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Hubble86
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 21, 2014 7:02 pm    Post subject: Add User to Ignore List Reply with quote

Smile

"Your Head!" hissed Kööski. "I can see your head, again! And you have a long beard!"

Long beard? I looked in the wallmirror and huh! My head was really visible and I had got a big al Qaeda-beard. This damn, unreliable pill, has it's side-effects, that's for sure, and one was apparently a long, thick and red beard.

We couldn't escape, so we crouched down on the floor, when the policeman waved his pistola. He wanted to know what we two were up to in Finland. In Finland? Kööski showed his pressleg, and I mumbled something inaudible and hoped for the best,

I was saved by a disturbance at the door. It was our shrink, that had heard about the dangerous Burkaman, with a Kalashnikov, and understood that it was me they feared.

"This man is not a terrorist." he yelled. He is that queer scientist, with the aliengoats. And he is invisible!"

"Invisible? Not as I can see." The policeman was irritated. "He is very visible, with a very visible beard. And a bupping head!"

"But, but, there is no body under that dress."

"No body? Nonsense and poppycock! Button up, bearded man, so I can see, if you hide some Kalashnikov there.

What to do? With a pistola pointed at my bupping head?

I slowly buttoned up my burkadress and for every button I opened, the policeman's fucking eyes grew bigger and bigger. His chin fell and his mouth was soon a big gaping hole...HUH...


And now to something completely different.

We in Koskalokka, close to the Russian border, Nurmi, Freckle, Kööski, the goats and I Öhubble, wish Lauri, Jens, Matias, Rolf, Timo and all the Forumers a really nice Christmas and a very happy new year...

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Kööski
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 23, 2014 9:47 pm    Post subject: Add User to Ignore List Reply with quote

Smile Jaja! I have to take over here now.

When the brusque policeman had gazed into the empty dress a while, he pointed his pistola at the place where Öhubble's micro was supposed to be.

"So let us see how sensitive that bupping head is down there."he smirked.

I protested loudly. "No, no, mister! He has only changed his blue cells to infrared and that is why your fucking eyes can't see them. You kill him if you shoot at his emptiness."

"Pfff." A nasty laugh and he raised his weapon and fired.

Bomkabom?

No! Click, Click.

The not so bright, but sloppy guy had, thanks to God, forgotten to load his pistola. I reacted instinctively, and lost control over my right boxingfist, that with a cracking sound landed on the brutes nose. A vessel broke and blood spurted like a fountain all over.

The shrink that had heard the clicks, and thought it came from a silencer, rushed now forward, and hit the heavy bleeding and screaming guy, with a chair. Both fell on the floor and the policeman called for help.

"Policeman down, policeman down..."

Suddenly it swarmed with heavy armed policemen. The bleeding "hero" was transported to hospital and the shrink and I were brutishly handcuffed, but, but, what to do with a bupping head with no hands to cuff?


Rolling Eyes Rolling Eyes

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Hubble86
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 27, 2014 6:52 pm    Post subject: Add User to Ignore List Reply with quote

Smile
Ja,ja. I'm visible again, and back at the goatfarm in Koskalokka. With restrictions! Rolling Eyes FSS(Finnish Secret Service) has strictly prohibited me to make more pills. Not even vitaminpills. Huh! They are damn suspicious!

But haha, they can't turn off my brain and I have found other ways to change blue cells to red ones. In water! HAHAHA!

I tested this "heavy water",on five goats, and gosh how they disappeared. Their goatkeeper, Nea, went hysterical and I had to give him extra strong fishliveroil, to calm him down. At last he cold see the greatness of my experiment.

We had no idea where the five went, and that was also a problem for the visible ones, when they sometimes collided with them. But after some time we could see five shaggy goatheads bupping around. The other goats saw them too, and huh how scared they got. They started määing and ran in wild panic away, as fast as they could. It was worse than a wolfattack.

Pekka was upset and redletterangry, since they broke the fences and ran over the border to Russia. The visible ones anxious mäings also scared the invisible and soon no one know who was the most frightened.

A guy on the other side of the border got the chock of his life, when five bupping goatheads came against him in collected troop. He ran and they saw him as a shepherd and followed in his heels määing for help.

After them came the visible ones and then we shouting.

With redangry Pekka Fucking Nurmi first...

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Kööski
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 30, 2014 2:02 pm    Post subject: Add User to Ignore List Reply with quote

Helsingin Sanomat.


National Alert In Russia.

By Gary Kööski.


President Vladimir Putin has today proclaimed an alert for west Russia, close to the Finnish border.

"Hundreds of very heavy armed invisible goats are on their way, in full speed, towards Mocba.

They are extremely explosive and if you see them, don't try to catch or shoot them. They are probably carrying trotyl or even atomic bumbs, on their invisible bodies, with only, rather bupping, raggy heads visible. There are evidences that NATO or Finland-Estonia are behind this attack on our democracy.

So take care out there...


Your Tsarovnikos and rescuer Vladimirovich Putina."

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Kööski
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 04, 2015 11:41 am    Post subject: Add User to Ignore List Reply with quote

Sad

Helsingin Sanomat, page nine, under an ad for beds...



False alarm in Russia.

President Putin and Kreml have broadcasted a retraction about the alert of armed hostile goats from Finland. They were neither invisible, with bupping heads or armed , but ordinary ragged goats, that had run away. when attacked by wolves( Russian till that Rolling Eyes )

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Hubble86
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 12, 2015 6:03 pm    Post subject: Add User to Ignore List Reply with quote

Sad

Sorry to say! My access to the Net is very irregular, since those damn Putifearing cowards in FSS have shut me in, in a hushhushbunker in the Finnish Gulag. The communistalien Putina tolerates no invisible goats or scientists and he demanded sternly, that I gave him, and only him, the pillrecipe. If I didn't oblige, he threatened with torture in form of a diet of sus-trömming and Russian vodka. Rolling Eyes It was far too much, so I gave in.

But he doesn't know, that I can write in this Forum, so here you too, have this Nobel-prize-worthy inventionrecipe.

200 gr,Magnesium,200 gr Rutenium,100 gr Lutetium,100 gr protein from snakes, frogs and gnatgnats, 50 gr Little Cocaleaves from El Salvador, 50 gr Moss from Swedish Hills, salt and pepper, and an ounce of Cyanide.

Let it boil with Kosken, to a mass, that can be formed to pills.

But, but, there are still some silly side-effects and the bupping head is one I haven't solved. It has maybe to do, with the activity, when thoughts are creating invisible-obstructing chemistry in the brain.

Now they are waiting for Putinas reactions, but I don't think this hircin dares to try it, so it will surely be some "Enemy of the State", that has to risk his life for "Russian Science."

The FSS will still not let me go, and Kööski has to come here, with one of my hidden pills. How, you wonder! In this closed Gulag? PFFF! He will of course take a pill himself and use GPS. And since he seldom thinks, he doesn't risk headbupping.

As soon as I am invisible, I have to run fast as hell, before my head starts to bupp...

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Hubble86
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 18, 2015 3:25 pm    Post subject: Add User to Ignore List Reply with quote

Smile I will do my best, to keep this forum alive...


Of course no one believed that bludder-recipe for invisiblepills. 100 gr Lutetium? And frogprotein? Wink

Well, well! Putina was KGB-suspicious, but he let anyway, his very skeptical head chemist, Fjodor Puslamenco, try to do it. The result was some soup, that refused to be shaped as pills, and five Guinea-Pig-Enemies of the State had to eat it with spoons.

Of course no invisibility! Haha! Rolling Eyes But an incredibly violent vomiting and groovy diarrhea, like a volcanoactivity, hit the Enemies. HUUUUH!

The Kremlin is a palace built 1837, with one golden chamber after the other, but with very few toilets. And in this case it was disastrous. The poor soupeating, shitting and vomiting "Enemies", ran around in panic and the precious mats and polished floors looked soon, as the nature after an ordinary Finnish Midsummerparty.

Putina was more than furious! Vojne, vojne! He sent a mail to FSS! "Shoot! Shoot, that mad professor, for his hostile attack on the Soviet Union! Immediately!

Soviet Union? FSS didn't know what to think, or what to do. Soviet? Had Putina lost it totally? And the last one executed in Finland was 1825...

But what to do with the mad professor Öhubble? What had he done? Really? Killed anyone? No! He had joked with Putina, that asked for it! Had anyone in FSS "seen" some invisible man? No! Or goat? No! So wasn't this some Putina-brain-ghost?

Hadn't the mad professor, with his laughable aliengoats, fooled them all? Again? Hu! What a broadside!

So they let me leave Finnish Gulag, with some embarrassed smiles, but with a little warning on the road. Please don't joke with Mr Putina again,it can cost you your life...

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Kööski
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 19, 2015 9:20 pm    Post subject: Add User to Ignore List Reply with quote

Crying or Very sad One little swallow makes no Summer. Still Winter... Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad

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Hubble86
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 24, 2015 3:49 pm    Post subject: Add User to Ignore List Reply with quote

Meanwhile in Kremlin, Moscow...


Mr Putina became even more redlettered furious, when he heard, that the Mad Professor had left the Gulagjail, as a free man. Between screeched teeth he whined. This German skunk must be punished! Hard and merciless! With sus-trömming and Russian vodka. Huh!

The magnificent Kremlinpalace had lost its glory!The Guinea Pigs had been naked, since the pill, according to the mad man, couldn't work, when they were dressed. Grrrr Grrrr!


So the flouting shit had free fall on old delicate, invaluable mats, that were almost impossible to clean. A strong repugnant, disgusting smell lingered where the five panic-stricken, shitneedy men had been running around. Several of the rooms were totally ruined.

Behind Putinas back some, with nasty laughs, blamed him and called him an easyfooled Dummkopf and Muttonhead. So he pined for revenge, and decided to capture that German scoundrel, in a secret mission. Under fierce and savage torture should he then be forced to give Putina the real invisible-pill-recipe. Who would laugh then?

Russian spies reported, that there were four men at the goatfarm. The Mad Professor. The farmer Pekka Nurmi, who claimed he was an alien.Rolling Eyes Nea the shepherd, an American sprinkler at CIA. And a mediocre reporter, Gary Swan, under a false, strange, Finnish name. Also CIA: So there had to be four ugly flies in the same catch.

A very dark night, six Russian Communista-brutes sneaked into Finland and Koskalukka. They had been ordered to take the four men at the farm, alive. If possible!

But, but! Nurmi had got a message from his homeplanet, Excessa...

"Alert, alert! Hostile, heavily armed, Russian aggressors, incoming on the east side of the farm..."

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Kööski
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 04, 2015 2:13 pm    Post subject: Add User to Ignore List Reply with quote

Smile Meanwhile 2. In Kremlin, Moscow...


Vladimir P. was bloodred-letter-angry, but also scared, when he got the alarming news, that there were no reports at all, from his KGB-sixpack in Finland. Not a sound!

So he sent out a searchteam, led by former spetsnaz-colonel Dimitri Shelepin and they soon found the six-packs campsite, close to the Finnish border and Koskalokka goatfarm. They could also follow their footsteps, in the snow, to the borderfence.

But no signs of the group, and no traces of them on the Finnish side. The fence was broken, as if they were on their way in, but they all had stayed in Russia. There had been no activity of any kind, and there was a threatening snowwhite silence, only disturbed by a big flock cawing, very black crows.

No one had passed the border, and no one had gone back to the campsite. Someone had peed a name into Finland and they had been standing in a row along the fence. That was it...

Colonel Shelepin was more than confused and reported to Vladimir. "The sixpack was here, but has gone. I don't know to where, when or how. They have just disappeared in thin air. What to do?"

Vladimir that was super-superstitious, lost his facecolor and started to shiver. In his childhood his mother used to scare him with ugly monsters, that took and ate disobedient children, and for some reasons she called them "Stalinas". Little Vladimir had since then, often had frightening nightmares about those Stalinas, and now he felt that they had come to life.

But, but, how could that be possible?

STALINAS! HUH!

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Kööski
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 07, 2015 9:33 am    Post subject: Add User to Ignore List Reply with quote

Meanwhile 3 in Vladimirs bed. At night.


Vladimir is scared and sings, with his thin voice, a song his mother used to comfort him with, when he had nightmares.


Stalinka, Stalinka, Stalinka da da,
V sadu yagoda Vladinka, Vladinka, da da.
In the darkness I see you, Vladinka, da da,
And eat you for dinner,I'm Stalinka da da,
Oh little Vlady, I'm Stalinka haha...
Nom,nom,nom, I eat my Vladinka da da...ha ha...

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Kööski
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 16, 2015 1:49 pm    Post subject: Add User to Ignore List Reply with quote

Smile
Meanwhile 4...Twelve days later, still in Vladimir's bedroom.

Vladimir woke up, after a hard night with one bad Stalinadream, after the other. He hadn't left his room for days and anyone who tried to visit him was brutally shown the door. He ate very little and was psychotic and stressed. He felt that something was very wrong and he saw the Stalinadreams as a fearful omen.

He had got a new message from colonel Shelepin. The six men were still missing, but the name they had peed in the snow wasn't a name at all. It was a frightening message. And it said. A.L.I.E.N.S.

Rumors have their own alert lives, and there were soon whispers about an alieninvasion at the east border. The fear was growing and Vladimir realized that he must DO something. He was after all Mother Russia's Tsarstar.

He decided to go to the village Koskalukka that seemed to be the spidernest, with the pillprofessor as the mad spider. So he sent two heavily armed tanks, to the border, with order to capture the four men at the goatfarm.

Next day he got a report. "Two Russian tanks mysteriously missing at the Finnish border. There were trails in the snow, where they had stopped close to Koskalukka, but they have disappeared, without any trace, out in the blue."

The now falling snow filled the tracks and the silence was uncanny and menacing. In the trees sat a flock of eerie quiet, big black birds and their blank, shiny eyes followed the investigators all movements.

SCARY WAS A TOO MILD WORD...

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Kööski
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2015 2:47 pm    Post subject: Add User to Ignore List Reply with quote

Smile Meanwhile 5. At Kremlin! Again!

Vladimir was upset and desperate,since the situation became more critical for every day. Now had also the investigating crew at the border disappeared, and there were alarming reports about missing soldiers all over Russia.

The military capacity was reduced, day by day, while suddenly the bird-population increased very fast. The birds with glaring, scrutinizing eyes were seen all over the country, but mostly close to Ukraine, where they weren't silent at all. Their hoarse, shrieking croaks drowned every other sound and ornithologists had lively discussions about what sort of birds it could be, that were black as ravens, but twice as large and with very peculiar, almost human, shiny eyes.

Vladimir didn't know what to do. His soldiers disappeared to whereever, and there was no enemy to kill. And birds everywhere. Big scary birds. Would it help to exterminate them? The problem there was that there were more and more for every day. Where on Earth did they come from? Questions! Questions!


Meanwhile 6. At the goatfarm in Koskalukka.

The four guys, at the farm, Nea, Kööski, Öhubble and Nurmi had observed that every Russian attempt to capture them had failed, and they didn't understand what was going on. One minute the Russians were closing in and the next they were gone. Totally gone, without a trace, but their footsteps in the snow.

Öhubble blamed Nurmis alienfriends, but Nurmi denied that vehemently.And he was alarmed and worried over all the big black birds, that sat silently and seemingly waiting for something,in the Russian part of the forest. They had turned their heads and looked now with their creepy, spooky eyes at the farm...

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Kööski
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 23, 2015 10:00 am    Post subject: Add User to Ignore List Reply with quote

Crying Meanwhile 7. Everywhere...

Stalinas, Stalinas, Staliinas, da, da...



Errrr

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Kööski
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 06, 2015 2:20 pm    Post subject: Add User to Ignore List Reply with quote

Smile Two weeks later in Vladimir's bedroom in Moskow...


Vladimir got up early, after another sleepless night. He liked to prepare himself, for what he hoped should be a definitive and memorable day.

The situation in Russia, and strangely enough only there, was close to catastrophe. People, mostly soldiers and politicians, disappeared in thin air every day. But the big black birds multiplied and were now many times more than 9000.

Vladimir thought that extraordinary measures were necessary and exclaimed himself to tsaremperor Vladimir Peter Alexander the Great, with unlimited power over all environmentactivists and mentalists, since he was convinced that the black birds, were the root of all evils, and had to be extinct. So he gave a nationwide order that all men in Russia should take their weapons and at twelve o'clock Moscowtime this day go out and kill all the birds they could find.


Five to twelve on this sunny and bright springday, Vladimir the Great went out with his Kalashnikow, and so did most men in all the country. Now they would save old mother Russia from the Devilbirds.

When the clock struck twelve in Moscow, an earsplitting salute was heard all over the country and many, many birds were deadly hit.

BUT,BUT! THEY DID NOT FALL DOWN FROM THE SKY!

No, no! Not at all!. On the contrary! They formed a bigbig black cloud, that darkened the sky, and made day to night. This black, morose cloud rose, as some Icaros, towards the Sun, and black hails fell like bumbs on the earth. Bumkabum! They made holes in everything and people died like flies. With weapons in their hands.

Vojne, vojne! A terrible, A-bumbstrong sound from the sky went in a wave all around the globe and in the White House, in US, president Obama fell with a bump out of his bed.

"What on Earth was that?" he asked his wife, that also sat on the floor. Armageddon? Or Apocalypse now?


HUUUUU...Was all she could say...

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Kööski
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 09, 2015 1:54 pm    Post subject: Add User to Ignore List Reply with quote

Sad Meanwhile at Nasa, US.


Former astronauttrainee Gary Spaceson, was in deep chock. A big black,deafening soundcloud, filled his telescopview and it seemed to leave the Earth. To where?

In some minutes it changed direction, and became more focused and concentrated.

With the speed of light, it went into the stonebelt between Mars and Jupiter and to the Asteroid we call Ceres. Nasa had for some time observed two parking lights there and explained to the curious taxpayers that it was icespots that reflected some sunshine or whatever. They didn't really have the smallest idea what it was, but had to say something. Rolling Eyes Rolling Eyes But who would believe them now? Rolling Eyes

The big black strange cloud used those two lights as GPS and darkened the whole Ceres totally, when it landed on the surface. The Asteroid disappeared and became a black hole.

The Nasaalarm howled and so did the White House-alert. The cloud had risen from Russia and had the new Tsar Vladimir the Great something to do with this? He had, two weeks ago, closed the borders and the Internet, and the world had speculated wildly about his reasons. There were rumors about disappearing soldiers and strange black birds, but no one knew for sure what this brand new Emperor had in mind. It was really scaryscary!

Obama picked up his red alertphone from the cold War days and called the Great Tsar.

But, but Vladimir didn't answer. And the silence echoed heavily in the desolation...

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Kööski
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 14, 2015 10:17 am    Post subject: Add User to Ignore List Reply with quote

Sad

"Everyone has their off days, but when you're proudly virile and uncontested leader of one of the most watched countries in the world, your days off make people nervous. Russian president Putin hasn't been seen for days and now people are beginning to wonder why."

This is what Washington Post wrote, and then they speculated a lot about Vladimir and his reasons. But vojne, vojne. We in this Forum know more than we really want about this.

Vladimir is staying under his bed in Kremlina, breathing heavily! He has seen, not the light, but the dark and has one panic-attack after the other. He sees black birds flying high and he can't escape those horrible sights how much he vojnes.

When he is fit again we don't know, but such brainstates can take time to heal and I will of course inform you, as soon as I got some report.

AND you have to remember that it was I, Krööski, that told you first...

Wink

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Kööski
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 16, 2015 3:32 pm    Post subject: Add User to Ignore List Reply with quote

Smile Meanwhile in Russia's defensequarters...


Since Vladimir is engaged in his heavy breathing and all his panicattacks, the Russian rudder is taken over by Sergary Showtime, and he has commanded highest alarm in Arctic.

In Arctic?

Showtime has in a Pravdainterview said, that he today has sent the Northfleet and paratroopers, on an exercise in the arctic waters.

"We have big problems and must take them seriously, but all that is classified, so I can't discuss it here. But I can tell you that they mostly are ornithological." (Birds also!Rolling Eyes )

"They are totally new to us, and we have to fight things we haven't met before. So I have sent 40000 soldiers, 41 battleships and 15 submarines to the Nordic waters, where we believe they are needed most."

If the solareclipse on Mars 20 has something to do with this he didn't say, and the mention of birds is of course a mystery to all, except us on Stratoforum.

But, but, I am afraid, that there will be even bigger problems and that all those soldiers, ships and submarines may disappear, before they have actually met any birds. And that the black bigbirdpopulation will increase enormously. Again!

So I fear the worst!


Breaking news! Breaking news!

A new and fresh Vladimir has showed up. But, but, everyone, with some reasonably proper eyes, can see, that this is his stand in, Dimitri Tjostaforic. They can't lure us on this forum, since we know that Vladimir still is breathing heavily under his bed, and that his panicattacks still appear regularly..


We are NO fools... Wink

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Hubble86
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 02, 2015 1:30 pm    Post subject: Add User to Ignore List Reply with quote

Smile Meanwhile at the goatfarm in Koskalokka.

Ja, ja, Kööski gave up. The Vladimirthing was too much for him, and I have to take over. Again! Rolling Eyes

Nea, Kööski, Pekka and I had barricaded us at the farm, and were waiting for the Apocalypse or Ragnarök, as we call it here. It was a scary atmosphere. The glaring big birds had stopped croaking and left, and a heavy silence reigned all around.

Suddenly a strong bumkabum was over us and a violent storm came from the east. It was pitch dark and a black cloud covered the whole sky. A screeching sound, as from more than 9000 angry birds tormented our ears, and we fell to the floor.

We didn't dare to move and prayed to whomever for help. Then suddenly the black cloud disappeared and the Sun was back.

We looked out and at the border stood a Russian tank and some men. They seemed very distraught and waved to us, so we invited them for some vodka and beer. We asked them what had happened and why they were there.

Rolling Eyes They had no idea!! Rolling Eyes

A colonel Shelepin called his boss and he didn't know either.But from some fathomless reason our Kööski knew and told them. Everybody laughed heartily and said it was a good First-April-joke. Haha! Putin as Emperor Vladimir the Great, breathing heavily under his bed! Haha, haha!

Everything was very confusing and one of the most bizarre things was that we talked to each other without words. I can't speak Russian, but now we could understand each other perfectly, without opening our mouths.

Huh! What can this mean?Confused Confused Confused Confused

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Hubble86
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PostPosted: Sat Apr 11, 2015 12:03 pm    Post subject: Add User to Ignore List Reply with quote

Smile

Jaja! Why didn't we speak as usual? The answer to that is, that something in the speakcenter in the brain had changed all over Russia, and that we on the border were "borderlines". We couldn't speak and we didn't need to.

The thought-talk-lobs worked so much better than Googles translations, but it had it's disadvantages. It was too honest. Far, far, too honest.

I, for example, thought that colonel Shelepin was a real jerk and the ugliest person I had seen. Ever! Probably an impotent, sneaking lurkgay...

When he "heard" me he exploded and "said" that he should torture and kill me, as soon as he got a chance. But then he suddenly remembered that Vladimir had ordered him to kidnap me and my friends, so he put back his pistola.

When Nea "heard" that, he hurried under a bed, where he breathed heavily and sucked his fishliveroilbottle in despair.
Kööski took a deep sip of vodka, and Nurmi "said", that Excessa would come for all damn Russians and hack them to small Russ-Raisins.

The Russian soldiers stumbled drunkenly back over the border. Shelepin was confused from all the "talk" and contacted Vladimir under the Kremlinabed.

"Tsar Emperor Vladimir the Great speaking", thought Vladimir the Great, on the strange new thoughtline. "Give me the Pill-Hubble. I need to be invisible now.You hear me Shelepin, and don't even think of killing him. You are ugly...really ugly...and a sneaking lurkgay...

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Hubble86
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 17, 2015 2:10 pm    Post subject: Add User to Ignore List Reply with quote

Smile Meanwhile at the Russinvaded farm in Koskalukka...


The Russians became even more drunk-agitated, when Shelepin told them, that the damned Finns were their prisoners, and that he had called for an helicopter to take us to Moscow.

From all the Russian perkeles and satanas, I understood, that we were in real danger and in my bewilderment, I happened to pull my right ear-lobe. Hocus pocus, the new brain-communication stopped and I was alone with my thoughts. All the voices were gone and it was a heavenly bliss to escape the blabbering Russ-apes. I could talk normally again, and when I tried the left ear-lobe, heureka, I could hear what the apes "said".

I told my friends, and Nea decided to leave his nomnomnoms and go invisible. The rest of us drank the goat-invisible-water and disappeared right away. We undressed quickly and the two Russians, that should watch us, were quarreling with each other and didn't see the heaps of clothes on the floor.

The helicopter landed on our meadow and Shelepin came in and roared. "All perkele, satana Finns out to the kopter, or we kill you one by one."

No answer. No perkele Finns. But we, the invisible ones, were actually on our way to the "kopter" and not as prisoners. Nea could handle that machine, and we went in and threw the two Russ-pilots out. They didn't understand a shit and screamed all the way.

Nea started, and bumkabum, we were soon high up in the sky.

I pulled my left ear-lobe and laughed heartily, when I told the gaping crowd on the ground."There you can stand with your long ugly noses. We are riding into the sunset and you can be sure that your precious Tsar Emperor Vladimir the Great will reward you plentifully for your incompetence."

Hahahahaha...

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Hubble86
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 23, 2015 10:23 am    Post subject: Add User to Ignore List Reply with quote

Smile

When we had waved goodbye to the upset Russians, we headed for Sweden and my daughter Freckle in Lund. The Russians were furious, but also frightened. They couldn't understand how the men became invisible and managed to fly away in their helicopter.

Shelepin contacted his friend general Mustiiliinen in Helsinki. "This is incredible", he roared,"But four invisible Finns have stolen my helicopter and you must catch them. It's our Tsar Vladimir the Greats order.

General Mustiiliinen, that knew Shelepin from earlier sauna and vodka meetings, answered calmly."Jo,jo. I will take care of that. Don't worry! I call you when I have them. Those invisible Finns..."

With that he disconnected, and I am sure he also made a face-palm.

We flew undetected, under the radar, and were soon in Sweden. Shelepin must have understood, that Mustiiliinen wouldn't help him, since he no longer answered his phone. So he called commander Karl Svensson in Stockholm.

"You must listen to me! Four invisible Finns have stolen my helicopter and have probably gone to Sweden. Putin want's them, so you have to look for them."

"Aha", said Svensson, "Invisible Finns you say? That sounds incredible. Haha! You must be joking! And how can I look for them, if they are invisible?

"No, no joke! Putins order was to take them to Moscow, but they just flew away."

"Aha, jaja, we will of course look for them. But I still wonder how...If they are invisible I mean.
Disconnected.

Noone did show us any interest and we landed on a rapeseedfield in Klostrup close to Freckles house. We destroyed some of the crop and the farmer came running with a shotgun in his hands.

"Satans helvete! Vad håller ni på med era djävla kommunister? Ni förstör ju min åker med er satans maskin."

He tore open the door, still cursing, but swallowed the next outburst, when he looked into the very empty machine...

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ÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖ
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Joined: 04 Mar 2010
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 27, 2015 2:10 pm    Post subject: Add User to Ignore List Reply with quote

Smile
Meanwhile in Klostrup...

I came home late and understood that something was very wrong, when I saw, that the lamps were lit all over the house. Burglars?

But the door was intact and when I entered I heard voices and "I remember Clifford", with Getz on my record player. My father! But whom was he talking to? I couldn't see him so I called out and got a mumble for answer.

Oh, that damn invisiblestuff...

Then I saw how Nea came crawling from under my bed. He was at least visible and he grinned an hi. "We had a little problem", he said. "So we had to run from Finland, in a Russian helicopter, and it is a bit of hallo, where we landed.

We were all invisible you know and police, military and media found that interesting. So I hid under your bed, when I was visible. Your father hopes, that he and the two others, Kööski and Nurmi, soon could be seen again, but something seems to have got wrong there. They are naked, so you can see them with blankets on."

Now a blanket came forward and it was my father. "We had nowhere else to go and you must hide us. The Russian tsar Vladimir the Great Putin, is after me and we stole his helicopter, so I am afraid that they soon are here. The Russians I mean. Not Putin himself haha. Or can he? Huh!"

Bumkabum at the door. Who could that be? Huh! Swedish police or Russian Putingangsta? What is worst?Confused

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ÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖ
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 30, 2015 11:39 am    Post subject: Add User to Ignore List Reply with quote

Smile

Still Klostrup...


Nea opened with a kind smile. But the two stonefaced secret policemen didn't respond. They showed their id-cards and came in, uninvited. They asked rudely for my father and Nea acted, as a little stupid question mark. "Who, what, who?"

I heard three blankets fall to the floor and put Getz on repeat, when I answered that my father was in Finland.

"No, we have indications, that he has come here this evening, with three other Finns, in a Russian helicopter. Haven't you heard all the fuss here?"

"Fuss? No, my American friend and I, have just come home, and we saw a lot of cars in the village, but had no idea why they were there. But what has that to do with my father? Is he really here? In that helicopter?"

"No, the helicopter was empty, but we supposed he would visit you."

I shook my head. "I don't understand what you are saying. Is he here or not? I can't understand."

"No,, neither can we. Can we look around?"

I nodded and hoped that the three invisible men could hide, and not bump into the long arms of the law. Then I saw how the door out to the garden slowly opened and I could breath again.

The policemen went through the house, and when they found nothing, they left, still looking very suspicious. We saw them drive away and the gardendoor opens. The blankets were on again, since it was freezing cold outside.

But, but, then we saw a big black limo come sneaking into my parking place, and a man in a long black coat,a big slouch-hat and large sunglases came out. He looked as an American moviegangsta and we understood, that we had a new scary ordeal ahead... HUHHUH...

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ÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖ
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PostPosted: Sun May 03, 2015 12:45 pm    Post subject: Add User to Ignore List Reply with quote

Smile

Two more men came out of the Limo, and they looked like two overgrown gorillas. They had some kalashnikov-alike things in their hands and they smoked! Airdestroyers! Gangstasmokers!

The one with the sunglasses walked towards my entrance. It was close to midnight and no Midsummer-sun up, so he stumbled forward in some sort of silly walk. He looked like Hunchback in Notre dame and gave us cold shivers on our backs. I heard the blankets fall again and the door to the garden opens.

The doorbell echoed in the silence.

Twice!

We were stiff with fright, but at last the brave hero Nea opened the door a little ajar, sure to get a bullet, in his now visible breast.

But the sunglassman smiled wryly and apologized over his late visit. He introduced himself as XXXXX XXX from Stratoforum and wanted to talk with Ö10.

Ö10?

When we had let him in, he explained that he was a keen and glowing admirer of Jens Johansson and that he had heard that I, Ö10, had a large collection of early Silver Mountain and Yngvie Malmsteen vinyl. He would like to purchase, as many as i would sell, and to a price of 2000 dollars apiece...

XXXXX XXX in Klostrup? Gosheligosh...

Shocked Shocked

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Hubble86
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PostPosted: Thu May 07, 2015 12:59 pm    Post subject: Add User to Ignore List Reply with quote

´Jaja! Me again...

Freckle sold a bunch of records to that Forum-Hippie and will send the money to Jens. When the guy at last left, we could relax and be warm again, in front of a big logfire, after our excursions in the cold garden. We ate Nea's delicious nomnomnoms, but refused that disgusting fishliveroil he always tries to foist on us. I often wonder a little over his love for that specific, loathing, oily fluid.

We have a bigbig problem with my new pill, since we still are invisible.With the earlier one, my head started to bupp after eight hours, but there is no such effect now, which is really worrying. Another scary thing showed up this morning, when I suddenly saw Nurmis arse as in a fog. And when I looked at my own back in a mirror, the same phenomenon manifested itself. A pinkgray arse and nothing more.

Freckle and Nea laughed hysterically, when they saw three arses bupping arond, and since she has no menunderwear in the house we had to improvise and use towels, as some sort of assdresses. We feared that also our frontpart could soon be seen and we wanted to spare them some laughs.

The only advantage here, was that we no longer bumped into each other...

The sideeffects seem to be more complicated this time and till that we have the angry Tsar Vladimir the Great. And the diplomatic halloj about the unmanned Russian helicopter, in the farmers field.

This is NOTHING to laugh hysterically about, and fishliveroil is NOT the solution, as Nea thinks.

I have to use more than my reptilebrain this time. That is for sure...





:

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Hubble86
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PostPosted: Mon May 11, 2015 12:35 pm    Post subject: Add User to Ignore List Reply with quote

Smile This rhymes I have stolen from Monty...


Some things in life are dreadfully bad,

And really make me very, very mad,

If you listen, you can hear,

How I now will curse and swear,

I hate this condition and I gristle,

I grumble and I do NOT whistle,

But it will not help me in the least,

To see this invisibility as some great feast.


So I will try to look at it, from the bright side of life. Aha, aha...I will try to look at it from the light side of life, aha,aha...


For this is quite absurd, and I can find no word,

Life is a bit of shit, when you look at it,

But just laugh and in you fit,

And remember that the last laugh is yours to hit,

So look at it it from the bright side of life, aha,aha, look at it from the light side of life aha,aha.......

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NeverendingAbyss
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Joined: 29 Sep 2008
Posts: 4469

PostPosted: Tue May 12, 2015 1:15 am    Post subject: Add User to Ignore List Reply with quote

You make love to my ears. Smile

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Hubble86
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PostPosted: Tue May 12, 2015 10:11 am    Post subject: Add User to Ignore List Reply with quote

Sad Oh no! Did I? Was it rape? Can't remember! Was I invisible? Are you sure it was me? Really?

Those damn pill-side-effects...So sorry, Nea! How are your ears now? Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad

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Hubble86
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PostPosted: Wed May 13, 2015 12:52 pm    Post subject: Add User to Ignore List Reply with quote

Smile

Jaja! I made a mistake and I am so sorry! Neas ears were of course not raped and my assumption was a pilleffect. I understood that when Nea pointed out his ears to me. Ears can't be raped and hardly even fucked. Rolling Eyes Rolling Eyes

Now to something completely different. Freckle and Nea drove to a big shopping-center, to buy clothes for us, and we had to stay in the back of the car, at the big parking-place. First we got some underwear and it was really frustrating to dress, in the cramped space, so I took the risk and tried my drawers outside.

Two children saw me and started to point and scream, point and scream. And their parents weren't late to come running. Also pointing and screaming. Idiots!!

More people were alerted and I undressed quickly. But, but. My butt, my butt. And my "front", that now also was dimly seen, without my towel.

More pointing. More screams...

The two in the backseat, that also tried underwear, undressed too. More butts, more "fronts".

Freckle and Nea were still in the shops, so I hurried to the driver's seat and started the car.

More screams.

Someone tried to stop the car and I brummmed the motor. Brumbrumbrum...the engine accelerated...

More screams.

Then they tried to open the locked door, and I put the gas-pedal in the bottom...

More screams and eleven calls to the police.

Tuttuttuttut...Ouiouioui...

The empty car first and then four police-cars on the road to Lundalay,,.Ouiouioui...

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