Arnold Layne - A Beautiful Life
Posted: Thu Nov 14, 2013 7:18 pm
Age 0: I am finally born. I do not care for life outside the uterus.
Age 1: I relucantly re-enter my mother's womb
Age 3: I am evicted for nonpayment of rent
Age 4: I discover the joy of Pepsi
Age 5: I begin my wrestling career
Age 6: I steal my first pair of women's panties
Age 7: I retire from professional wrestling and move in to K. Rouster's Kebab Palace
Age 8: The Kebab Palace is destroyed by means of my gluttony
Age 9: I briefly experience a caloric deficit for the first and last time
Age 10: I spend three months on A10's lawn as his watchdog. I bark and bite indiscriminately
Age 11: I meet and fall in love with Karlheinz Stockhausen. He is also quite taken with me. We begin a passionate romance.
Age 12: I discover my sister, Goal, has been living in my stomach for the last 12 years. She is removed by caesarean section. Also, I discover that boogers are, indeed, edible.
Age 13: I meet Flavio Ontivero
Arnold Layne
Age 1: I relucantly re-enter my mother's womb
Age 3: I am evicted for nonpayment of rent
Age 4: I discover the joy of Pepsi
Age 5: I begin my wrestling career
Age 6: I steal my first pair of women's panties
Age 7: I retire from professional wrestling and move in to K. Rouster's Kebab Palace
Age 8: The Kebab Palace is destroyed by means of my gluttony
Age 9: I briefly experience a caloric deficit for the first and last time
Age 10: I spend three months on A10's lawn as his watchdog. I bark and bite indiscriminately
Age 11: I meet and fall in love with Karlheinz Stockhausen. He is also quite taken with me. We begin a passionate romance.
Age 12: I discover my sister, Goal, has been living in my stomach for the last 12 years. She is removed by caesarean section. Also, I discover that boogers are, indeed, edible.
Age 13: I meet Flavio Ontivero
Arnold Layne
