Timo Tolkki news

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MetalNat
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Timo Tolkki news

Post by MetalNat » Fri Jun 11, 2010 8:39 pm

I found out here a while back that Timo Tolkki works full-time in a cheese-factory. Any new updates on that?

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robocop656
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Re: Timo Tolkki news

Post by robocop656 » Sat Jun 12, 2010 12:51 am

mozzarella or cheddar??

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NeverendingAbyss
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Re: Timo Tolkki news

Post by NeverendingAbyss » Sat Jun 12, 2010 1:36 am

:shock: Those are...

*puts on sunglasses*

cheesy news.

TimoToikki
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Re: Timo Tolkki news

Post by TimoToikki » Sat Jun 12, 2010 3:27 am

You may have heard from my brother, that I am quitting cheese business forever.....let me explain.

I recently had an internship, at Gorgonzola factory :)

It was very, very bad....

Of course, I have universal mind. My world view and cheese view were both different than other factory employees. I worked tirelessly, of course, but because of my globalist-soul, I expressed myself creatively at factory while others focused on mundane tasks :)

I arranged curds of cheese in shape of peaceful mother earth animals. At first I started small- lice, newts, lizards, salamanders. Eventually my ambitious soul persevered and I climbed food ladder. Before I knew it, I was arranging cheeses as triceratops, mammoths, and tolkki-saurus.

My factory supervisor, who is quite asshole, did not appreciate :)

One day, I drank 3 liters of water all at once. I would have drank beer, but I take lithium for bipolar disorder and have not had a drop of alcohol since Icecar made his first typo. That was quite long time ago.

Anyway, after some time at factory I realized I had to take piss. But, I had another 20 min until my next break and besides, someone had exploded toilet anyway. I saw in a big vat, all my cheese animal artworks. I looked to left and right, saw no one is there, and took a leak right in the vat.

Jenn, my supervisor, immediately spotted my tiny phallus from across the hall and I received a termination, for pissing on my own art. I was told that my behavior is truly disgusting, and that I am a very, very bad employee.

I pleaded, I begged her for second chance, I even offered her to win guitar in factory contest, but the bitch would not listen. And thus concludes my experience in cheese business.

PS: Timo Kotipelto shaves his armpits.

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browneyedgirl
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Re: Timo Tolkki news

Post by browneyedgirl » Sat Jun 12, 2010 3:52 am

Is TT still cutting the cheese? ???

I always seen Timo as a Swiss lover, or maybe Edam or Gouda(both goat milk cheese)?

I have always heard if you ever saw how cheese was made you'd never eat it again! :lol:

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robocop656
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Re: Timo Tolkki news

Post by robocop656 » Sat Jun 12, 2010 5:40 am

TimoToikki wrote:PS: Timo Kotipelto shaves his armpits.
Next you'll tell me the sky is blue....It's very, very bad you are such an ass goblin and you remember all these little stupid posts that were said on the forum throughout the past months/years. I'm a huge loser...but get a goddamn life. Go learn how to play a new instrument or something constructive. Hell, go jerk off. T o i k k i

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Re: Timo Tolkki news

Post by crostrato » Sat Jun 12, 2010 3:48 pm

jens, just start to delete this kind of topics

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Rebel
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Re: Timo Tolkki news

Post by Rebel » Sat Jun 12, 2010 4:14 pm

crostrato wrote:jens, just start to delete this kind of topics
.
:lol: :lol: :lol:
>Implying Jens doesn't chuckle at these
>Implying the rest of the forum's mods aren't sadistic fucks who don't believe in the minimal amount of moderation

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robocop656
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Re: Timo Tolkki news

Post by robocop656 » Sat Jun 12, 2010 7:08 pm

Rebel wrote:
crostrato wrote:jens, just start to delete this kind of topics
.
:lol: :lol: :lol:
>Implying Jens doesn't chuckle at these
>Implying the rest of the forum's mods aren't sadistic fucks who don't believe in the minimal amount of moderation
>IMPLYING YOU ARE A PEDOPHILE FROM 4CHAN

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Rebel
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Re: Timo Tolkki news

Post by Rebel » Sat Jun 12, 2010 7:21 pm

robocop656 wrote:
Rebel wrote:
crostrato wrote:jens, just start to delete this kind of topics
.
:lol: :lol: :lol:
>Implying Jens doesn't chuckle at these
>Implying the rest of the forum's mods aren't sadistic fucks who don't believe in the minimal amount of moderation
>IMPLYING YOU ARE A PEDOPHILE FROM 4CHAN
>Implying knowing what I'm talking about means you're not a pedophile from 4chan
>Implying I've left /mu/ in months
>Implying you didn't just imply that I'm not a pedophile
>Implying that you actually know how to imply.

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robocop656
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Re: Timo Tolkki news

Post by robocop656 » Sat Jun 12, 2010 7:25 pm

Rebel wrote:
robocop656 wrote:
Rebel wrote:
crostrato wrote:jens, just start to delete this kind of topics
.
:lol: :lol: :lol:
>Implying Jens doesn't chuckle at these
>Implying the rest of the forum's mods aren't sadistic fucks who don't believe in the minimal amount of moderation
>IMPLYING YOU ARE A PEDOPHILE FROM 4CHAN
>Implying knowing what I'm talking about means you're not a pedophile from 4chan
>Implying I've left /mu/ in months
>Implying you didn't just imply that I'm not a pedophile
>Implying that you actually know how to imply.
Why don't you suck my big hairy balls? I don't give a fuck if you browse your moms underwear drawer let alone websites for 12 year old boys.

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robocop656
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Re: Timo Tolkki news

Post by robocop656 » Sat Jun 12, 2010 9:56 pm

the strato forum is super fast today

<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/5lXLw_hKnbU&hl ... ram><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/5lXLw_hKnbU&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>

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Rebel
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Re: Timo Tolkki news

Post by Rebel » Sun Jun 13, 2010 2:26 am

robocop656 wrote:
Rebel wrote:
robocop656 wrote:
Rebel wrote:
crostrato wrote:jens, just start to delete this kind of topics
.
:lol: :lol: :lol:
>Implying Jens doesn't chuckle at these
>Implying the rest of the forum's mods aren't sadistic fucks who don't believe in the minimal amount of moderation
>IMPLYING YOU ARE A PEDOPHILE FROM 4CHAN
>Implying knowing what I'm talking about means you're not a pedophile from 4chan
>Implying I've left /mu/ in months
>Implying you didn't just imply that I'm not a pedophile
>Implying that you actually know how to imply.
Why don't you suck my big hairy balls? I don't give a fuck if you browse your moms underwear drawer let alone websites for 12 year old boys.
>Implying

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robocop656
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Re: Timo Tolkki news

Post by robocop656 » Sun Jun 13, 2010 2:48 am

This is you:

Image

Image

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thefreeone
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Re: Timo Tolkki news

Post by thefreeone » Mon Jun 14, 2010 6:11 am

robocop656 wrote:This is you:

Image

Image
lol

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Rebel
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Re: Timo Tolkki news

Post by Rebel » Mon Jun 14, 2010 6:15 am

robocop656 wrote:This is you:

Image

Image
No way! I don't own a crown like that!
Sadly :(

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Rebel
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Re: Timo Tolkki news

Post by Rebel » Mon Jun 14, 2010 6:58 am

robocop656 wrote:This is you:

Image

Image
No way! I don't own a crown like that!
Sadly :(

MetalNat
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Re: Timo Tolkki news

Post by MetalNat » Mon Jun 14, 2010 2:14 pm

Thanks for all the updates on Tolkki. Judging from the info here I get a feeling that Timo really is a true Warrior of Light. Only a real Warrior of Light would do such great work in a cheese-factory.

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ggonza43
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Re: Timo Tolkki news

Post by ggonza43 » Mon Jun 14, 2010 7:11 pm

Reading the thread title was tempting, but after I read the first post, only one think came to my mind:
Image
|StratoFan Forever|

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