Fairytale

Talk about everything else besides Stratovarius here in English. Please try to put more serious topics here, and silly topics in the Spam section.
Locked
User avatar
Natas
Sr. Member
Posts:300
Joined:Tue Apr 29, 2003 6:18 pm
Location:Jevnaker, Norway
Contact:
Fairytale

Post by Natas » Tue Dec 21, 2004 9:00 pm

This is the situation: there's a beautiful princess trapped in a castle watched by a dragon. Here's the end of the story with different styles of metalheads as knights.


POWER METAL:

The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.

THRASH METAL:

The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princes and fucks her.

HEAVY METAL:

The protagonist arrives on a harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few
beers and fucks the princess.

FOLK METAL:

The protagonist arrives with some friends playing acordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls sleep (because of all the dancing). Then all leave....without the princess.

VIKING METAL:

The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe, skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals her belongings and burns the castle before leaving.

DEATH METAL:

The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and kills her, then leaves.

BLACK METAL:

The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it in front of the castle. Then he sodomises the princess, drinks her blood in a ritual before killing her. Then he impales the princess next to the dragon.

GORE METAL:

The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in front of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her. Then he fucks the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts. Then he fucks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and fucks it for the last time.

DOOM METAL:

The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess as dessert. That's the end of the sad story.

PROGRESIVE METAL:

The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The protagonist arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year of the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for the "HEAVY METAL" protagonist.

GLAM METAL:

The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance and lets him enter. He steals the princess' make-up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink color.

NU METAL:

The protagonist arrives in a run-down Honda Civic and attempts to fight the dragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire

User avatar
Twilight Legionnaire
Sr. Member
Posts:726
Joined:Sun Oct 03, 2004 11:44 pm
Location:Lisbon, Portugal

Re: Fairytale

Post by Twilight Legionnaire » Tue Dec 21, 2004 9:27 pm

LOL

Thumbs up :D
perkele

User avatar
Equinox
Sr. Member
Posts:3418
Joined:Mon Aug 23, 2004 7:26 am
Location:Denver USA

Re: Fairytale

Post by Equinox » Tue Dec 21, 2004 10:30 pm

I've already seen that on the spanish forum.....
"Insanity: A Perfect Rational Adjustment To An Insane World"

User avatar
Elazul
Sr. Member
Posts:923
Joined:Wed Aug 04, 2004 3:39 pm
Location:Germania

Re: Fairytale

Post by Elazul » Tue Dec 21, 2004 10:37 pm

Natas wrote:This is the situation: there's a beautiful princess trapped in a castle watched by a dragon. Here's the end of the story with different styles of metalheads as knights.


POWER METAL:

The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.

THRASH METAL:

The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princes and fucks her.

HEAVY METAL:

The protagonist arrives on a harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few
beers and fucks the princess.

FOLK METAL:

The protagonist arrives with some friends playing acordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls sleep (because of all the dancing). Then all leave....without the princess.

VIKING METAL:

The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe, skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals her belongings and burns the castle before leaving.

DEATH METAL:

The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and kills her, then leaves.

BLACK METAL:

The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it in front of the castle. Then he sodomises the princess, drinks her blood in a ritual before killing her. Then he impales the princess next to the dragon.

GORE METAL:

The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in front of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her. Then he fucks the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts. Then he fucks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and fucks it for the last time.

DOOM METAL:

The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess as dessert. That's the end of the sad story.

PROGRESIVE METAL:

The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The protagonist arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year of the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for the "HEAVY METAL" protagonist.

GLAM METAL:

The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance and lets him enter. He steals the princess' make-up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink color.

NU METAL:

The protagonist arrives in a run-down Honda Civic and attempts to fight the dragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire
lol Image great thing man

User avatar
So Death May Die
Member
Posts:122
Joined:Thu Dec 09, 2004 8:50 pm
Location:FL, USA
Contact:

Re: Fairytale

Post by So Death May Die » Wed Dec 22, 2004 12:03 am

:lol: , I already saw this on livejournal communities like 8568925606 times, but it's still funny... hehe

I especially like the Viking Metal one. :twisted:
Can you see the sky?
It's filtering like a murder...

User avatar
MAJINDIEGO
Sr. Member
Posts:783
Joined:Mon Jan 26, 2004 4:03 am
Location:Somewhere Out in Space
Contact:

Re: Fairytale

Post by MAJINDIEGO » Wed Dec 22, 2004 2:09 am

Elazul wrote:
Natas wrote:This is the situation: there's a beautiful princess trapped in a castle watched by a dragon. Here's the end of the story with different styles of metalheads as knights.


POWER METAL:

The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.

THRASH METAL:

The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princes and fucks her.

HEAVY METAL:

The protagonist arrives on a harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few
beers and fucks the princess.

FOLK METAL:

The protagonist arrives with some friends playing acordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls sleep (because of all the dancing). Then all leave....without the princess.

VIKING METAL:

The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe, skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals her belongings and burns the castle before leaving.

DEATH METAL:

The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and kills her, then leaves.

BLACK METAL:

The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it in front of the castle. Then he sodomises the princess, drinks her blood in a ritual before killing her. Then he impales the princess next to the dragon.

GORE METAL:

The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in front of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her. Then he fucks the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts. Then he fucks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and fucks it for the last time.

DOOM METAL:

The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess as dessert. That's the end of the sad story.

PROGRESIVE METAL:

The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The protagonist arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year of the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for the "HEAVY METAL" protagonist.

GLAM METAL:

The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance and lets him enter. He steals the princess' make-up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink color.

NU METAL:

The protagonist arrives in a run-down Honda Civic and attempts to fight the dragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire
lol Image great thing man
Doesn't it piss you off when someone quote something this big?
:P
By the grace of God Almighty,
And the pressures of the marketplace
The human race have civilized itself...
...it´s a miracle.

User avatar
HvyMtlClickWitch
Sr. Member
Posts:2215
Joined:Sat Apr 10, 2004 2:55 am
Location:Future World
Contact:

Re: Fairytale

Post by HvyMtlClickWitch » Wed Dec 22, 2004 2:49 am

MAJINDIEGO wrote:
Elazul wrote:
Natas wrote:This is the situation: there's a beautiful princess trapped in a castle watched by a dragon. Here's the end of the story with different styles of metalheads as knights.


POWER METAL:

The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.

THRASH METAL:

The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princes and fucks her.

HEAVY METAL:

The protagonist arrives on a harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few
beers and fucks the princess.

FOLK METAL:

The protagonist arrives with some friends playing acordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls sleep (because of all the dancing). Then all leave....without the princess.

VIKING METAL:

The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe, skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals her belongings and burns the castle before leaving.

DEATH METAL:

The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and kills her, then leaves.

BLACK METAL:

The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it in front of the castle. Then he sodomises the princess, drinks her blood in a ritual before killing her. Then he impales the princess next to the dragon.

GORE METAL:

The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in front of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her. Then he fucks the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts. Then he fucks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and fucks it for the last time.

DOOM METAL:

The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess as dessert. That's the end of the sad story.

PROGRESIVE METAL:

The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The protagonist arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year of the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for the "HEAVY METAL" protagonist.

GLAM METAL:

The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance and lets him enter. He steals the princess' make-up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink color.

NU METAL:

The protagonist arrives in a run-down Honda Civic and attempts to fight the dragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire
lol Image great thing man
Doesn't it piss you off when someone quote something this big?
:P
Yes. :lol:

That's the funniest thing i've read in a long time. I can't believe i've never seen it before, i think i'm the only one who hasn't.
Let no man surrender so long as he is unwounded and can fight.

User avatar
browneyedgirl
Sr. Member
Posts:27239
Joined:Thu Aug 29, 2002 6:00 pm
Location:Starfall
Contact:

Re: Fairytale

Post by browneyedgirl » Wed Dec 22, 2004 3:17 am

Yes, that is very funny&probably would be true! :lol:
"Your life is yours, and yours alone. Rise up and live it!"

Bob: I don't believe in God.
Archangel Michael: That's OK, Bob, because He doesn't believe in you, either!~Legion~

User avatar
iron_thunder
Sr. Member
Posts:1985
Joined:Thu Dec 12, 2002 4:08 am
Location:Toronto, Canada!
Contact:

Re: Fairytale

Post by iron_thunder » Wed Dec 22, 2004 11:07 am

Yeah, that's been posted everywhere, it's great.

I love the folk metal one, it's hilaroius. Just like... What the FUCK?

User avatar
Mormegil
Sr. Member
Posts:4327
Joined:Fri Apr 25, 2003 2:31 pm
Location:United States of Europe, FI, Pori
Contact:

Re: Fairytale

Post by Mormegil » Wed Dec 22, 2004 12:16 pm

I was just thinking of posting this here. It's very very funny, especially the progressive metal -one. :D

In some versions there are also:

INDUSTRIAL METAL:
The protagonist arrives wearing greasy overcoat, makes an obscene gestures towards dragon, and gets escorted out of fairy tale land by security guards.

GRIND METAL:
The protagonist arrives, screams something completely undecipherable for about 2 minutes and then leaves...

gabriel
Member
Posts:251
Joined:Sun Dec 19, 2004 12:44 am
Location:Brazil

Re: Fairytale

Post by gabriel » Wed Dec 29, 2004 5:53 am

LOL
LOL
LOL
LOL
LOL
LOL
Are you experienced?

User avatar
Beast_Pete
Sr. Member
Posts:6489
Joined:Sun Mar 02, 2003 8:34 pm
Location:Budapest, Hungary
Contact:

Re: Fairytale

Post by Beast_Pete » Wed Dec 29, 2004 9:42 pm

MAJINDIEGO wrote:
Elazul wrote:
Natas wrote:This is the situation: there's a beautiful princess trapped in a castle watched by a dragon. Here's the end of the story with different styles of metalheads as knights.


POWER METAL:

The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.

THRASH METAL:

The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princes and fucks her.

HEAVY METAL:

The protagonist arrives on a harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few
beers and fucks the princess.

FOLK METAL:

The protagonist arrives with some friends playing acordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls sleep (because of all the dancing). Then all leave....without the princess.

VIKING METAL:

The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe, skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals her belongings and burns the castle before leaving.

DEATH METAL:

The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and kills her, then leaves.

BLACK METAL:

The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it in front of the castle. Then he sodomises the princess, drinks her blood in a ritual before killing her. Then he impales the princess next to the dragon.

GORE METAL:

The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in front of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her. Then he fucks the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts. Then he fucks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and fucks it for the last time.

DOOM METAL:

The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess as dessert. That's the end of the sad story.

PROGRESIVE METAL:

The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The protagonist arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year of the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for the "HEAVY METAL" protagonist.

GLAM METAL:

The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance and lets him enter. He steals the princess' make-up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink color.

NU METAL:

The protagonist arrives in a run-down Honda Civic and attempts to fight the dragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire
lol Image great thing man
Doesn't it piss you off when someone quote something this big?
:P
Why would it? =P

User avatar
HvyMtlClickWitch
Sr. Member
Posts:2215
Joined:Sat Apr 10, 2004 2:55 am
Location:Future World
Contact:

Re: Fairytale

Post by HvyMtlClickWitch » Wed Dec 29, 2004 9:46 pm

Beast_Pete wrote:
MAJINDIEGO wrote:
Elazul wrote:
Natas wrote:This is the situation: there's a beautiful princess trapped in a castle watched by a dragon. Here's the end of the story with different styles of metalheads as knights.


POWER METAL:

The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.

THRASH METAL:

The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princes and fucks her.

HEAVY METAL:

The protagonist arrives on a harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few
beers and fucks the princess.

FOLK METAL:

The protagonist arrives with some friends playing acordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls sleep (because of all the dancing). Then all leave....without the princess.

VIKING METAL:

The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe, skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals her belongings and burns the castle before leaving.

DEATH METAL:

The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and kills her, then leaves.

BLACK METAL:

The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it in front of the castle. Then he sodomises the princess, drinks her blood in a ritual before killing her. Then he impales the princess next to the dragon.

GORE METAL:

The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in front of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her. Then he fucks the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts. Then he fucks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and fucks it for the last time.

DOOM METAL:

The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess as dessert. That's the end of the sad story.

PROGRESIVE METAL:

The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The protagonist arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year of the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for the "HEAVY METAL" protagonist.

GLAM METAL:

The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance and lets him enter. He steals the princess' make-up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink color.

NU METAL:

The protagonist arrives in a run-down Honda Civic and attempts to fight the dragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire
lol Image great thing man
Doesn't it piss you off when someone quote something this big?
:P
Why would it? =P
No idea.
Let no man surrender so long as he is unwounded and can fight.

User avatar
Beast_Pete
Sr. Member
Posts:6489
Joined:Sun Mar 02, 2003 8:34 pm
Location:Budapest, Hungary
Contact:

Re: Fairytale

Post by Beast_Pete » Wed Dec 29, 2004 9:46 pm

What about Speed metal?

The protagonist arrives, and at the speed of light he runs into the castle, and saves the princess. Then fucks her also at the speed of light. (zirka 3 sec)

User avatar
Electric Eye
Sr. Member
Posts:441
Joined:Thu Apr 29, 2004 7:26 pm

Re: Fairytale

Post by Electric Eye » Fri Dec 31, 2004 12:43 pm

POODLE METAL:
The protagonist arrives with his huge, marvelous curly hairstyle, which he is really proud of. But with the first blast of dragonflame it completly burns in a blink of an eye. Then protagonist escapes in panic, completly bald and full of shame.
So where does the power come from to see the race to its end?
From within.

User avatar
shaz
Sr. Member
Posts:416
Joined:Mon Aug 09, 2004 7:24 pm
Location:Hellsinki

Re: Fairytale

Post by shaz » Fri Dec 31, 2004 2:35 pm

Hahaha, good one m8. :rotflmao1:
"The more I study religions the more I am convinced that man never worshipped anything but himself."
-Sir Richard Francis Burton

User avatar
Electric Eye
Sr. Member
Posts:441
Joined:Thu Apr 29, 2004 7:26 pm

Re: Fairytale

Post by Electric Eye » Sun Jan 02, 2005 7:07 pm

FUNKY METAL:
The protagonist arrives with his helmet back-to-front. Because of this he cannot see anything and heads straight for the wide open dragon's jaws.
So where does the power come from to see the race to its end?
From within.

Locked