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As my new job, alcoholism and the heat* all conspire to send me tumbling further down the slippery slope into insanity, I have started to find myself developing a borderline-unhealthy fascination with North Korea (also known as The Best Korea).

*Back home in Cyprus for the duration of the work, no I can't be bothered to change my location.

It is the happiest nation on earth, populated by well-fed and industrious people, under the guidance of the greatest statesman, human and deity ever to exist, The Great Leader, Kim il-Sung. He leads the nation with courage and integrity, he loves his people like his own children, and he created the heavens and the ea... wait, that sounds kind of familiar...

(Well, fine we're sorta leaving by the side the fact that about 3 million people died of starvation in the famine of the 90's, there's usually no electricity, people get 15 days' rations per month while the country pursues a nuclear weapons program and something like 5% of the entire population is in Re-education Camps. Oh, and Kim il-Sung is dead but still technically president. But hey, nobody's perfect, right?)

So, I have taken my spare time which would probably be better spent on the beach or interacting with people and used it on learning more about our Asian comrades, and I intend to share my learnings to inform the uninformed about The Best Korea!

And my, what interesting things I have learned!

Conditions in a re-education institution where the... misguided comrades are gently shown the error of their ways and brought to the path of righteousness.

This series is astonishing. As most of you who bother to read my inane ramblings know, I have no religious beliefs, but the bit where they're racing to take the North Korean defector to the safety of the UNHCR office in Bangkok, and the Christian activist is praying for protection from the N Korean agents made my hair stand on end. It warmed my cold, dead little atheist heart to see the church involved in helping people do something so risky and selfless.

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The defector would film scenes of everyday life in N Korea and smuggle the tapes into China, which amounts to treason and a horrible death. Public executions, homeless orphaned children stealing to survive, people dropping dead in the middle of the street just left there. The really amazing thing? He went back to carry on filming in secret, to show the world what is going on. Now that, folks, is what we call courage.

I saw another documentary which name escapes me for the moment, because Google is open in another tab I can't be bothered to click on it. It'll come up if you search for 'North Korea Documentary' or something. Anyway, an 'elite' family lives in a reasonably comfortable apartment in the capital. In the kitchen there is a radio which plays constantly and is fixed to receive only the state radio channel. You can adjust the volume, but cannot turn it off.

It's like someone read 1984 by George Orwell and said 'Hey, this is a great idea!' and implemented everything they read.

Anyway, recently N Korea sank an S Korean navy ship, has nuclear weapons and the 4th largest army in the world, while people will steal shit to sell in order to make some money. Literally, that wasn't hyperbole. No, really, it's true.

Meanwhile in South Korea, people are treated for internet addiction, kill each other over WoW magic items and Starcraft tournaments are blamed for mass sleep deprivation.

So, of course North Korea is the best place to go for your holidays!

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And while you're there, have some Pyongyang Pride, the truly Revolutionary beer for true Revolutionaries.

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And before you go, it's good to acquaint yourself with some of the fine cinema that The Best Korea is famed for:

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North Korea is the best and most advanced country. No other country can beat North Korea. North Korea leads all others in the fields of magnificence, deep joy and successfulness.

I read an interview with Christopher Hitchens about how he went to North Korea. He had to lie to get there because he couldn't say who he really was. He said the best kind of meal they had for the tourists was DOG MEAT.


Here's another documentary, I don't know if you checked it out yet.

http://www.vbs.tv/newsroom/vice-guide-t ... ea-1-of-14


For you fans of that soccer futbal football:

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Don't forget North Korea has a curfew where they have to be inside and have the lights out. If you look on a map of the world at night (with all the light pollution) North Korea is totally blacked out.

This is gut wretching, those documentaries are revealing. Humans are crazy animals...

I heard that they edited the Brazil-PRK match, but I would never have thought of that!

North Korean cheesecake.



About as sexy as is permitted!



South Korean girls. What a difference a border makes!

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Furthermore; I just recently rewatched these two amazing S-Korean-made films about Best Korea-Worst Korea relations and I feel the need to promote them to everyone who's interested:

JSA: Joint Security Area
Taegukgi: The Brotherhood Of War

browneyedgirl wrote: South Korean girls. What a difference a border makes!

Yes, amazing the effect that a lack of torture and a diet not composed of primarily of tree bark can have!

Kim Jong-il's last birthday was celebrated over here by the local Juche society. The word 'cult' is much more fitting than 'political organization'.

Unfortunately I haven't found this one amongst any of the millions of books in this town. It's a collection of interviews with North Korean refugees. For some it is too much to see beyond the lies and propaganda, people simply lose their will to live. Morbidly fascinating and completely heartbreaking.

NeonVomit wrote:

browneyedgirl wrote: South Korean girls. What a difference a border makes!

Yes, amazing the effect that a lack of torture and a diet not composed of primarily of tree bark can have!

That's racist! You just prefer the South Koreans because they've had their slits operated.

Great, you just made me notice a stupid typo in that post and now I can't edit it.

In The Best Korea, you'd have the opportunity to be re-educated and improved so as not to repeat such an error, but sadly I believe this 'Finland' of yours is not so advanced.

Carcass wrote:Kim Jong-il's last birthday was celebrated over here by the local Juche society. The word 'cult' is much more fitting than 'political organization'.

Holy crap, you have a Juche society there?? Is it primarily made up of Korean expatriates or... like... do people actually buy into this in the outside world??

Unfortunately I haven't found this one amongst any of the millions of books in this town. It's a collection of interviews with North Korean refugees. For some it is too much to see beyond the lies and propaganda, people simply lose their will to live. Morbidly fascinating and completely heartbreaking.

I'll have a look for it when I'm back in London. I'm gonna hit up a local bookstore here as well in a virtually pointless effort to get my hands on some literature, but one never knows...

Watched this documentary last night.

A British journalist goes on an official tour of the country and is presented with the carefully choreographed facade, and the story of his visit is interspersed with footage from the impoverished countryside smuggled out by the same guy in the first video I posted. Really chilling.

NeonVomit wrote:Great, you just made me notice a stupid typo in that post and now I can't edit it.

I can edit the quote in my post à la 1984, if it makes you happy.

Carcass wrote:I can edit the quote in my post à la 1984, if it makes you happy.

Indeed. We have always been at war with Eurasia.

What the hell.. I can't edit the offending post WHAT IS GOING ON HERE I THINK THEY'RE ONTO US

NeonVomit wrote:

Carcass wrote:Kim Jong-il's last birthday was celebrated over here by the local Juche society. The word 'cult' is much more fitting than 'political organization'.

Holy crap, you have a Juche society there?? Is it primarily made up of Korean expatriates or... like... do people actually buy into this in the outside world??

I think it's made up of Finns only. Here's a photo of a lecture in honour of Kim Il-sung's memory. Yup, ten people...

Well, looks like the guy in the front row needs to improve his Socialist Lifestyle!

Edit: what the hell?

In April 2010, the first tourist trains from China brought visitors from Zhejiang, Heilongjiang, Guangdong, and other provinces, as well as Finnish people living in China.

Is there something Finland isn't telling the world?

Carcass wrote:Unfortunately I haven't found this one amongst any of the millions of books in this town. It's a collection of interviews with North Korean refugees.

Pardon my scepticism, but we all know how insanely biased Americans are towards communism. This is not to say that North Korea is in fact a utopian paradise, but I wouldn't really trust American authors. I read "Hungry Ghosts: Mao's Secret Famine" by Jasper Becker, a biased account not only of how much China sucked under Mao but also of how awesome America is. He also wrote "Rogue Regime: Kim Jong Il and the Looming Threat of North Korea".

@ Carcass: Here's your book: http://www.mediafire.com/?y35h4zmmmhn

I'm hoping this one is a book about people and their stories, not politics.

Thanks for the tip, but I hate reading from the screen and I just found out that one of the universities in my town is going to get that book soon.

Stealth wrote:

Carcass wrote:Unfortunately I haven't found this one amongst any of the millions of books in this town. It's a collection of interviews with North Korean refugees.

Pardon my scepticism, but we all know how insanely biased Americans are towards communism. This is not to say that North Korea is in fact a utopian paradise, but I wouldn't really trust American authors. I read "Hungry Ghosts: Mao's Secret Famine" by Jasper Becker, a biased account not only of how much China sucked under Mao but also of how awesome America is. He also wrote "Rogue Regime: Kim Jong Il and the Looming Threat of North Korea".

Yeah but the situation in N Korea is way beyond communism. I mean, there isn't really a name for it anymore. It's gone past 'political system' into 'OrwellsNightmareLand'. It's exactly what Becker calls it: a rogue state that is basically using nuclear weapons as the carrot and stick to get the food aid it needs. Bearing that in mind, from what we've seen in the documentaries, the people themselves don't seem to get much of it: most apparently goes to the military and party members. Aid agencies estimate something like 60% of children are malnourished despite N Korea receiving more food aid per head than any other country.

All this means that writing a book along the lines of 'Communism Bad! hurr durr' is sort of made redundant. Even other nominally 'Communist' or socialist states find the country creepy as hell, and China doesn't even know what the hell to do about them. The Chinese hate to admit it, but North Korea's really got them between a rock and a hard place.

Is there something of a concerted anti-North Korea thing going on? Perhaps, but what little information we get out of there sure is pretty messed up and anyone on a state-sanctioned visit can apparently tell that something is seriously wrong in that place.

you know whats crap??¿¿when you live in south america and your president tries to sell you this mother fucker politic philosophy........

adrian9 wrote:you know whats crap??¿¿when you live in south america and your president tries to sell you this mother fucker politic philosophy........

But at least most of you eat something better than tortillas with vaginasand

adrian9 wrote:you know whats crap??¿¿when you live in south america and your president tries to sell you this mother fucker politic philosophy........

At least you can, y'know, go online to complain about it. And won't get killed if you try to leave the country.

adrian9 wrote:
you know whats crap??¿¿when you live in south america and your president tries to sell you this mother fucker politic philosophy........ Mad



At least you can, y'know, go online to complain about it. And won't get killed if you try to leave the country.

and that is good enough? here in venezuela, there are certain places where you cant even talk about politcs, or I may say, Goverment politics.....I just want to say that everything with the word comunism , soliacism and bullshit like that SUCKS MONKEY ASS!!! and had put several countries to the ruin, created hate and more division in our already much divided earth.

north korea is the WORST example of all the shit a expired philosophy can do to a nation, from people dying of starving , to ETERNAL PRESIDENTS, yes!! north koreas has the only eternal president doing stupid laws for the ashes i guess, and I have read a ton of stuff about
north korea, since the mother fucker president of that nation does bussines with the president of my nation.

GOOD NEWS??? sadam hussein was also a good friend of the president of venezuela, and was find in a hole like the coward he was, and put to the gallows pole, there is hope then.

believe me, I respect and promote freedom of speech but you cant take chances with this bastards, the should be erradicated for good. they dont do anything right for good sakes

Trust me, I'm half Colombian. I have plenty of reasons to despise Chavez, and I'm not surprised for a second that he deals with N Korea.

Anyhow, new sanctions enacted against N Korea on things like cigarettes and booze. The 'We didn't do it' routine is apparently not convincing anyone. What I find funny is how they're saying sanctions and military exercises in the area 'make it more dangerous' (overlooking the fact that things will only be dangerous if they MAKE them dangerous) and that sanctions 'violate a UN statement made about the sinking' (because N Korea always adheres to what the UN says).

The Chinese have muttered something about 'increasing tensions is bad' but they're not bitching nearly as much as I was expecting them to. They're probably more tired of this crap than anyone else.

Probably the best thing that could be done would be for China to invade and occupy N Korea. Say what you will about them, but they're certainly far less insane than the N Korean leadership and it would be better for them to clean up that mess than the US/Japan, plus the local population would probably be a lot more tolerant of a Chinese occupation than a US-led one. It also solves China's concerns about millions of refugees streaming across their border.

A Chinese puppet-state is far preferable to the nuclear-armed headless chicken we've got now.

I think China, the US/Japan that you mention are like outsiders of the problems of N korea and of course if the dont have an economic reason to go and make N korea goverment dust, they will NOT do it, remeber folks, WAR is all about getting richer and stronger, isnt truth mr bush?¿ haha

the main thing is that South Korea an already stable nation and economy has to carry on with the weight of their neighbors (wich happens to be his brother) S korea not only is the first (and i think the only) suppiler of good and food that N korea doesnt produce, is also the first target of N korea, they hate S korea for being capitalists and all the crap we heard before, they have gone to war before, the bilateral relationships goes from warm to ice cold and the shit goes on and on.

two possibles scenarios.
1) FINALLY N. korea falls in bankrupt , the population dies of starving and goes bersek to kill the goverment and recover their dignity and democracy.

2) N. Korea finally does the unthinkable and attack S .korea with nuclear weapons or chemicals weapons and this time the UN takes action , a lot of people die, and in the end we are back to where we started.

my opinion.

adrian9 wrote:I think China, the US/Japan that you mention are like outsiders of the problems of N korea and of course if the dont have an economic reason to go and make N korea goverment dust, they will NOT do it, remeber folks, WAR is all about getting richer and stronger, isnt truth mr bush?¿ haha

Not really. The US maybe, but Japan has been threatened by long-range missiles and had several citizens kidnapped, China shares a border with Korea so whatever happens there is in their interest as well. Japan has security concerns, but you can say China has an economic reason: if the regime collapses, they'll have 20 million starving refugees flooding across their border.

the main thing is that South Korea an already stable nation and economy has to carry on with the weight of their neighbors (wich happens to be his brother) S korea not only is the first (and i think the only) suppiler of good and food that N korea doesnt produce, is also the first target of N korea, they hate S korea for being capitalists and all the crap we heard before, they have gone to war before, the bilateral relationships goes from warm to ice cold and the shit goes on and on.

The US, China and Japan also all give a lot of food aid to N Korea. Of course this doesn't mean the population is any less starving. In one of the documentaries I posted, the dude with the secret camera filmed sacks of corn labelled 'A gift from the USA' being sold in a market for Party members (of course, the exact opposite of what was intended by the donors.)

two possibles scenarios.
1) FINALLY N. korea falls in bankrupt , the population dies of starving and goes bersek to kill the goverment and recover their dignity and democracy.

We're already past the point of people dying of hunger and the regime being bankrupt, but because the population is starving, it's too weak to rebel - they're too busy trying to survive from one day to the next. The people are weak and starving, and the military is strong. This, of course, is entirely intentional.

2) N. Korea finally does the unthinkable and attack S .korea with nuclear weapons or chemicals weapons and this time the UN takes action , a lot of people die, and in the end we are back to where we started.

my opinion.

If N Korea attacks anyone with nuclear weapons, it will be the end of N Korea. Millions will die, yes... and we won't be back where we started. It's basically too awful to contemplate

Not really. The US maybe, but Japan has been threatened by long-range missiles and had several citizens kidnapped, China shares a border with Korea so whatever happens there is in their interest as well. Japan has security concerns, but you can say China has an economic reason: if the regime collapses, they'll have 20 million starving refugees flooding across their border.

I can see your point here, but when I mean for economic reasons is about what other countries will have in exachange of a war, Like when the Us went to irak and destroyed the country, the also get to build it again for a nice check. they of course take action!! that is what I think nobody does anything for N korea, they dont see any bussiness in that country

The US, China and Japan also all give a lot of food aid to N Korea. Of course this doesn't mean the population is any less starving. In one of the documentaries I posted, the dude with the secret camera filmed sacks of corn labelled 'A gift from the USA' being sold in a market for Party members (of course, the exact opposite of what was intended by the donors.)

I tottally Agree with that, N.Korea gets a Lot of help for many many countries, but since they are in such a far away place, and this help came in ships most of the time, the nearest guys to help are always south korea.

If N Korea attacks anyone with nuclear weapons, it will be the end of N Korea. Millions will die, yes... and we won't be back where we started. It's basically too awful to contemplate Confused

I want to ask you this....whatever happens, war or not, nuclear weapons or not, do you really think N korea and S Korea will unite some day?? that is what I say "back to where we strated" in my opinon whatever happens tomorrow this nations will be always separated and tension will remain.

NeonVomit wrote:Conditions in a re-education institution where the... misguided comrades are gently shown the error of their ways and brought to the path of righteousness.

Suddenly my favourite death metal bands' flirtation with death and suffering is not so cool anymore.

I dunno... I mean, songs like Angel of Death are meant to be shocking because they describe actual events that happened in Nazi concentration camps, as a reminder and a warning of how horrible people from 'civilized' countries can be to one another.

The whole 'gore for the sake of gore' thing I never really got into, but then again I'm not much of one for slasher gore horror films so I guess the appeal is somewhat lost on me in any case. I do like Cannibal Corpse musically but never bothered reading the lyrics.

I suppose it's like someone finding they really enjoy playing Call of Duty, and then suddenly being dropped into the middle of a warzone and having a shit just got real epiphany. Suddenly, not so fun anymore...

I think I was listening to older Cryptopsy or something while reading it. Just a way of saying that the article made my stomach turn.

I dunno... I mean, songs like Angel of Death are meant to be shocking because they describe actual events that happened in Nazi concentration camps, as a reminder and a warning of how horrible people from 'civilized' countries can be to one another.

I don't know if Hanneman's idea behind the lyrics was to educate people...

I don't really care much about lyrics in general, I can tolerate awful and politically incorrect lyrics as long as the music is good. Very few artists write great lyrics imho, and most of them don't play metal.