Our Problems.......Your solutions.

[Equinox]

Yes we all have problems, wheter we like it or not, and lately I've been through a lot so I just wiil express my problems here and if u have any advices I will accept it, you can express yours too, and then we're gonna become a real community......so say what u have to say!

Look here's the deal:

My parents get separate, my mother and brothers went to Providence and I stay here until my semester end.....but it's tough i really don't know what to do 'cuz he cheated on my mother and I don't want to stay with him but i got nowhere to go, i do not want him to think like I'm suporting him......but I don't want to leace NY, I don't like Providence.......I need some advice........

[SkullKrusher]

so sorry to here about that though i hope things get better soon
look man i think you should try to see what your dad's view of this is sometimes things do not work out although that's not a reason to cheat on your spouse i don't think you should abandon him he is your dad after all

[Equinox]

For him....everythings' fine..........there is no problem....but that's a lie so.....
I know i shouldn't abandon him but....it's tough, she hurt my mother, really deeply.

[Equinox]

And for the worse: ( I may sound a bit like Painless Cry but......)

I just break up with my girl, not because of problems btw us but distance, we still love each other but this big ocean and my attitude are not helping.....i'm falling apart inside, my most deep feelings are beginig to show up, i want to face my problems but i cant, damn it! I see her everywhere, in every face, wall, car, all the places brings her to my mind, I've been trying to call her....but this fucking Phone card isn't working, My discman don't want to read my strato cd, i need someone to talk to but i got nobody, the frigde is empty, I miss her like hell, and yes, thats why i create this thread to take some load off my shouldrs......I just don't know what to do to calm the beast within me, its waking up and it will consume my bones, it have already frozed my soul, and there are just a few positive thoughs i got like 4 quizes tomorrow.....and there is nobody to chat with in da MSN....I really miss her, she was my best friend, she was my all, she was my student, she was me. she was cute, she was everything to me......and now gone.....who know until when......shit.

[Equinox]

And sorry for the lenght of the last post.....it's just that....i am really mad.

[Allison]

As hard and harsh as it may be to do, you must MUST make sure that you let your father know EXACTLY how you feel about this whole deal. Be very frank and direct - don't candy coat it. This affects you too and it obviously makes you uncomfortable and you need to express those feelings - not keep them in. Your father has to be penalised for what he has done and that will come in the form of realising how he has shamed and disappointed you. Then he can deal with those feelings for the rest of his life - and don't feel sorry for him because he created this problem through his own conscious selfish choices - but no way should YOU have to bear the grief for your father's shortcomings. I am sorry that this has happened to you and that you have become the passive victim of a dysfunctional marriage.

I have been watching my beloved nieces go through this same brand of shit for the past 5 years and I see what it has done to them and that is why I offer you the advice I did. Until my eldest niece decided to stand up to her father and tell him how she felt, she had become very depressed and withdrawn, had zero self-esteem.

I for one do not mind at all that you express your problem here - but as far as hearing it from people who are divorced parents themselves, I could care less about them for they make their own bad choices and it shouldn't be made into other peoples' problem. It is good that you are "talking" about this instead of letting it eat you up, Equinox.

[So Death May Die]

I'm going to agree with Allison. I don't know how old you are, but the best bet would be to lay it all out for you dad so that he knows exactly how you feel. I know how hard that will be for you... but it's the best way to get your life going in the right direction despite your parents' problems. If they were good parents they'd find some way to stay friends in order to be fair to you and your siblings, but apparently they're more selfish and embittered than that.

I also know how it feels to lose the one you love more than anything in the world... I'm sending my best wishes and love your way. I hope you will soon find peace of mind. *hugs*

[Equinox]

I have....he knows how i feel.....but if there is someone with iced feelings, thats him.

[So Death May Die]

I have....he knows how i feel.....but if there is someone with iced feelings, thats him.

Sounds rather f***ed up of him to be the bitter one after HE cheated.

[Equinox]

He, he, he.....Ummmmmmmmm yeah....ha, ha

[gon]

And sorry for the lenght of the last post.....it's just that....i am really mad.

It´s not a help for the solution of the problem, but sometimes we feel better when we talk about our problems with someone.

I am also a child of divorced parents, so.... what could I say? I understand really well what you feel now as I felt really bad years ago.... You will need time to put your ideas in order, but, think always that the contract between your parents has expired, but not the one within you and each of them....

[MAJINDIEGO]

i don´t know...it´s a tough decision, but i think you should take no sides. After all, he´s your dad. The confusion is between him and your mother, and i guess you should let it be where it is, you know. They´re big enough to solve their own problems. Of course you can say that either one or the other did something wrong, but just leave it as a personal opinion. Don´t be afraid to live with your dad. He can do a lot of shit, but he´s still your dad.
We all know that the problem of divorce when you have kids is the fear of them thinking they somewhat have a fault.
And you´re grown up enough to know you had nothing to do with that episode.
So, i know it is tough not to involve yourself in this matter, and maybe i´m talking bullshit, but i believe you shouldn´t take sides.

That happened in my family, and me and my brothers decided not to be part of it. My sister on the other hand, got involved, and a lot of tears and anger were mixed. Anyway, good luck

[Equinox]

Yeah, thats what i try to do, but look we're 3 brothers, and the only one involved in this shit is me, why? 'cuz i'm the only one with enough guts to take cards on the game.
Why? My sis is to in her little world to know whats happen, tough she's 23, and my bro. is so calm to stand and face him, and my mother......she's like a little child trapped in a grown up. She doesn't know how to take decisions, she doens't know how to live. And for those reason she always have guide us (my brosthers and me) to a fucking hole, with no light in it. so i hafta to stand and face them both.