pounding. "Thank you. Who on earth would have authorized the radios put that shit on?!" Mr Hubble asked, frowning. "There are lots of things besides that, I don't really understand, they can kill people... Maamme laulu. Have you ever heard that thing? How did it go..? Oh yes: Oi mamme suomi syninmaa.. soi sana kultainenn..." And he started humming a coltrane-ish version of the song. Soon the whole coffee shop was singing along proudly and the salvadorean guy..

[Hubble86]

Thank you my dear for your kind rescue and the finnish coffee. You are a nice person after all and I regret punching you. Sorry, sorry. I haven't time for something at all now. Butt Butt, later maybe...I will give you a Coltranehug...

[ÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖ]

couldn't help singing with them, on the top of his voice. "Mammmeee, Maaammmee Suomi Deutschland, Deutschland uber Alles"...
"Wonderbar, Wonderbar", said the calculator. "You sing in German, my Junge. I did know that you are talented butt this is fantastico. Now you and I have pendulated between Salvador and Finland for weeks and someone could write a neverending story about us if we are not careful. I could give you a Coltranehug butt maybe later. Haven't I said that before, somewhere else? Jaja, whatever I must go and calculate now, so you can go home to my daughter and wait for the hug there.
So the poet went to the calculaterdaughter and who did he meet there, if not his own little dog.
"Waffvff, Waffvff", said the cocker, in Finnish, so the poet didn't understand a vof.
"What, what", he said,"Have you already forgot your native language. You are sweet butt silly".
"Vof, vof", said the cocker cautiously, "Vof vof". And then she jumped at the perplex poet and bit his earlier so punched nose.
"What, What?" he screamed." First you bark in Finnish and now you BITE like a Finnish wolf. What are the world coming to?"
"That is what my father use to say, all the time", said the daughter with one plait insted of two because she wanted to look more grown-up. "He said that he likes you and he want you to stay a while in Finland since he is tired of this travels back and fro to Salvador. What do you think about ice,snow,darkness, wolves, bears and polkas?
The poet wrinkled his earlier so bleeding nose and after a while he said."Hrmmm...

[AGAG]

well, I couldn't be more happy about coldness and wolves. Just recently I took some time off at a local beach and the heat made my brain cells go nuts. So nuts, I was actually thinking of making an enormous sandcastle with dog feces. And the tide rolled it away fast. So fast, I fell over the shitcastell, filling my ragged shoes almost entirely.. But anyways, if I have the chance to keep mr Hubble from penduling so tiresomely from el Salvador and Finnland. Sure I will. I made enough damage with that shit anthem... Besides. Teeth make meat out of any fruit, just like a god to his ants, like a bottle to his water, that evacuates in short and clustered sips.. Now that the sun brakes itself in the frondose, I could maybe wait with more patience. Outside here, It makes no difference that your heart is now my window. And that you perceived that the toys we used to wither with, hid an anther that explodes.. at nights, in a wooden toyset, and it is... " At this point, the rollingeyes-annoyed dog interrupted the now empty stared shitpoet and she bit him one more time, harder, in the former-bleedingnose. "What what?! What now?... WHAT?" The dog frowned and answered: "No more shit verses. Not until you arrive to finland.. let's keep it quiet now.. please, it's a long flight. Don't make me go for a testicle"..

He did, of course, remain silent throghout the flight with the dog and the finnish daughter. Just every now and then he would laugh at random things he saw, like the 14 years old that was sitting in the front line, who was having this strange finnish flirt conversation with a seemingly younger girl, who had beautiful toy-eyes. Or also this strange yet interesting looking long-haired man that was reading a poem thoroughly. He seemed really familiar and that made the salvadorean guy laugh for some reason. The flight attendant was artificially cheery and there was hate in her eyes. There was also this old couple which were holding hands as if they were children. All of this made the salvadorean snicker playfully. Sometimes he would rock his head back and forth like a mentally disabled person, just because it was fun for him and because the dog had already fallen asleep..

Everything was as normal as it could be. But when the shit plane entered finnish airspace, there was a huge turbulence and a big flash came in through the plane windows that made everyone fall unconscious for a while. It seemed like forever. They all woke up in a very very white room with some perennial fluorescent lights that were annoying yet white.

"Where's my poem?!" Said the long-black haired man
"I'll hold you tight! Don't worry about a thing" Said the shivering 14 years old, embracing the toy-eyed girl.
"What the fuck is this shit..? Mon dieu! mangeons d'la merde tous! TOUS!..." said the flight attendant, which for some reason, appeared french now.
The old couple remained silent in a corner, really closely.
The salvadorean and the finnish one-plaited girl also remained silent because they had no clue.
The dog was voffing some random things "Vorfkele! VOFKELE!..."

Then this voice was heard through a speaker. "Well! Hello everybody! Let me introduce myself. This is Nurmi speaking.. Pekka nurmi.. and of course I would like to...

[ÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖ]

Nurmi? Again?

"Oh dear, oh dear!" said the girl with one plait. She uses that phrase, when she is confused. "Oh dear, not that fucking Pekka. Again! I thought he was out of my life several pages ago."
"Jaja" said Pekka with a nasty smile," We meet again, I tell you where, I tell you when, and I can see that you are together with your favoritepoet from Salvador. With you in my power I will soon have your calculating father in my net. Haha! I need his brain and you are my bait." With that he dragged them to his car and throw them in.
The poet tried to be brave. "I am a Salvadorian citizen and you have no right to kidnap me and my onebraided friend. You must let us go. OR I will make minced tripe of you!
"Hahahohohihi", laughed Pekka. "It was you that took me into this story again and now you have to pay". With that he drove into the big darkness and a snowstorm, towards the russian border.
Butt he used summertyres and the snow was slippery and he got caught in a big snowdrift.
"Fucking snow, said Pekka, "We have to walk." And walk they did. Eight(Ordinary fried chicken with peastew) kilometers with a dozen wolves singing closer and closer. At last they were at the farm.
"Feel at home", said Pekka, "The conditíons for you young lady are the same as the last wonderful time you were here".
"Oh dear", said the girl to the poet, "What shall we do?"
"I call your father", said the unrealistic poet.
"Butt, butt",the girl again." That is just what the Fucking want. This is a trap, he will use my father and pay us back for what we did to the ugly Chinese. I don't think you understand how ruthless he can be. He is an alienalien. Some sort of boss and he doesn't hesitate to torture us if he wants."
"Huh", said the now rather pale poet," I want to go home. All this snow are going on my poetic mind and my summershoes. Can we escape"?
"Jaja",said the practical girl. "Butt first we have to steal some of Pekkas snowboots and wolffurs".
So they did and as two Pekkas they sneaked away. Pekka that thougt it was himself that was out for a walk, said nothing. So hand in hand the two fucking Nurmis went out in the whipping blizzard. Butt, butt there...

[AGAG]

there was a big wolffie waiting for them, for whatever reason, just a couple of trees away from the ranch. He introduced himself politely: "Hello two adventurers! I was sent by mr Hubble. The name is Coffee, I am the coffeewolffie and it seems that your story is in need of another brown animal. Quick! Hop in and I will glide you two to the land of dreams where mr Hubble is living currently" The one plaited girl was now confused and exclaimed "Oh dear, oh dear!... not again!" The big coffewolffie puffed, snorted and gasped at the same time.. "Cof! Yes indeed!. He was experimenting with hydroxils one more and he wants you two to join him! Hurry before pekka makes you two absorb things rectally.. look! there he comes!" At the very moment, pekka was coming out of the ranch with this metal rods in his hands, waving them vigorously. "NO! not my wolffurs! NO! I've kidnapped you two, you aren't supposed to be hopping in wolffies yet! be nice guests for god's sake.. at least wait until we go through the metalrod anus ritual!"

"NONO! this is not a visit.. I'll go to dreamland, off we go, off we go.." said the girl with a now disheveled plait, hopping on the wolf. The salvadorean was reluctant and tried to convince the girl "Butt! we are guests, let us not be rude.. What about one rod? just ONE" The coffewolffie now burped, sighed and took a small shit without anyone noticing. The girl would not give in, "NO! Hop in or we'll leave you with that torturing scoundrel!" she said from up the wolffie "Ok... I'll be rude just this one time " Said the sad salvadoran who was looking forward to the famous finnish rods he had heard about all the time. He mounted in and they flew away from the screaming pekka who chased them until they faded in the distance. It was dusk and there was this icy feeling all over the place. Pekka remained alone with his rods and his animals, he hugged a goat afterwards, he was a bit blue and stayed at home listening to polkas with a sad stare.

In the distance, the flight was pleasant and the view of the scandinavian forests was astonishing. The wolffie exclaimed "Ha! We are just some minutes away from the main gate. But butt! there is this minor inconvenience.. it is you, salvadoran guy, who will have inmigration problems. The police is a bit strict and blatantly racist, you need to pass up as, at least, an argentinian." The salvadoran had everything covered:""Don't worry about that! I have a solution. I have this spanish ID I got from a gay guy in my, well, gay days. My skin is all white since I'm literally freezing even with this wolf furs we got. I know how to use makeup too if it is strictly necessary.." The wolffie smiled. "Excelent! now all you two need is these mushroms. Get them far inside your anus and you'll then enter into the dreamland and meet with mr Hubble. GODSPEED!" The wolffie accelerated the flight with his strong wings and handed them a bunch of finnish psylocibin brittlegill and boletus, they both...

[ÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖ]

As soon as I have acclimatized in Dreamland and the psylocibin brittlegill workes I will tell you what my father thinks about the things we experience now...

[ÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖ]

felt very elated and they danced about. The boletus had an euphoric effect, like hash and they took each others hands and laughed and laughed till they fell on the Dreamlandfloor. It was like to be in and on a cloud at the same time and they sank and sank in some heavenly feeling.
"Gosh that was a trip. It must have been pure boleteus", said the girl.
"Yes" said the wolffie,"Only the best for mr ÖHubbles guests".
"And what have we here in the boleteuscloud?", It was ÖHubble himself. "Welcome children. I can see that Coffeewolffie has rescued you from the nasty Pekka and he was and is furious. He wanted my brain for his damn calculations and I am not interested in estimating that fucking Excessas possibilities to take over the Earth without bloodshed. I don't care since I am a misanthrope and distrust humanity. Butt,butt my experiments with hydroxils have brought us here and if you want, we can stay as long as we want. What do you say?"
"Hrmm, hrmm", said the poet and looked at the girl. "What do you say? It is a nice cloud and I have nothing special to do. I don't give a shit about my exam and I have just come of age for living my own life. So why not?. Butt what shall we DO here?"
"We shall eat ( not 3,7, 14,23, 34, 48, 53 and some more),sing and be happy. Listen to jazz and even to Evans and Jarrett. We are in Dreamland you know, so we can do whatever we want!
The girl looked at the poet."Can this really be true? Or is it one of our joint rem-dreams?"
The poet was thoughtful,"Or can it be one of our longlong poemcycles? And think IF we suddenly wake up in a gray cloud full of rain and I still am in Salvador and read for my exam and you are biking around in Helsinki."
"No,no,"said the frightened girl, "Don't talk like that, please. I like to be here and...

[AGAG]

So you really want to stay in dreamland? I thought you were fond of this "reality" in things well..

have more and more boletus! The brittlegill is just a little acid for me.. What if we just stay here and overjoy at the sound of Jarrett in this vaho of joints and cigarpuffs?. Look, look! a pink Steinway model D piano is gliding down the sky with cute yellow wings just now! three fucking metres.. I'm sure it was my good father Hubble... Sure you can use this to transcribe a few solos here and there. Wouldn't that be amazing? And and, Evans too of course.. you seem to like that kind of things." The shitpoet seemed puzzled while the wolffie yawned, shrugged and snickered. "Well.. I'm not very good at transcribing at all but why not?.. Butt butt! have you thought about the other world we left behind?. I mean, wouldn't you miss your bike and your little blackmetal/polka neighbours while we both stuff ourselves with hallucinogenics in this undefined region of space?" The girl now looked a bit more freightened. After all that boletus, disheveled wouldn't be the right word for her plait. "I won't miss that at all. Maybe the bike, or the snow. Butt this is dreamland and we can have all those things, I'll ask my father to get a green mountain bike gliding down the sky right now, it will have maybe cute swan wings and a beak so I can pretend I'm riding a duck." The salvadorean saw that he couldn't lose anything at all and decided to remain in the mighty world of dreamland. The first thing he did was to demand to have a pack of dogs at his reach all the time. So he got himself seven dobermans, two siberian huskies, three cockers, six retrievers and one chihuaha. There was this river they called joy and the water was straight from norther sweden. All the trees were from zimbabwe and brazil and of course, oropendolas all over the place. The constant jazz gave the atmosphere a formal river like feeling. The girl had gotten a pile of prescription drugs ranging from Alprazolam to Lithium, Diazepam and the famous "whatnots". Also, she had this 2 meters tall pile of street diethylamide, mescaline, ketamine, mushies and a dreamed variety of hydroxils mr Hubble was experimenting with. Even the coffeewolffie had his share of experimental rushers. They were ready to spend a long time in this enviroment so she also asked mr Hubble to get another two bicycles and...

[ÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖ]

and when she got the new bike, the grand piano and everything she could think of she got SO borbored.
"Father", she said. "I have nothing to DO. Now the poet and I have cykled here among the clouds, we have played fourhanded, we have eaten all the Chinadishes we like, butt all those pills are too much. Must we eat all those pills to stay in Dreamland I will be out. I want to go home. Those white clouds make me crazy. I will go back to my friends, to stratoforum, to A10, Ro, Bo, Lauri, Beg and all the others". And with that she tossed all the pills in the nearest cloud that exploded in a hailstorm.
And she fell like in a parachute to the homestreet in Helsinki.
" Oh dear oh dear", she said. "I am home. Dreamland was not for me and I am sure that my father and the poet soon come after me. It was the dogs that made it. I think that I am allergic to dogs at least mentally and it was incompatible with the poets bigbig interest. To see him with those damn dogs every hour of the day was to much and I am not a person that will stay in someones way. So here I am again after this adventure. I have lost Dreamland butt I have won something else". (Violins and cellos here and a little drum in the background)
In Dreamland papa Hubble and the poet didn't miss the girl at all, for many days. The poet ran around with his dogs and papa Hubble was experimenting with the pills. Butt suddenly in a Coltranesolo he looked around and asked for his daughter. "No idea where she is", said the poet. "Maybe she is out cykling. Who cares here in Dreamland. If we want her back she will be here, wouldn't she?" Butt it wasn't that simple and...

[AAAAAAAAAAAA 3.0]

Then he or she (too lazy to read the whole damn story!!!) died

End of story.......Wait but this story never ends....Wait if he or she died how is it going to continue.....Oh shit.......

[AGAG]

He died yes! Out of the obscene amount of hydroxils he had stuffed himself with after the girl had left. His heart stopped and Hubble had nothing to do. Later, he found out it was all a dream. It was dreamland after all. He woke up in his salvadoran bed running REALLY late for an appointment.. So he ran and ran, thinking how he could continue his life story, and...

[Hubble86]

Dead Pfff. I think we need some order here! Some German order!

...At the same time in Helsinki Öhubble woke up at his desk at Nokia. He had taken a little nap over his calculationnumbers. "Gosh, what a dream",he thought, "And what happened to that nice guy. Did he really die, of Hydroxils? Of an overdose that I gave him? Butt I love that guy like a son I never had. Butt what am I thinking now. It was a very vivid dream, butt only a dream. Puh!"
ÖHubble called his daughter, that told him she didn't feel so well. She had had some feverdream about a land in the clouds and that she had failed both her father and her dear friend, the poet. She was very sorry over what she did.
"Sssh shhh" said her father "It was only a dream and to tell you the truth I was there too, in that Cloudland. And what is worse, it was me that gave him the Hydroxils, in an overdose so he died".
"What, what", said the girl." Did you have the same dream? Think if it was some "dream come true"? We must call him and ask if he is okey."
And they did. No answer, The girl was almost hysterical."Think if he is dead there in Salvador and it is our fault. Do something Papa, do something NOW!". And Öhubble called the poets neigbour,"Hallo, this is professor Öhubble in Helsinki and I wonder if you have seen your neighbour, the poet, today?"
"Si, si" said the neighbour, that was earlier homeless and now lived in the poets shed,"He came running here an hour ago. He had a bad dream so he was late and in a hurry."
"Thank you, thank you, said ÖHubble" And send my best to the elephant"
"Butt, butt," said the earlier homeless, "The elephant is dead and that is why I live here in the shed now, with the fucking cat".
"Oh", said ÖHubble,"So send my best to the fucking cat then".
He was happy and the girl was happy. The poet had probably had the same dream and it must be PFN that used some power to make them all sorry and worried.
"We must fight him with all strength we have, he is after me and I will never give in to that aliengangster."
"Oh, dear, oh dear," said the girl, "we must warn the poet. I think that the nasty parasites he has in his anus is something that PFN has planted there"
"What? His anus?, said Öhubble,"Tell me. What is this about his anus" And the girl...

[AGAG]

proceeded and drew a detailed diagram of the guy's anus, she was very skilled with the drawing. The parasites seemed of a dogly source and one of them looked like a ghost, but it was a pencil drawing so it had no color at all. There was also another ugly ghost there with a penis head which was very small. There was dog hair everywhere and they seemed like viruses of the malicious type. Mr Hubble was impressed "Oh! What a lovely drawing, you put so much attention to details! You should name this lovely central american paysage my dear daughter. The touch of dali... Beautiful!" The girl was flattered but she didn't got sidetracked. "Thanks! butt now.. this ghost-like parasite is the work of PFN and we must stop him. It is gathering information about his diet through the feces and he must be planning something terrible to actually be willing to put two of his minions in that horrible scenario." Then they tried international phonecalls but it was the Sisi neighbor that answered all the time. He told them he was outside at the moment and that he was acting very weird. Indeed, he had had a life changing experience. His visit to dreamland he decided to finally gave up on dogs and small pups, he finally realized the harm he was doing to the poor creatures with the daily fucking and such. He decided that he wouldn't leave the house for some months aswell, he would live hunting for rats in his home with a plastic fork and reading his melancholy poets all day long. He was actually buying provisions in a local shitmarket when Hubble called home just to get the "si, si"s from the drunk neighbour. On his way home (7 miles, because he was chasing a butterfly) he found a homeless man that seemed nice and sloven. He was smiling all the time.

"Hello dear sir" He said, with a big smile "Let's be honest with each other now. I want to have some of your plantain you have on that bag over there, it seems you're heading for a bomb shelter or something! You could spare something for your new-found friend! ha! I saw you over there trying to catch that blue butterfly, those things are rare.. But then, moving on to the plantain thing, you would most likely ask yourself "What will I get in return?", I assume you would like some kind of reward or medal... but no, what I can give you is a nice conversation. You may be freightened by my teeth, my smell and my overall appearance, but your hair tells me you're batshit crazy, or at least a bit quirky, ergo, you're a bit tolerant with smelly people... Anyways, this has turned into a monologue and you're just staring at me, what do you think of my proposal..?"

The salvadorean was staring at him indeed. He thought about his proposal, he had a lot of plantain in the bag and was up for some conversations, since he was heading for some long time anchoriteness. They both sat on a sidewalk next to the screaming buses and agitated businessman. The shitpoet gave the tastiest plantain the homeless man had ever tried in his life and so he was really happy. He told him how he actually had gotten in his condition and how hard it was to make a living without a house. "The winds are terrible if you don't have a home, you actually don't know how lucky you are. Try sleeping inside a fucking cardboard box! ha! it's not that lighty." The shitpoet had a great time and it was getting dark so he had to return home, the homeless man walked with him, all the next 5 miles (he was chasing a bee) he thought of dreamland and some other feverthoughts while he was chatting with the man, and when he got home...

[ÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖ]

he went to bed and hoped that the PFN-effect was still there and that he could go back to Dreamland and meet his friends. Maybe play fourhanded with the girl again. He was soon asleep. Butt, butt, there was no Dreamland, it was more like Hell-land and with Pekka Fucking presiding as the Devil himself. A very angry Pekka.
"Didn't I tell you to give me that damn Öhubble?. I really need him and he listens to you. If you don't obey me, I will send a bunch of Tolkkilovers up your ass. Wouldn't that be something to fight with. Those miniparasites you have now will be like a summer-breeze compared to them."
"Jaja, they are irritating enough", said the poet. Butt I refuse to betray my friend. He is a nice man and he has played with Monk.
"Ok", Pekka was furios now, "Have it your own way".
And in marched, a gang of "no names, no shames", in a forum-line and all went into the poor poets ass. Soon there was a fight between the two ghosts and the Tolkkilovers and the poet screamed so loud that he awoke himself.
"I need help" he thought, "And the only one that can help me is Öhubble, so I am going to Finland. Now!
Next day he flew to Helsinki and the girl met him and they went home to Öhubble.
"Here we need extraordinary actions and we must really make something calculated to fight the scoundrel." The poet had tears in his eyes, "He wants me to betray you both and I can't. You are dear to me and...