Petition for Flavio Ontivero to replace Matias as producer of Stratovarius

Here you can talk about Stratovarius and related bands. Language used is English.
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AAAAAAAAAA
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Petition for Flavio Ontivero to replace Matias as producer of Stratovarius

Post by AAAAAAAAAA » Thu Jan 28, 2021 8:28 am

Do you like massive, powerful productions? Thundering drums, blistering guitars, guttural wails on every bar? Crystal clear soundscapes and celestial choirs? Then lets stop beating around the bush with rhetorical questions and address the Argentinian elephant in the room. Its high time for Stratovarius to consider our very own Flavio Ontivero as producer-in-residence, and I will not wait a minute more!

Joe Rogan once said, the definition of insanity is repeating the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. After Polaris, Elysium, Nemesis, and Eternal, isn't it time for this failed experiment to come to an end? The old formula isn't working, folks- the band hasn't played a live gig in over a year. When you're backed into a corner, Flavio's lack of equipment, experience, and skill is not a weakness, but a strength- a chance for a fresh start. Now, don't misunderstand- Flavio need not assume full control, at least not initially. But his input is sorely needed and I am willing to put my money where my mouth is. I will fly Flavio to Helsinki and back, round trip, to make this collaboration happen. And I'll throw in a bag of pretzels and a neck pillow too.

Flavio has been producing songs for years, but he recently made the monumental artistic decision to remove his voice entirely from his productions. That act of courage has paid off in a big way. His popularity has soared to new heights, as evidenced by the scores of Facebook followers at his beck and call. Sure, an alarming number of his fans eschew the subject of music entirely and incessantly promote ingenious ways to make money working from home, but it is all too appropriate that such a shrewd and wily man like Flavio build a community with financial resources and entrepreneurial ambitions. Birds of a feather flock together.

What would my expectations be of a new Stratovarius sound with Flavio at the helm? Our motto will be: old style, new sound. And I am confident he can make it happen. Hear the conviction of his voice in his Visions Karaoke as recites the immortal words of Nostradamus. Listen closely! I can hear it now.

"There shall be heard in the air the voice of Flavio,
And in the same year mushy productions shall be enemies.
They shall justly fly him to Finland and by thunder and war,
True believers of Eternal production shall receive massive powerful punches to the testicles."

Some of you may be wondering- where exactly is the petition? Well, just by posting in this thread- in fact, just by viewing this thread, you have signed. Thank you for your support.

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robocop
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Re: Petition for Flavio Ontivero to replace Matias as producer of Stratovarius

Post by robocop » Thu Jan 28, 2021 10:58 am

Happy birthday, Pancio!! Its his birthday today. 8)

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Motha-faka
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Re: Petition for Flavio Ontivero to replace Matias as producer of Stratovarius

Post by Motha-faka » Thu Jan 28, 2021 2:43 pm

wow, you like to overdo it, huh? and then I thought that the exaggerated was Pancio because he was Italian? Ok, my grandparents and my mother are Italian and they are more exaggerated than a Benny Hill show. :roll:

I think if I can get the attention of a member of Stratovarius it would be a miracle. But hey, we see what happens :roll:

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NeverendingAbyss
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Re: Petition for Flavio Ontivero to replace Matias as producer of Stratovarius

Post by NeverendingAbyss » Thu Jan 28, 2021 4:20 pm

If I'm viewing and posting in this thread, does that mean I am signing twice? Because BABY THAT'S HOW DREAMS ARE MADE :o
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch?!

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Robocop 2.0
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Re: Petition for Flavio Ontivero to replace Matias as producer of Stratovarius

Post by Robocop 2.0 » Thu Jan 28, 2021 5:06 pm

AAAAAAAAAA wrote:
Thu Jan 28, 2021 8:28 am
Some of you may be wondering- where exactly is the petition? Well, just by posting in this thread- in fact, just by viewing this thread, you have signed. Thank you for your support.
Was about to say this might be exactly why no new forum users are activated...but then I read that viewing the thread is enough to sign.

Jokes aside, a true miracle will happen. Mr. Ontivero is going to need his very own edition of Guinness World Records book, a star on the Walk of Fame, statues all around the world... And by the way these are just the smallest examples.

The world is about to change, soon.
Temporary forum account of SatanicSmile (my own account is likely locked, can't get pass recovery email for some reason)

Thanks Robocop!

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ZenithMC
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Re: Petition for Flavio Ontivero to replace Matias as producer of Stratovarius

Post by ZenithMC » Thu Jan 28, 2021 5:39 pm

Mr. Ontivero, with his legion of black magic witches, knows no bounds. No testicles will be left unpunched in his glorious conquest for music production perfection. Muddy soundscapes, thy days are numbered.

"Flavio, Flavio! He's our man! If he can't do it, nobody can!" :luv1:

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AAAAAAAAAA
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Re: Petition for Flavio Ontivero to replace Matias as producer of Stratovarius

Post by AAAAAAAAAA » Thu Jan 28, 2021 8:35 pm

Motha-faka wrote:
Thu Jan 28, 2021 2:43 pm
wow, you like to overdo it, huh? and then I thought that the exaggerated was Pancio because he was Italian? Ok, my grandparents and my mother are Italian and they are more exaggerated than a Benny Hill show. :roll:

I think if I can get the attention of a member of Stratovarius it would be a miracle. But hey, we see what happens :roll:
The band already knows all about you, Flavio. And I can confirm that personally. :D You just need to be persistent and less modest. If you have a gift, modesty will harm not only yourself but the world. We are so proud of you. :)

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robocop
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Re: Petition for Flavio Ontivero to replace Matias as producer of Stratovarius

Post by robocop » Fri Jan 29, 2021 11:40 am

FLAVIOOOOOOOO. Now it's time to change karaokes. Do... Wham! - Wake me up before you go go.

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Ludwig Van Beethoven
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Re: Petition for Flavio Ontivero to replace Matias as producer of Stratovarius

Post by Ludwig Van Beethoven » Fri Jan 29, 2021 8:12 pm

robocop wrote:
Thu Jan 28, 2021 10:58 am
Happy birthday, Pancio!! Its his birthday today. 8)
Thanks, Robo!

Sorry for the delay but I'm trying to stay outside social medias/internet for a couple of days, I need a little rest to cum back stronger than ever 8)

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Motha-faka
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Re: Petition for Flavio Ontivero to replace Matias as producer of Stratovarius

Post by Motha-faka » Sat Jan 30, 2021 12:26 am

ZenithMC wrote:
Thu Jan 28, 2021 5:39 pm
Mr. Ontivero, with his legion of black magic witches, knows no bounds. No testicles will be left unpunched in his glorious conquest for music production perfection. Muddy soundscapes, thy days are numbered.

"Flavio, Flavio! He's our man! If he can't do it, nobody can!" :luv1:
this is a reallity, facebook have a lot strange people. you need photos? i can share.... :err:

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Motha-faka
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Re: Petition for Flavio Ontivero to replace Matias as producer of Stratovarius

Post by Motha-faka » Sat Jan 30, 2021 2:36 am

AAAAAAAAAA wrote:
Thu Jan 28, 2021 8:35 pm
Motha-faka wrote:
Thu Jan 28, 2021 2:43 pm
wow, you like to overdo it, huh? and then I thought that the exaggerated was Pancio because he was Italian? Ok, my grandparents and my mother are Italian and they are more exaggerated than a Benny Hill show. :roll:

I think if I can get the attention of a member of Stratovarius it would be a miracle. But hey, we see what happens :roll:
The band already knows all about you, Flavio. And I can confirm that personally. :D You just need to be persistent and less modest. If you have a gift, modesty will harm not only yourself but the world. We are so proud of you. :)
I hope that you are right and you are not joking. :lol:

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AAAAAAAAAA
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Re: Petition for Flavio Ontivero to replace Matias as producer of Stratovarius

Post by AAAAAAAAAA » Sat Jan 30, 2021 3:20 am

Motha-faka wrote:
Sat Jan 30, 2021 2:36 am
AAAAAAAAAA wrote:
Thu Jan 28, 2021 8:35 pm
Motha-faka wrote:
Thu Jan 28, 2021 2:43 pm
wow, you like to overdo it, huh? and then I thought that the exaggerated was Pancio because he was Italian? Ok, my grandparents and my mother are Italian and they are more exaggerated than a Benny Hill show. :roll:

I think if I can get the attention of a member of Stratovarius it would be a miracle. But hey, we see what happens :roll:
The band already knows all about you, Flavio. And I can confirm that personally. :D You just need to be persistent and less modest. If you have a gift, modesty will harm not only yourself but the world. We are so proud of you. :)
I hope that you are right and you are not joking. :lol:
No I am serious. Matias mentioned on Discord that he wanted to address your production critiques but doesn't have time (well, he said something about pandora's box). And Jens as well is aware (well, he did ban you at some point :lol:). I'm not sure about the others.

For my part, Stratovarius does not get another dime from me until I see Flavio behind the mixing desk. I hope I live to see it happen.

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