Can people fuck in heaven?

Talk about everything else besides Stratovarius here in English. Please try to put more serious topics here, and silly topics in the Spam section.

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AGAG
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Can people fuck in heaven?

Post by AGAG » Mon Jul 04, 2011 8:47 pm

???
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AGAG
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Re: Can people fuck in heaven?

Post by AGAG » Mon Jul 04, 2011 8:48 pm

I believe snorting water is a very inefficient method to get high.
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NeverendingAbyss
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Re: Can people fuck in heaven?

Post by NeverendingAbyss » Mon Jul 04, 2011 9:27 pm

Can people be bad in heaven? Is there a hell in heaven? Wouldn't that mean that heaven can be hell at the same time? Why is my toenail getting longer?

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Re: Can people fuck in heaven?

Post by browneyedgirl » Tue Jul 05, 2011 3:22 am

Heaven is supposed to be so beautiful, and so spiritually so awesome that there will not be any need for sex in Heaven. So, get it while you can, people!!!! :wink:

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NeverendingAbyss
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Re: Can people fuck in heaven?

Post by NeverendingAbyss » Tue Jul 05, 2011 4:59 am

browneyedgirl wrote:Heaven is supposed to be so beautiful, and so spiritually so awesome that there will not be any need for sex in Heaven. So, get it while you can, people!!!! :wink:
WOW! This should be quoted in every lamp post.

Image

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Re: Can people fuck in heaven?

Post by AAAAAAAAAA » Tue Jul 05, 2011 6:09 am

Can I still somehow read the "Most Nicest Poster" thread in the afterlife?? I need to learn what becomes of Pekka and Mr. Strutt.. :nervous:

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Re: Can people fuck in heaven?

Post by J- さ& » Tue Jul 05, 2011 6:22 am

?????????????
....

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Re: Can people fuck in heaven?

Post by Stratowarius » Tue Jul 05, 2011 6:47 am

AAAAAAAAAA wrote:Can I still somehow read the "Most Nicest Poster" thread in the afterlife?? I need to learn what becomes of Pekka and Mr. Strutt.. :nervous:
Fax from Pekka Fucking Nurmi to A10!

He who has two ears, let him hear, what Pekka says.

To him who overcomes, he will have the right to know.

Truly I say to you. Someday you will fuck with me in Paradise.

Commander Pekka Nurmi.


Edit; I forgot. GENERALCOMMANDER Pekka Nurmi...

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Re: Can people fuck in heaven?

Post by robocop656 » Tue Jul 05, 2011 9:12 am

You can eat heaven AND fuck it!! It's a dessert!!

http://www.myrecipes.com/recipe/chocola ... 000520445/

<object width="425" height="349"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/FhqWHFOBnHw?ve ... ram><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/FhqWHFOBnHw?ve ... p;hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="349" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object>

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Re: Can people fuck in heaven?

Post by Hubble86 » Tue Jul 05, 2011 12:29 pm

:shock:

Where have all the Virgins gone?
Long time passing,
Where have all the Virgins gone?
Long time ago.
They are in Paradise, to serve the Musses there.
And they will have to learn,
And they will have to learn...

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Re: Can people fuck in heaven?

Post by browneyedgirl » Tue Jul 05, 2011 3:55 pm

Image

Better than Sex cake. Heaven on earth. :yum: Rosie O'Donell, Roseanne Barr, Whoopi Goldberg, and Kirstie Ally looked at this cake and collectively had an orgasm. Not bad. :D
1 pkg. chocolate cake mix
1 (3.5 ounce) package instant chocolate pudding mix
4 eggs
1/4 cup water
1/2 cup vegetable oil
8 ounces sour cream
2 cups semisweet chocolate chips
1/2 cup chopped pecans
Directions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease and flour two 9 inch round cake pans.
In a large bowl, combine cake mix, pudding mix, eggs, water, oil and sour cream. Beat with a mixer until smooth. Stir in chocolate chips.
Divide into two 9 inch pans. Bake at 350 degrees F (175 degrees C) for 45 minutes.
Frost with Cream Cheese Frosting or Sour Cream Chocolate Frosting. Sprinkle with pecans, and more chocolate chips. And coconut, if desired.

Image
YUMMY :yum:

This is a non-chocolate version which calls for Cool Whip, and bananas. Figures. :wink:

Pass me a cigarette.........I mean, the coffee. ;)

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Re: Can people fuck in heaven?

Post by adrian9 » Tue Jul 05, 2011 11:10 pm

being sex such a good thing that also brings live and so many good stuff to your health it would be the ultimate joke for our creator if we arent able to have sex in heaven. :x
A9

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miditek
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Re: Can people fuck in heaven?

Post by miditek » Thu Jul 07, 2011 8:27 pm

"For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven." - Matthew 22:30

No marriage, and no need for procreation in the hereafter.
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Arnold D. Layne
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Re: Can people fuck in heaven?

Post by Arnold D. Layne » Fri Jul 08, 2011 12:59 am

miditek wrote:"For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven." - Matthew 22:30

No marriage, and no need for procreation in the hereafter.
booooooooooooooooo

Arnold D. Layne :x

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Re: Can people fuck in heaven?

Post by adrian9 » Fri Jul 08, 2011 2:39 am

browneyedgirl wrote:Rosie O'Donell, Roseanne Barr, Whoopi Goldberg, and Kirstie Ally
those women didnt have other option but to rely on cakes...now if you say that Megan fox, Cameron diaz or carmen electra called that cake an orgasm I would check it out.. :lol:
A9

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Re: Can people fuck in heaven?

Post by AGAG » Fri Jul 08, 2011 7:39 am

miditek wrote:"For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven." - Matthew 22:30

No marriage, and no need for procreation in the hereafter.
Thank you. You answered my question :)
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Re: Can people fuck in heaven?

Post by rikkertje » Fri Jul 08, 2011 8:01 pm

I'm glad I'm not religious at all and don't have to worry about all this nonsense. :P I'll fuck as long as I live, and hope that when I die, there won't be anything at all. No heaven, no hell, nothing, just nothing. I think I've had enough of living after 80+ years. :lol:

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Re: Can people fuck in heaven?

Post by The Enigma » Fri Jul 08, 2011 9:05 pm

miditek wrote:"For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven." - Matthew 22:30

No marriage, and no need for procreation in the hereafter.
Yeah, once you get there it'll be enough, you done your deeds. No need to pollute the heaven by procreating next generations. Might become crowded there.

How about the past 2^n generations who possibly gone there before us? They holding a space for us ??? Don't think so, they might have read the said chapter in the bible long tim e ago and acted accordingly.

The faith is for anyone, but it's not quite logical, if you ask me...



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Re: Can people fuck in heaven?

Post by miditek » Fri Jul 08, 2011 10:51 pm

The Enigma wrote:
miditek wrote:"For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven." - Matthew 22:30

No marriage, and no need for procreation in the hereafter.
Yeah, once you get there it'll be enough, you done your deeds. No need to pollute the heaven by procreating next generations. Might become crowded there.

How about the past 2^n generations who possibly gone there before us? They holding a space for us ??? Don't think so, they might have read the said chapter in the bible long tim e ago and acted accordingly.

The faith is for anyone, but it's not quite logical, if you ask me...

.
One definition of faith is to believe in what cannot be seen or otherwise "proven", so secular scientific logic obviously goes out the window on that one.

However, the last time I checked, the secular scientific community had not yet disproven the existence of God, or heaven, for that matter. :wink:
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Re: Can people fuck in heaven?

Post by mayhem-for-all » Sat Jul 09, 2011 8:58 am

One definition of faith is to believe in what cannot be seen or otherwise "proven",
So then what do you choose to believe in?
If it doesn't have to be proved then you can believe that you are a pink elephant. You should of course believe in Russells tea pot too (a very small tea pot circling the earth between earth and mars and too small to be seen or to be proven to be there)
so secular scientific logic obviously goes out the window on that one.
Yes exactly. Great. When someone gives you a counter argument you can say "my beliefs have a 9000 point lava shield that blocks all counter arguments"

Scientific logic is the true understanding of this world. And if you say bad things about science by typing them on your computer...
However, the last time I checked, the secular scientific community had not yet disproven the existence of God, or heaven, for that matter.
1788?

Well ok we can say that they haven't directly said that there is no heaven since after all the tiny portion of them are theists (10-20%)
Yet they haven't disproven Valhalla, Niflheim, Odin (Oden), Balder, Jotunheim, Baal, Satan, Brahma, Brahman, Shiva, Amaterasu, Zeus, Apollo...
So in order to believe in one God you need to disprove around a couple of thousand other Gods.
If you then say Faith doesn't need logic you will notice that you can't disprove them and end up believing in all of them.

The world is filled with religions and all them claim to be the one and only right religion.
It seems quite trusting to bet on the that your family has got thousands of years through politics and conquests. Actually. How do you know that you are not the heretic that is yet to discover the true faith?

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Re: Can people fuck in heaven?

Post by Damien Thorn » Sat Jul 09, 2011 4:25 pm

Why take the risk and procrastinate?

Also, those wings get in the way... Really, trust me...

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Re: Can people fuck in heaven?

Post by AGAG » Sat Jul 09, 2011 8:36 pm

Look at the debate I have just unleashed :cry:
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miditek
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Re: Can people fuck in heaven?

Post by miditek » Sun Jul 10, 2011 12:17 am

One definition of faith is to believe in what cannot be seen or otherwise "proven",
mayhem-for-all wrote:So then what do you choose to believe in? If it doesn't have to be proved then you can believe that you are a pink elephant. You should of course believe in Russells tea pot too (a very small tea pot circling the earth between earth and mars and too small to be seen or to be proven to be there)
My beliefs are actually pretty simple...

- I believe in the God of Israel- the same God that is the God of Abraham, Issac, and Jacob.

- I believe that Jesus Christ is the only Son of God,
and believe that He came to the earth incarnated as
a human, and that His human form was an incarnation
of the Immaculate Conception, and that He was born
of the Virgin Mary.

- I believe that Christ came to save mankind from sin, and to offer grace and forgiveness to all that call upon Him.

- I also believe in the Holy Trinity of; God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit.

- I am also a dedicated Zionist that believes the
New Covenant does not in any way supercede the
Old Covenant, and that Israel has a God-given right
to their land via the Old Covenant promised to the
Jews by the Almighty Himself.
so secular scientific logic obviously goes out the window on that one.
mayhem-for-all wrote:Yes exactly. Great. When someone gives you a counter argument you can say "my beliefs have a 9000 point lava shield that blocks all counter arguments"
Actually, I don't. I've stated what I believe, in addition to why I believe it many times here in this forum over the years. I have also offered some questions here over the years that I have yet to see a strong counterargument for.

I have cited examples of, let's say technical disciplines, such as military science, to bolster my opinions in favor that God does indeed exist. One of the "classic" (you could say) examples that I've used is the fact that while the U.S. Military Academy at West Point, NY still uses Napoleon to this day for examples in leadership, but as of yet, has never cited the stunning military victories of the modern day State of Israel in any of its case studies.

Why is that? It is due to the statistical improbability of victory (for Israel) in all of
the wars she has fought in since 1948. In fact, in Israel's war of independence in 1948, this tiny country did not even have an official army, but only 20,000 lightly trained militia from al-Haganah, which beat back the hordes of not one, two, three, nor four, but five Arabic armies that were bent upon her destruction and pushing David Ben-Gurion and his compatriots into the Mediterranean.

"Miracles do not, in fact, break the laws of nature.", wrote C.S. Lewis, the great 20th century writer and thinker, who he himself was once a sound atheist in his youth.

And of all of the great miracles of the past century, none in my opinion could qualify as astonishing as the rebirth of Israel after a nearly 2,000 year exile in the worldwide diaspora, and such an improbable victory against impossible odds.

Even Napoleon himself offered some interesting insight about Christ while in exile at St. Helena. He had asked a visitor, a Count Montholon, to describe who Jesus was. When the Count declined, then the former Emperor responded by saying;

"Well then, I will tell you. Alexander, Caesar, Charlemagne and I myself have founded great empires; but upon what did these creations of our genius depend? Upon force. Jesus alone founded His empire upon love, and to this very day millions will die for Him. . . . I think I understand something of human nature; and I tell you, all these were men, and I am a man; none else is like Him:

Jesus Christ was more than a man. . . . I have inspired multitudes with such an enthusiastic devotion that they would have died for me . . . but to do this is was necessary that I should be visibly present with the electric influence of my looks, my words, of my voice. When I saw men and spoke to them, I lightened up the flame of self-devotion in their hearts. . . . Christ alone has succeeded in so raising the mind of man toward the unseen, that it becomes insensible to the barriers of time and space. Across a chasm of eighteen hundred years, Jesus Christ makes a demand which is beyond all others difficult to satisfy; He asks for that which a philosopher may often seek in vain at the hands of his friends, or a father of his children, or a bride of her spouse, or a man of his brother.

He asks for the human heart; He will have it entirely to Himself. He demands it unconditionally; and forthwith His demand is granted. Wonderful! In defiance of time and space, the soul of man, with all its powers and faculties, becomes an annexation to the empire of Christ. All who sincerely believe in Him, experience that remarkable, supernatural love toward Him. This phenomenon is unaccountable; it is altogether beyond the scope of man's creative powers. Time, the great destroyer, is powerless to extinguish this sacred flame; time can neither exhaust its strength nor put a limit to its range. This is it, which strikes me most; I have often thought of it. This it is which proves to me quite convincingly the Divinity of Jesus Christ
."
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Re: Can people fuck in heaven?

Post by AAAAAAAAAA » Sun Jul 10, 2011 12:47 am

And of all of the great miracles of the past century, none in my opinion could qualify as astonishing as the rebirth of Israel after a nearly 2,000 year exile in the worldwide diaspora, and such an improbable victory against impossible odds.
Paul the Octopus correctly guessed the outcome of 8 world cup games in 2010. Do you really want to worship that ugly-ass thing? You cannot infer some mandate from God based on a few statistically unlikely events.

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Re: Can people fuck in heaven?

Post by HinatAArcticA » Sun Jul 10, 2011 4:51 am

Image
No need to feel so afraid, colors last a lifetime and fade to gray...
Tony Kakko

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mayhem-for-all
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Re: Can people fuck in heaven?

Post by mayhem-for-all » Sun Jul 10, 2011 8:46 am

Also
I would like you all to see this. This hits the nail on the head so I would like you all to see this. (I mean what is there to lose watching this) Actually it is really funny.

<iframe></iframe>

I believe in the God of Israel- the same God that is the God of Abraham
So you believe in Jehova, Allah (not a name I know) and God and these of three different religons.
- I believe that Jesus Christ is the only Son of God,
and believe that He came to the earth incarnated as
a human, and that His human form was an incarnation
of the Immaculate Conception, and that He was born
of the Virgin Mary.
Now I wonder what (other than brainwash as a child) can make someone believe a story such as this that taken out of it context would never be believed. You would never believe if your own wife said "I am pregnant but I have never had any sex". Yet when another woman said that 2000 years ago and it is written in an old book and taught to all children in most of western countries then it is undeniably true.
- I believe that Jesus Christ is the only Son of God,
and believe that He came to the earth incarnated as
a human, and that His human form was an incarnation
of the Immaculate Conception, and that He was born
of the Virgin Mary.

- I believe that Christ came to save mankind from sin, and to offer grace and forgiveness to all that call upon Him.

- I also believe in the Holy Trinity of; God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit.

- I am also a dedicated Zionist that believes the
New Covenant does not in any way supercede the
Old Covenant, and that Israel has a God-given right
to their land via the Old Covenant promised to the
Jews by the Almighty Himself.
I think you will enjoy that video.
It is based on beliefs that people like you have.
See it for yourself.

Yet listing what one beliefs is of course making things easier but as I commented on my post before it is quite difficult for you to in any way justify your beliefs. Why these, why not some else. If you look at where you live (and your parents and family) you may see that quite a lot of them share your beliefs. Yet if you had born in Indonesia for example you and everyone you know would be Muslims. How do you know the religion you were born in is the right one if the reason you support it is just being in the right place at the right time (and notice that God can't influence anything in this as other non-christian countries have a lot of children too)
I have also offered some questions here over the years that I have yet to see a strong counterargument for.
Oh so have I. So have I.
I have cited examples of, let's say technical disciplines, such as military science, to bolster my opinions in favor that God does indeed exist. One of the "classic" (you could say) examples that I've used is the fact that while the U.S. Military Academy at West Point, NY still uses Napoleon to this day for examples in leadership, but as of yet, has never cited the stunning military victories of the modern day State of Israel in any of its case studies.
Yeah and the holocaust ("Jews are my people lol") really showed that Jews have God on their side.
Galaxys movements are blind to human beings.
Why is that? It is due to the statistical improbability of victory (for Israel) in all of
the wars she has fought in since 1948. In fact, in Israel's war of independence in 1948, this tiny country did not even have an official army, but only 20,000 lightly trained militia from al-Haganah, which beat back the hordes of not one, two, three, nor four, but five Arabic armies that were bent upon her destruction and pushing David Ben-Gurion and his compatriots into the Mediterranean
If God would really be on their side they wouldn't have suffered casualities or had any wounded.
"Miracles do not, in fact, break the laws of nature.", wrote C.S. Lewis, the great 20th century writer and thinker, who he himself was once a sound atheist in his youth.
Is he a great thinker in your book because he was a theist or not.
I might give you hundreds of great thinkers who are atheists and that wouldn't still prove a thing.

A great Psychologist Sigmund Freud had a lot of great theories and he is great even though 99% of them are considered untrue today.

Actually the constitution of the United States was made by a group or atheists and agnostics and see where it has gone.

If you want something to match it I might give you Bertrand Russells (a great man. A pacifist, Philosopher and an atheist) response to when he was asked how would he respond if God would ask him after he died why didn't Russell believe in him "Not enough evidence God, Not enough evidence"

If Miracles are compatible then it should be easy to explain why scientists are (in different countries) 60-80% either atheists or agnostics.

And of all of the great miracles of the past century, none in my opinion could qualify as astonishing as the rebirth of Israel after a nearly 2,000 year exile in the worldwide diaspora, and such an improbable victory against impossible odds.
Yes and without modern communication technology no one would even know about it. God has indeed done great job of showing us he exists.
(once more I recommend the video)
Oh and I don't even think that is so impropable.
If it indeed was Gods favorite country (how fair is for a God to favor some people and you still call this massmusrdering beast all-loving) Then why did he allow it to ever be broken. All-loving God that has influence in this world doesn't fit the world as it is (He doesn't stop wars and now during the time of modern medicine there are no miraculous healings either. Oh and he doesn't seem to even favor those who believe in him over those who don't)
Even Napoleon himself offered some interesting insight about Christ while in exile at St. Helena. He had asked a visitor, a Count Montholon, to describe who Jesus was. When the Count declined, then the former Emperor responded by saying;

"Well then, I will tell you. Alexander, Caesar, Charlemagne and I myself have founded great empires; but upon what did these creations of our genius depend? Upon force. Jesus alone founded His empire upon love, and to this very day millions will die for Him. . . . I think I understand something of human nature; and I tell you, all these were men, and I am a man; none else is like Him:

Jesus Christ was more than a man. . . . I have inspired multitudes with such an enthusiastic devotion that they would have died for me . . . but to do this is was necessary that I should be visibly present with the electric influence of my looks, my words, of my voice. When I saw men and spoke to them, I lightened up the flame of self-devotion in their hearts. . . . Christ alone has succeeded in so raising the mind of man toward the unseen, that it becomes insensible to the barriers of time and space. Across a chasm of eighteen hundred years, Jesus Christ makes a demand which is beyond all others difficult to satisfy; He asks for that which a philosopher may often seek in vain at the hands of his friends, or a father of his children, or a bride of her spouse, or a man of his brother.

He asks for the human heart; He will have it entirely to Himself. He demands it unconditionally; and forthwith His demand is granted. Wonderful! In defiance of time and space, the soul of man, with all its powers and faculties, becomes an annexation to the empire of Christ. All who sincerely believe in Him, experience that remarkable, supernatural love toward Him. This phenomenon is unaccountable; it is altogether beyond the scope of man's creative powers. Time, the great destroyer, is powerless to extinguish this sacred flame; time can neither exhaust its strength nor put a limit to its range. This is it, which strikes me most; I have often thought of it. This it is which proves to me quite convincingly the Divinity of Jesus Christ."
I have really hard time understanding what kind of proves are these.
1. Napoleon believed in God
Ergo: There has to be a God who loves us all and he must have came down to earth to sacrifice himself to himself to make himself able to forgive mankind of their symbolic sins
err... Non Sequitur.
Jesus alone founded His empire upon love, and to this very day millions will die for Him
yeah right.
Muslims would say the exact same thing about Mohammed (and people of soviet union could have said the same thing about Lenin :lol: )

I really think understanding of http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cultural_relativism this would do really good to you people who are blind of your own perspective.
This it is which proves to me quite convincingly the Divinity of Jesus Christ
So now you rely one the same thought as ethical naturalism and Coherentism.
The previous generation have thought this true better and they have to be right. The only things that are right are the ones that are compatible with the previous knowledge.

So basically Napoleon based his proving on the duration of the beliefs (Aboriginals have a lot more older beliefs that have remained, shouldn't they be right?)
and the way how people believe in him enough to die for (which makes this so sad)
A lot of people believe in silly things and that doesn't make them even a tiny bit more true.
There are people who believe in Parapsychology and Astrology and no matter how much people believe in them it doesn't change the thing they believe in (in you case you believe in a fatherless man who is also his own father and came to get himself killed to impress himself and to tell people that he is the creator of all) (If you haven't watched the video, shame on you)


I am a bit tired now but I will be back to finish off things.

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Re: Can people fuck in heaven?

Post by rikkertje » Sun Jul 10, 2011 2:41 pm

When I read the stuff from the bible I can't help thinking that even a Rhapsody of Fire CD is more believable! :lol:

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Re: Can people fuck in heaven?

Post by icecab21 » Mon Jul 11, 2011 7:03 am

Why is that? It is due to the statistical improbability of victory (for Israel) in all of
the wars she has fought in since 1948. In fact, in Israel's war of independence in 1948, this tiny country did not even have an official army, but only 20,000 lightly trained militia from al-Haganah, which beat back the hordes of not one, two, three, nor four, but five Arabic armies that were bent upon her destruction and pushing David Ben-Gurion and his compatriots into the Mediterranean.
isreal has and had a powerful military because of the west.

as for the 1948 wars. hardly a miracle at all that the better trained and equiped army beat the lesser army with less equipment and training.

do you think isriel wins without the usa and other western help and just with god?

Israel was built by a bigger force than any arab war against them

isreal had technical advantages very early on

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wars_involving_Israel
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1948_Arab% ... sraeli_War
Israeli victory, tactical and strategic Arab failure
i don't think tactical and stratigic failure is something god would have anything to do with other from the faith in god that people had that caused the people to help train and supply israel. it does not conclude isreali victory by divine intervention.

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browneyedgirl
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Re: Can people fuck in heaven?

Post by browneyedgirl » Mon Jul 11, 2011 3:23 pm

In the movie "Raiders of the Lost Ark" God's spirit punished the Nazis. Its says in the Bible, "No one can look upon the face of God, and live."

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mayhem-for-all
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Re: Can people fuck in heaven?

Post by mayhem-for-all » Tue Jul 12, 2011 8:31 am

browneyedgirl wrote:In the movie "Raiders of the Lost Ark" God's spirit punished the Nazis.
:roll: So you bring in a movie?
Have you seen Lord of the Rings. Shouldn't we worship Sauron or something. He was in a movie so he has to be real and since he was a lot more cooler than your God who never appears anywhere and never takes part in things.
Its says in the Bible, "No one can look upon the face of God, and live."
I have no idea how that has to do with anything.
It also has a great part where male citizens of a village want to rape two male angels and a good man gives them his young virgin daughters instead because he doesn't want to get his guests raped and women are afterall worthless by the moral of the bible.

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