Important Announcement from Arnold Layne

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Arnold Layne
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Important Announcement from Arnold Layne

Post by Arnold Layne » Sat Aug 13, 2011 6:18 am

Hello, gentlemen and ladies men. Today, I have an important announcement. HUH!

I have wined and dined with the greatest men in Europe. Intellectuals, savants, virtuosos, and a few weirdos. And, I out-ate them all, with no question.

Butt butt!! Today I grow 30 and I'm not getting any thinner (jaja). Therefore...

I, Arnold, hereby declare that I am ready to take in a wife. You may submit your applic-ass-ions here, and please include the following information:

#1 (chocolate-roll with brown dumpling): A 320x240 photograph.
#2 (Kung-pao chicken with fishliveroil): A brief statement of why I should select you as my loving and faithful bride over the other candidates
#3 (Ma-pao tofu with green beans as a soy-d dish): A ballpark estimate of the volume of your brain, in cubic centimeters
#4 (Peking-duck with quackers): A letter of recommendassion from Karlheinz Stockhausen
#5 (Beef with sauteed Karlheinz Liver:) The best way to eat an oreo (this will not affect your application, I am really stumped. HUH!)

Yours truly,
Arnold Layne,
Memory Layne, Leeds, GREAT Britain.

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Re: Important Announcement from Arnold Layne

Post by HinatAArcticA » Sat Aug 13, 2011 9:01 am

Image
No need to feel so afraid, colors last a lifetime and fade to gray...
Tony Kakko

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Re: Important Announcement from Arnold Layne

Post by DDDDDDDD » Sat Aug 13, 2011 9:46 am


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Re: Important Announcement from Arnold Layne

Post by Derrick Rose » Sat Aug 13, 2011 10:16 pm


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Re: Important Announcement from Arnold Layne

Post by ÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖ » Mon Aug 15, 2011 6:07 am

:)

Hallo Arnold my old friend
I have come to talk to you again,
Because a vision softly creeping,
Left it seeds while I was sleeping,
And the vision of you was planted in my brain,
And still remain,
Within the sound of silence.

Then the thunder came, and in the flashs I saw,
Ten thousand pounds of you, maybe more,
They were talking without speaking,
they were hearing without listening,
When my eyes were stabbed,
With the thunder light,
That split the night,
And destroyed the sound of silence.

You are a fool, I said and you don't know,
Silence between us now will grow,
Take my arms, I will try to rech around,
If I use all my bound,
And the flash send us a warning,
In the light that thunder forming,
Then it said take care,
And the thunder say beware,
Don't break the sound of silence.

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Arnold Layne
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Re: Important Announcement from Arnold Layne

Post by Arnold Layne » Mon Aug 15, 2011 8:26 am

I don't have time for your empty words!
I would much rather be eating burnt birds,
I suggest less poems and MUCH more grilling,
Drizzled with oil to make it more filling,

For what better way to show that you care,
Than charred turkey legs, thrust high in the air?
What better way to open your heart,
Than a seafood platter served À la carte?

If I hear the sound of silence,
Then our love will fizzle,
For no ballad is touching,
Like that of bacon-sizzle.

With silence in the air,
How could I chew?
If its quiet in there,
How can I brew?

If you can't hear a thing,
Does it include the grill?
Not even a ding,
Like a microwave-trill?

When the toaster is ready,
When the coffee is done,
When the pancakes are finished,
The pizza's overdone?

What are you saying, that I cannot hear,
The bubbling of soup and the brewing of beer?
What do you mean, that I should not heed,
The hymn of the ham, the song of the mead?

The dribble of coffee, the twinkle of tea,
The nocturne of nestle, the yodel of brie,
The ballad of bread and sonata of stuffing,
That we ate until we were huffing and puffing?

Arnold Layne
GREAT Britain

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Re: Important Announcement from Arnold Layne

Post by ÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖ » Mon Aug 15, 2011 12:33 pm

:)

Oh, Arnold,so many beautiful words,
They fly in the sky, like burn-legged birds,
And who, least me, can think of some grilling,
When your stunning poem, is almost killing.

Your appetite tells me, you do not care,
So much, what you eat, as long the cook do not spare,
Butter and fat. And that the way to your heart,
Is if I give you, our Derricks cooked liver a la carte.

I can hear you roar in the deafening silence,
When I can't be to your cooking ASSistance,
And your hunger can maybe seems a bit touching,
If it's not my liver, you want to be clutching.

If silence has stuck our under-bed-blunderings,
And your chews will be like the sound of thunderings,
How can we find the attraction we want to meet,
If you only think of next time you can eat.

You would like the sound, when Derricks pink liver,
Is grilled in the coals, but I will NOT deliver,
I like him intact and it is not fair,
To grill all the forumer-livers you don't want to spare.

Now I will say to you, loud and clear,
Stop this macabre diet! Do you hear!
I will compensate you with carrots and beer,
And when you are skunkdrunk, noone needs to fear...


I gave you my lunchtime,
And stole all your rhyme-rhyme,
That is how I amam...


PS. I hate liver. Especially human! :roll: :roll: :roll:

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Arnold Layne
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Re: Important Announcement from Arnold Layne

Post by Arnold Layne » Mon Aug 15, 2011 7:15 pm

I can't believe what I think that I hear,
You, please me, with carrots and beer?
Now, I won't reject a nice, cool glass,
But haven't you seen the size of my ass?

If you think that carrots are part of my diet,
I dunno- should I deny it, or just stay quiet?
Since it seems the brain that I have been loving,
Is no bigger than a birds, straight from the oven

Now, what I crave when I'm in a jam,
Lies just beside the diaphragm,
Producing glycogen and, without question,
Biochemicals necessary for digestion,

I must say, I shiver, when I think of liver,
Now all that's left is to find a giver...

And if there are no givers, I'll be a taker,
All I need is muffins from the Seattle-baker,
I will be full, Derrick Rose will be dead,
Then maybe we'll meet...say, under your bed? :oops:

Arnold Layne

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Re: Important Announcement from Arnold Layne

Post by Ilsekena » Mon Aug 15, 2011 10:43 pm

How do you know that i'm hiding from thunder under my bed? huh?

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Re: Important Announcement from Arnold Layne

Post by ÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖ » Tue Aug 16, 2011 7:13 am

Arnold Layne wrote:
And if there are no givers, I'll be a taker,
All I need is muffins from the Seattle-baker,
I will be full, Derrick Rose will be dead,
Then maybe we'll meet...say, under your bed? :oops:

Arnold Layne

Jaja Oh Dear oh dear. I havent time for more today! :luv1:

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Arnold Layne
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Re: Important Announcement from Arnold Layne

Post by Arnold Layne » Wed Aug 17, 2011 6:52 am

Jaja! I will be waiting eagerly for when you organ-ize and de-liver your next post, for the delight of my eyes (my fucking eyes!).

Arnold Layne

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Re: Important Announcement from Arnold Layne

Post by ÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖ » Wed Aug 17, 2011 8:00 am

:)

Embrace me, you unembraceable you,

Embrace me, you inconceivable you,

Just one look at you,

My heart grew tipsy in me,

You and you alone bring out the gipsy in me,


I love all the many pounds in you,

Sorry, I fail to put my arms around you,

Don't be a naughty fatty,

Come to mee, come to mee DO,

You sweet unembraceable you...


:luv1:


Enough for today? HuH!

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Arnold Layne
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Re: Important Announcement from Arnold Layne

Post by Arnold Layne » Thu Aug 18, 2011 8:53 am

My head is buried in my hands,
Waiting for the click and clack of those pots and pans,
To give some sign that the food is coming,
As the pangs of hunger become raw and numbing,

But nothing will come and WHO is to blame,
A man from Leeds (no-name-no-flame),
Yes, I, Arnold, destroyed the diner,
And, not to sound like some kind of whiner,
The wait-time at the kebab palace,
Is perhaps as long as Priapus' phallus

Ö10 wraps her arms around my equator,
But what I need is a chef or cater,
For the only wrap that's on my mind,
Is filled with cheese, and ham combined...

Arnold Layne

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Re: Important Announcement from Arnold Layne

Post by ÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖ » Thu Aug 18, 2011 1:53 pm

:) :)

I did my best when I tried to wrap,
My arms around this big Arnold-chap,
But gosh, I was stuck in a real rattle-trap,
When his biceps-arms nailed me, in a loving snap.

I can't believe, how this bacon-map,
That I once saw, as an adorable yap,
Could eat himself to be like crap,
And he looks as before, only when he wears base-ball-cap.

My beautiful Arnold has been so fat,
That I'm not sure, he can wear a hat,
Or go to the gaybaker dressed with cravat.
And when the baker will see him, I'm sure he must squat. :luv1:

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Arnold Layne
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Re: Important Announcement from Arnold Layne

Post by Arnold Layne » Thu Aug 18, 2011 9:55 pm

You never call, I don't understand it,
Ever since NASA declared me a planet,
And though my south-pole may be a bit large,
And taxis give me an extra charge,
My heart was still made for you,
Even if it skips a beat or two

You seem to have lost your Arnold-sweet-tooth,
Since the day I got stuck in that phone booth,
And when I'm asleep, just what do you mean,
Local kids use me as their trampoline?
Butt my heart was still made for you,
With feelings more warm than a microwaved shrew.

You hardly ever read my FAX,
Since the government issued a fat-tax,
And my airplane got stuck in the trough,
When we went down the runway and couldn't take off,
Butt like Pekka's famous hircine-stew,
My fatty heart was hand-made for you.

Arnold Layne

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Re: Important Announcement from Arnold Layne

Post by ÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖ » Fri Aug 19, 2011 7:15 am

:shock: Oh dear, oh dear! I got an alarming mail from a Karlheinz Stockhousen. He warned me for you and said that you only want my liver. My liver?

My LIVER? Do you need a transplant?

I am in a hurry now, so we can maybe talk about this later. Love...

:luv1:

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Re: Important Announcement from Arnold Layne

Post by ÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖ » Fri Aug 19, 2011 2:14 pm

:shock:

What can Stocken mean and is it true,
That all you want from me is a liver-stew,
I trusted you, when you talked about love,
And that you thougt about me as a liver-less dove.

And now this frightful words,
From Stocken. Can they be true to two-thirds,
Or is he a big German lier in girds,
That the accurate reality not herds.

Is he just envious and jealous,
And want to see you acrimonious,
And make you adenous,
After you left him so allianceous?

Tell me please, I can take it, if you only tell me the truth. Are you a gayguy?????Huh! If that is the case I have gone in the gaytrap. AGAIN! HUH!

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Re: Important Announcement from Arnold Layne

Post by Wang Chong Layne » Fri Aug 19, 2011 6:38 pm

Herro. Eye am Wang Chong Layne, distant cousin of Chang.

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Re: Important Announcement from Arnold Layne

Post by DDDDDDDD » Fri Aug 19, 2011 10:14 pm

hmmmm so you are a distant cousin of chang and related to the Laynes hmmmm???????

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Re: Important Announcement from Arnold Layne

Post by Arnold D. Layne » Fri Aug 19, 2011 10:15 pm

hmmmmm....????


Arnold D. Layne

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Re: Important Announcement from Arnold Layne

Post by Derrick Rose » Sat Aug 20, 2011 5:14 am

Who are all these Laynes??

Is Leeds making them faster than Stratoforum can keep track. :buh:

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Re: Important Announcement from Arnold Layne

Post by AAAAAAAAAA » Sat Aug 20, 2011 9:40 am

This is Arnold, in case you have doubts,
Since the gay muffin baker is too lazy to log out,
Posting from a mobile phone takes forever,
Changing nics- an impossible endeavor

I do care about you, I don't mean to flirt,
Butt a bite of that liver sure wouldn't hurt,
Don't mean to be selfish butt I do have my needs,
Consider what I want- Arnold, from Leeds!

Arnold LAAAAAAAAAAyne

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Re: Important Announcement from Arnold Layne

Post by ÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖ » Sat Aug 20, 2011 12:39 pm

:) I stay with Ö! :)

You evade my straight question, but I will see this through,
If you not are a gay-guy, can you gve me a clue,
To why you mostly eat gaylivers when you will chew,
Are they beer-impregnated when ripe and due?

Now maybe you think I would like to que,
To give you a piece of my liver to stew,
You wan't a new field, you can liver-plough,
And a new Challeheinze you wish to screw.

But here you are totally wrong my beau,
I will not be one in your de-livering crew,
I like my pure liver to be intact and grow,
And if you try some cutting, I will use strongest glue.

So please don't insist. You are among few,
That flame my red heart and can't that be enough,
Why must you eat me? Even the thought make me blue,
Ask the lovely baker and he can make you a liver-stuff-dough...


Wouldn't that be a liver-shiver-huh-hough...


:luv1:

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Re: Important Announcement from Arnold Layne

Post by Arnold Layne » Sat Aug 20, 2011 9:55 pm

Heinzy-was right to warn you of my ways,
As I spend my leisure dining with Seattle-gays,
Butt I PROMISE I won't eat your liver and bile,
I just want to hold it, in my mouth for a while...

Let it be it in chunks or let it be in strips,
Let it slosh near my throat and slip by my lips,
Let it glide by my cheek and under my tongue,
Let it cure all my ailments and make me feel young,

I beg of you to organ-ize this request
So if you de-liver what I suggest,
One thing leads to another- who knows what will follow?
Butt this, I can promise: I would never swallow!

You know, I've had a rough life as such a fat man,
At the beach, i'm the only one who gets a tan,
I once killed a man for a tuna-melt,
And I need a boomerang to put on my belt,

I have so few things in this life,
Hot-air balloon for an ass, gay baker for a wife,
Many nights, from my fucking-eye burns I have cried,
So at least let me gargle your silky inside

I am facing a SEVERE organ drought,
Remember: I swear to spit them back out!!

Arnold Layne

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Re: Important Announcement from Arnold Layne

Post by ÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖ » Sun Aug 21, 2011 7:26 am

:(


Thank you, Arnold, the fat,
For your poems, I lift my hat,
But my "silky inside" you can't pat,
I rather be eaten by thousands Gnat-Gnat.

Mr Stocken says you are a rat,
And I believe him after our chat,
He is a jolly good fellow and that,
Say all of us in Mödrath.

Jaja. I have moved to that Stadt,
And here is so much to look at,
So I stay and am saved from your orange bat,
Here where everyone is like a cosy warm mat.

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Re: Important Announcement from Arnold Layne

Post by AAAAAAAAAA » Mon Aug 22, 2011 5:36 am

Whatever will I do with my Arnold Layne!
Yes, he knows a few tricks and is more or less tame,
Butt he's revolting and rude, sarcastic and smelly,
And how many times can I rub this man's belly?

Sprawled there naked on my front grass,
Deciding who next to bite in the ass,
With the neighborhood poodle, making sweet talk,
Begging for me, to take him on a walk,

The neighbors can tell the time somewhat,
From the shadow cast by Arnold's huge butt,
And with each putrid plunk of his public-poop-plop,
I can feel my property-value drop,

I hope Arnold will soon disappear,
Before AGAG finds her way over here...

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Re: Important Announcement from Arnold Layne

Post by Arnold Layne » Tue Aug 30, 2011 6:02 am

Arnold Layne is strutting his stuff. HUH!

Arnold Layne

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Re: Important Announcement from Arnold Layne

Post by Arnold Layne » Tue Aug 30, 2011 10:53 pm

Bumpety-bump!

Arnold Layne

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