Most nicest poster

[GAGAGO]

:crazy1: :crazy1:

[Stratowarius]

Oh, dear, oh dear! Sorry Gagago and forgive me! I realize that I have offended you, and I promise to never do things like that. Again! To help myself and others, I will here write down, the earlier not published forumcommandments.


1.You shall respect other forumits and take the bad with the good. Don't ask anyone to fuck off too often.

2.You shall not try to change Neas or others avatar, even if you find it uglier than ugliest.

3. You shall try to see the goodness in every forumits post, even in the strange repetitive 23 ones.

4. Your language shall be clear and precise and do not make something worse, by beating the bush.

5. Think before you write. Sit on your hands, if you are angry, and do not verbally kill other members, before you have counted to ten.

6. Thou shall create a clear, compelling vision and not mumble in your figurative beard.

7. You shall not celebrate victory or stroke yourself on the back, too often. Next time you are maybe not on top.

8. You shall trust other forumers, but not too much and not all the 23 statements.

9. You shall remain positive and convey a positive attitude throughout your visit on the forum, even if someone calls you a baker and you can't bake a simple bun. At all!

10. Above all, be honest to yourself and others. Be happy over this great forum and contribute as best as you can...

[GAGAGO]

Read your PM! My anger was only for fun.

[AAAAAAAAAA]

Read your PM! My anger was only for fun.

Don't you mean OUR anger? Because it was NOT meant in fun and was as intense as a loaded pistola. :pissed3:

[Stratowarius]

I am not angry anymore! For sure! And I don't know if I ever was.

[Stratowarius]

Seattle Times.

A Seattle-institution goes to it's grave!

by Gary Newman


The one and only health-bakery-institution in Seattle is closing down for good, and it means a big imposition for our health-care. The Moss-muffins-bakery, on Pike Place Market, is no more, and the baker is moving to Leeds in England, where he will launch an English-muffin-bakery.

"I had no choice", says the baker, with a tear in the corner of his left eye, "It became immossible to get enough of this very special M-Moss that grows only on Mount Baker. The wild German goatpopulation was suddenly very big and they ate and they ate, just the M-Moss. Then there was an unexplained thunder-storm and an exolosion that took away both the goats and all the Moss.

I have tried Fox-moss and Wolf-moss but they will not do, since they have no M-vitamin. At all! And taste Urk! So better stop, when one is at the American top. With the Moss I mean, of course. "

Dr Gary Moster on Swedish Hospital confirmes, that the Moss-bakery-closing is an enormous loss for Seattle.

"Those muffins were the most exceptional health-middle you could find. First the unic vitamin M for finger-hair and then the yumyum-fibres. Seattle will not be the same now and we have to double our hospital-capacity. It is really a very sad and bad day for our town and we will all miss our dear Moss-muffin-baker. But we wish him a grand future there in Leeds and with his English muffins.

[AAAAAAAAAA]

Seattle Times.

Constipation Epidemic Strikes the Emerald City
by Gary Newman


A constipation epidemic is sweeping the pacific northwest as residents find themselves utterly unable to empty their bowels. Sorely lacking the in the essential phytonutrients and insoluble fiber that the city's archetypal mossmuffins provided them for many years from the convenient location of the brown box near the Spaceneedle, ten minutes from icecar, residents of the city find themselves chewing bark in confused panic, in desperation to obtain the nutrients they need.

Left and right, trees are stripped of their outer coating, reducing the once beautiful city near Mount Baker to a banal wasteland as residents chew them indiscriminately. Panic has swept the city, and only the lucky few who have cartons of fishliveroil and flaxseeds are able to clear their digestive pathways. Its looking bad out there....very, very bad...

[Stratowarius]

A little song to the moss-muffin-baker before he leaves Seattle.


Mosstoday, oh I wish I had some mosstoday,
I can't make a single shit to go away,
How I wish for mosstoday.

Suddenly I have to sit in loo all day,
But nothing happens there, the right way,
And some moss would be more than okey,

Why the baker had to go,
I don't know, he didn't say,
But some goat took all his moss away,
So I now pine for moss today.

Mossmuffins were easy to love,
They had it all and gave me flow,
How I long for moss, to do some show.

Why the baker had to go,
I don't know, he didn't say,
But someone ate his moss,
And that I hate today.

Mosstoday, oh I wish I had some moss today,
How I long for moss today, moss todayyyy...

[AGAG]

This thread feels like a very schizophrenic hymn to Pessoa.

Is this Pessoa based? I must know.

[Stratowarius]

No, no Portoguese poetry today, no!

Seattle Times.

Breaking news. Breaking news.


The constipation-epedemic has got disastrous impacts.

by Gary Newman.

Yesterday I reported about the big digesting problems, the muffin-eaters got, after the bakery-closing, but today I have to admit that this was only the top of an iceberg. The mossmuffins were not only laxative they were also narcotic and people were very addicted to, what we called vitamine M and now recognize as a very strong relative to heroin and nicotine, HINI. This substance can also be found, in small amounts, in fur and birk-bark.

The addicted soon discovered the bark and ran to the woods for supplies. They chewed it in big chunks and the laxative effect was, for some unknown reason, very fast and dramatic. Often there was no time for removing the trousers, so the poor individuals jumped around as delirious, trouserless, heavy-laughing, shitters. The first days mostly in the woods, that soon were impossible to walk in. But soon some drug-dealer-gangsta discovered the profitable bark and established a bark-consortium.

The result is catastrophic for our city. Shit, shit everywhere and the Waste Management is not adapted to this and the police claims that it is not their business to hunt and arrest shitting bark-chewers.

Chief of police Gary Prissly says,"I have never in my life seen something like this. The forrests are dying and our streets are now coated with shit and shitty trousers and underwears. We have no capacity to take care of this and we must call in the National Guard with watercannons. Our governor Gary Potter is taking some steps just now".

So let us hope that Potter can get the Presidents ear. It is soon electiondays and Obama has to show, that he can deal, even with a "shitproblem" like this.

[AGAG]

But, butt...

[AAAAAAAAAA]

Seattle Times.

Breaking news.

Huddled masses of desperate constipated civilians plunge deeper and deeper into the Washington wilderness to strip the few available trees of their bark and kickstart their digestive system. As anarchy descends on the normally tranquil region, those with the strongest axes make the rules and those with the biggest pistolas call the shots (jaja). Here we present an exclusive interview with Freckle, who describes the latest developments.

Seattle Times: Good to have you here Freckle. I understand there is a serious pandemic spreading like wildfire. The citizens of this great state simply cannot poop. What are the symptoms that you have observed?

Freckle: After two minutes there was some disturbance and jumping about. The stomach reacted violently and turned inside out. Urk urk.

Seattle Times: I see. In only two minutes (!!!) the stomach turns inside out and cries "urk urk". That is truly disturbing. Is it difficult for you to see so much suffering?

Freckle: Tears are falling from my fucking eyes, when I think of your environmentcrime and don't try to hide behind Wilhelm...

ST: Wilhelm? Who is Wilhelm and what is his role in this?

Freckle: Everything is that Salvador-poets fault. He started with commas, after every word and never used points, that he called dust-specks.

ST: HUH! Are you insinuating, implying, or otherwise suggesting, that a poet from El Salvador named Wilhelm created this mass constipation by refraining from the use of commas, periods, semicolons, and other crucial constructs of the English language?

Freckle: You are not only a talented poet, you are a genius as well.

ST: Freckle, we are on live national TV and I don't appreciate your sarcasm here. But if you insist I will...err...try to be less poetic during this interview process.

Freckle: Yes dear, I hope it is a good and practical one this time,and not so poetical as it uses to be...

ST: Well, you got it chief...

(To be continued)

[Stratowarius]

SEATTLE SPECTACULAR.

Salvadorean poet blames for shitdisaster.

by Gary Huhman.


Seattle Times accused in their news-channel 12, yesterday, a Salvadorish (?) young talented poet to have caused all our shithassles. A freckled Swedish girl claimed, that this poet avoids to put all forms of points in his poems, and instead uses commas all the time.

With that behaviour, he annoyed and irritated some Aliens, that had placed German goats on Mount Baker and then exoloded them all, and with that also ruined the M-moss. All because they hated the commas and would like to show their anger in a dramatic action.

We have talked to the poet, that says, " I am not sure it was like that, and I think that my friend, the freckled girl, only wished to help me get some attention for my books "Greenbird one and two". But yes, I don't use points, that I call "dustspecks" because I am allergic to dust. (Much allergics here ) I can't even see them in prints, since they give me red spots all over. "

Whatever the truth may be here, we have also talked to the eminent baker himself and he has great hopes for a fast solution of our shit-problem.

"After all my fucking tears, I can at last see a big light in the shittunnel. This Swedish, freckled girl, that actually is called Freckle, and a dear friend to me, gave me a marvellous gift", says the baker, with a big smile.

"She told me, that the Swedish government has sent me two tons moss, that arrives today. This special moss is very common in Sweden and is called Bearmoss. It has exactly the same chemical structure as our M-moss, with vitamine M (HINI) and it tastes even more yumyum.

Freckle will help me with my first bake in exchange for my secret recipe, that I must admit, she deserves. So I am really on the top. Again! On the American top! God bless America and Swedish moss!" says the happy baker and jumps about.

So the end is blessed and in our beautiful Emerald-city we can breath freely again, after the National Guard has relieved all our streets from the disgusting fur-bark-shit. So God bless the National Guard too, and of course the freckled girl that gave us the Bear-moss.

[Southern_Stratofan]

browneyedgirl got my vote.

She's always happy to talk about stuff with me in a nice, constructive manner A rare thing in my collective forum experience.

[NeonVomit]

browneyedgirl got my vote.

She's always happy to talk about stuff with me in a nice, constructive manner A rare thing in my collective forum experience.

Well, because this forum thinks it's good sport. Because some forums aren't looking for anything logical, like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned, or negotiated with. Some forums just want to watch the world burn.

[Southern_Stratofan]

Im not accustomed to being accepted in a social group of any kind.

As bizarre as Stratoforums can be, I feel at home to a degree.

Im not interested in negative outcomes/views on the world. I dont want to see it burn, I want to see life & humanity flourish in the glory of the universe.

(sorry if that sounded too dramatic)

[NeonVomit]

Im not accustomed to being accepted in a social group of any kind.

As bizarre as Stratoforums can be, I feel at home to a degree.

Im not interested in negative outcomes/views on the world. I dont want to see it burn, I want to see life & humanity flourish in the glory of the universe.

(sorry if that sounded too dramatic)

You haven't run away screaming yet and tried to format your computer, and it doesn't seem like you need therapy thus far, so you probably do fit in here!

[AAAAAAAAAA]

SEATTLE TIMES

Freckle enters moss-baking industry
by Gary HUHman

Freckle, who through her valient efforts restored the digestive systems of an entire city, is now competing neck and neck with the muffinbaker in the baked moss-products industry. Freckle, whose signature product is the hircine croissant (guaranteed to reek of goat or your money back), has carved away a significant portion of the eastside market-share and is rapidly taking control of the market while the formerly gay, but now questioning baker helplessly watches his once great empire collapse. Says the muffinbaker, "Yeah its looking bad out there for me. Who knew there was such a demand for goat products? I have no choice...next week I plan to unveil my latest creation. The tzaziki muffin! I will pull the rug from under freckle, in a manner that will make her fall crashing down on the floor- causing discomfort or possibly injury! HAHA! Wait and see, friends..."

Who will end up on top in this debacle? It remains to seen. Its any man's game. But the important thing is that the citizens of this great town can poop with relative ease and comfort. And thus, we are all winners although our feces smell of goat. Reporting live from Kabab Palace, I'm gary HUHman. Over and out.

[AAAAAAAAAA]

browneyedgirl got my vote.

She's always happy to talk about stuff with me in a nice, constructive manner A rare thing in my collective forum experience.

Yeah, we stopped discussing that on page 3. What do you think about Vitamin M? And Mossmuffins? And hirsuit hairwolves with hairy hircine fingers? And the mysterious buttstrokers who lurk on the Eurostar?

Express yourself in verse for extra credit!

[Stratowarius]

HIHI!

SEATTLE TIMES

Swedish girl at the top!

By Gary Huhman.


As you can see, I Gary Huhman, have now moved my news-desk to TIMES, after I was fuckfired from SPECTACULAR. But don't you worry, the salary is higher here.

Today I will give you the successtory about an unknown girl, Freckle Öhubble, that has laid all Seattle under her Swedish feet, after she "restored the digestive system for all of us", (quote myself here ), with her great Bear-moss, and in return got the bakers recipe for Moss-muffins.

With her Swedish touch, she makes those muffins even more nomnomnom and together with the Hircine-Croissants,that taste more sheep than goat, she also bakes some special Swedish-Sin-Muffins. The ingredients are very hush-hush, but incredibly afrodical. I have tasted them, but think I ate too many, and that gave a very peculiar effect. HUhU!

"This is a typical Swedish muffin", says Freckle. At home it is baked in secret bakeries, but I have succeeded in the simplification of the complex dough. The result is both effective and nomnomish. The important ingredient is an herb, Datura Stramonium, the base for Viagra, that is very poisonous, but I think I have found the right balance".

"Oh, I tried them yesterday and I must admit that I had some problems. Oh, not Swedish-sin-problems, no, no, on the contrary. I couldnt stop if you know what I mean...

"So sorry, Gary, you should have read the warning on the package. Only one muffin per day and maybe two on Saturdays...

"Oh, I understand, but they were really nomnomish...

"Ja, they sell like hell and that will be our slogan. The problem I maybe can get, is that they will be too popular, and that the American Health-department will put them under restrictions and only doctors can prescribe them. But can such an encroachment be allowed in the American constitution? Or? What? No? Yes? Maybe?

[Stratowarius]

New chat. Huh!

Pekka: Strutt, Strutt! Something terrible has happened here, and you must report to the president immediately! We have to call a meeting!

Strutt: Huh! What is up Pekka?. You sound really agitated...

P: Listen, listen! You know about the eggs I found on Granada and hatched here. The two boys in them were some clones to Gagago, and we were both very surprised, when we got their DNA.They had the same as Gagago and now we have discovered that they only have 23 Y-kromozones. His and only his.

Str: Huh! Which means?

P: Ja, here is the scary thing. They can not be human! And they can not be Excessians either!

Str:Huh! So what are they?

P: Ja, that is the question! What are they? They have grown ultrafast and are now full Gagagos. Can you imagen? I tried sushi on them and they loved it. So no allergy there! They also like raw goatmeat (nr6754) and they behave very atypical for anything I know of. Gagago and I are very worried and don't know what to hell we shall do. He has told me that there often are big eggs on Granada and that they are warned not to mess with them.

Str: Huh! Gosh! I thought he made them in some way?

P. Of course not! It was only a joke! I found them close to the volcano and took them home. I had no idea of what was in them, and hoped for dinosauruses.

Str: Huh! It had been preferable hadn't it?

P: Ja,ja of course! But if those islands are the breeding-place for another type of aliens, we must do something...

Str: Huh! But what, Pekka, what? There are clones everywhere nowadays. Think of China only! Do you think that all chinamen are scary aliens? HUH!

P: Yes maybe. You must call the president. NOW! I am really scared from my senses Strutt. Aliens! Clones!HUH!

[Stratowarius]

Chat! Again!

P: Strutt, Strutt! Breaking news! Our clones are dead. I got order from the President, to feed them with Chinese fox-moss-muffins and they got some strange pants-bumps and died. It was really scary!

Str: Yes I heard that they hadn't all the horses home down there, and because of the missing X-chromosomes, they were easy to kill with pants-mumps.

P: What? I had no idea. Noone tells me anything here at the border. I only get order. Border-order!

Str: So I can tell you, that clones now die all over the earth. The President has in a decree to all Excessians said that we should give China-muffins almost gratis everywhere, and that this is the final solution of the clone-threat.

P: So we are saved for this time?

Str: Yes for now. But we have to be alert. Those Nornans have probably not given up their plans, so you must out there Pekka and look for Easter-eggs.

P: Huh! Yes, I am beaming to Granada today and start there. Freckle, Gagago and the Poet are already there and I pine to see them.

[GAGAGO]

How quiet it is here. Please mr Tolkki go out and make someone pregnant again. Someone-male or female- after your own choice of course. So we have something to write about.

[Stratowarius]

There once was a Moss-Cake-Faker,

That cheated as a Potens-Muffin-Baker,

But something went wrong,

The Micros grew big, but HUH not oblong,

And nearly sent the President to his maker...

[AAAAAAAAAA]

A freckled girl that I knew,
Would steal rhymes, right out of the blue!
When they did not suffice,
She hardly thought twice,
And stole my recipes too.

[Stratowarius]

A baker I used to know,
Took all his rhymes from the blue,
They did sometimes suffice,
Even if he seldom thought twice,
So I used them again and let them grow...
Huh...


Stole recipes?, said Freckle, with a PFFFFF,
No, but I didn't like your PUFFFF-PUFFFF,
Since you GAVE me the muffin-recipe,
But missed the Non-Poison-Guarantee,
When you faked my delicious sin-MUFFFF...

[AAAAAAAAAA]

I admit I do not take kindly to your thievery. Butt, when I read your latest "work', in which you attempted to rhyme "PFFFF, PUFFF", and "MUFFFF"...well, perhaps I could look the other way on your "borrowing". You know, as long as you give the rhymes back when you're done, its not THAT bad...

[Stratowarius]

HUUUU!

The baker takes not kindly the thievery,
But when he read my latest mastery,
He said puff,puff,puff,
She is really a Fluff,
And I think she can suit my poem-creamery.



If my rhymes are not enough gruff-duff,
For you, you grumpy muff-gluff-gluff,
I will stick them down your throat,
Or up in your brain-snout,
So your soul can feel they are Nobel-Prize-Stuff..




Ha and Pfff and Ha. Again!

[Stratowarius]

New chat

Pekka: Strutt, Strutt, I must tell you, that the problem with the other aliens-not allergic to sushi, isn't solved. At all!

Strutt: Huh I thought all the clones were Fox-moss-dead.

P:Ja, those who ate moss have disappeared and I think that they were beamed to Norna, since the two I had here just flew away, without any trace. And otherwise there should have been some mass-funerals and I haven't heard anything about that.

S: So where are you now, Pekka, and what is the problem?

P: I am on Granada and we are picking up Easter-clone-eggs. But half of them are Kinder-eggs!

S: And what problem can that be?

P: There are yellow plastic-ducks, in those eggs!

S: And so what?

P: But, but, those ducks are angry. And they hack!

S: Hack?? Plastic kinder-egg-ducks hack?

P: Yes! They are evil!

S:Pekka, Pekka! So, they are evil and hack?

P: Yes, they do!

S: Pekka I am a little busy, just now. Can we talk again later on?

P: But, but, you must tell the president, that the ducks hack and that they are a threat.

S: Ja ja, Pekka, I will, I will...

[AAAAAAAAAA]

Do the ducks make a hacking sound instead of a quack?
Or do they hack in the sense that they penetrate sophisticated network systems, compromising the security of millions?

Because either of those notions brings terror to my heart....HUH! :nervous: