Do you live with your mother?

[AAAAAAAAAA]

It's occurred to me that a high number of people in this forum live with their mothers. The question is, how high? I would peg it at about 50%. Discuss.

[ZenithMC]

Hahahahaha! Is this based on what I said? I had no idea that there were others here who did the same, except for, maybe, one or two other users.

[robocop]

I live in her house that is falling apart. She stays at my 96 year old grandmother's being her care taker. Comes to visit to bitch at me daily but most of the time left on my own to coom.

[NeverendingAbyss]

Yes and no. I live 4 hours away from them but I do depend on them for rent money (college).

There's an increase number of multigenerational households due to lack of affordable housing. I do think millenials and gen Z got fucked after the great recession. Gen X'ers made it just in time, but barely.

[robocop]

Some cultures its the norm. Just the US does it that way. Puts people down for saving money. Not like I'm looking to marry a girl.

[ZenithMC]

Some cultures its the norm.

Good point. Yeah, in the US, it tends to be looked down upon. Personally, I don't really care where, or with whom, people are living. The way I see it, it's very economical to share the household with others. The biggest plus is I don't have to pay my own property tax (in states that actually have property tax... NJ has the highest in the nation, I believe... )

[AAAAAAAAAA]

Some cultures its the norm.

Good point. Yeah, in the US, it tends to be looked down upon. Personally, I don't really care where, or with whom, people are living. The way I see it, it's very economical to share the household with others. The biggest plus is I don't have to pay my own property tax (in states that actually have property tax... NJ has the highest in the nation, I believe... )

Property tax, plus rent, utilities, groceries... It's actually a lot if you add it all up. I don't look down at somebody for living with their parents, since I think it could be very economical and practical under many circumstances.

although I think it's reasonable to contribute to the family expenses if you do so and are able to.

As I recall, Flavio also lives with his parents. So there you have it, everyone here is either living with their mom or is wholly or partially being supported by her

The reason I made this thread is because I've been living at home for a while too. My behavior constitutes the gray area between house sitting and mooching.

Have you noticed that the term "living at home" is a euphemism for "with your mother"?

[Motha-faka]

Yes, I can't sing but yes work with music.... this is strange, i have a studio here and i can't record covers why my stepfather break me the balls with the noises, he is close to die too, maybe by that he break me the balls all the time.

curiously i can mix and mastering music, and i dont have problems with this.

or maybe im horrible singing....

I'm takin care of my old parents. why i'm the only single in my family.... shit....

[NeverendingAbyss]

why i'm the only single in my family.

I have no idea bro.

No idea.

I expect to either go into grad school in 2022 or just start working. My gf finished her school and just needs to apply for her board examination. Either way, 2022 will be the year of complete independence (I hope ). Although I will have to repay the favor for my parents, which is alright with me.

Interestingly enough, I'm the only one in the family who's not married yet. That makes me as good as Flavio.

[ZenithMC]

As I recall, Flavio also lives with his parents. So there you have it, everyone here is either living with their mom or is wholly or partially being supported by her

Well I'll be... I thought I was one of the only ones here who was living with their parents. Guess I was wrong.

[AAAAAAAAAA]

As I recall, Flavio also lives with his parents. So there you have it, everyone here is either living with their mom or is wholly or partially being supported by her

Well I'll be... I thought I was one of the only ones here who was living with their parents. Guess I was wrong.

Maybe Pancio (Italian jesus) is the only independent one?

[robocop]

Anybody have failed attempts at being independent? I lived in NY for a month trying to start a band in 2005. (Did not work..LOL!)
Didn't have money for food and gas. Worked at Target at the Pallisades Mall in New Jersey. I felt high as a kite moving out. Still...

Epic fail!
(CRINGE. Sorry.)

[AAAAAAAAAA]

Anybody have failed attempts at being independent? I lived in NY for a month trying to start a band in 2005. (Did not work..LOL!)
Didn't have money for food and gas. Worked at Target at the Pallisades Mall in New Jersey. I felt high as a kite moving out. Still...

Epic fail!
(CRINGE. Sorry.)

I think moving out and being independent is cool when you're 18 because somehow you're convincing yourself you're a legitimate adult. At my age I don't really care. Been there done that and its more trouble than it's worth.

Ask yourself if you would have really been better off busting your ass at a Target to make rent next month, in some cramped little apartment in a noisy city. For your part, you didn't fail. You tried something new and realized it's not for you.

[ZenithMC]

Anybody have failed attempts at being independent?

I've never tried, myself, and for a good reason... I'd need to get a job and I don't want to! I don't want to sell myself into servitude where I have no time to enjoy my life, only slave away at work while barely making ends meet. Sounds like a terrible existence to me.

Even if I did have a stable income, I might still not move out. At least, not in this state I wouldn't. I actually have something to lose by moving out, as it is. Hell, even if I got lucky and became very successful, financially, I'd still not buy a property for myself. I'm very frugal! Okay, if I had to buy a property, I wouldn't choosing anything too fancy.

[NeverendingAbyss]

I've never tried, myself, and for a good reason... I'd need to get a job and I don't want to! I don't want to sell myself into servitude where I have no time to enjoy my life, only slave away at work while barely making ends meet. Sounds like a terrible existence to me.

What type of job would you go for, Z? If you tell yourself this is your last day working at this one particular job, then that job sucks. I had 3 previous jobs where I said this to myself constantly and promptly quit. Even though I enjoyed bonding with my coworkers, there was only one job that I really really enjoyed. It can get repetitive after a while, but you start to appreciate how much money you start saving. Furthermore the stress levels really go down when you have a stable income. Having health insurance is also a plus.

[AAAAAAAAAA]

I've never tried, myself, and for a good reason... I'd need to get a job and I don't want to! I don't want to sell myself into servitude where I have no time to enjoy my life, only slave away at work while barely making ends meet. Sounds like a terrible existence to me.

What type of job would you go for, Z? If you tell yourself this is your last day working at this one particular job, then that job sucks. I had 3 previous jobs where I said this to myself constantly and promptly quit. Even though I enjoyed bonding with my coworkers, there was only one job that I really really enjoyed. It can get repetitive after a while, but you start to appreciate how much money you start saving. Furthermore the stress levels really go down when you have a stable income. Having health insurance is also a plus.

Its so hard to find fulfillment working for others. Especially if your career is a big corporation with lots of smart people trying to clobber each other all the time.

But as you say, not working also has it's major shortcomings...

[ZenithMC]

What type of job would you go for, Z?

Whatever job that I decide to create for myself. I only wish to work on what interests me and I do not wish to work for somebody just for a paycheck. There needs to be passion involved, otherwise I'll be completely miserable.

I've never had a paying job. I've been a musician for 10 years and a composer for 12 years. However, according to my parents, those aren't real jobs, because I didn't get paid to write music, practice instruments, &c. Working on recording my album was also not a real job. They treated me like I wasn't doing anything important. They did not respect my schedule and instead asked me to drop everything and help them with something. Then, they get offended when I tell them I'm busy working. God damn it... "Get a job, Son... but if we need you to do something, then do our task instead."

I just don't want to end up like my father, who had a family to support and raise, and thus, had to stick with his sickeningly stressful job while dealing with his incompetent schmuck co-workers and irascible conceited clientele for over 30 years. Every day he comes home from work, he acts like he wants to shove his head into a wall. It's funny and sad at the same time...

Furthermore the stress levels really go down when you have a stable income. Having health insurance is also a plus.

I live a relatively stress-free life as it is, minus the stressful situations my parents like to create. I've found that the best way to mitigate that source of stress is to make myself scarce around them.

[rant]
I'll be honest, I hate the way the "system" works and I hate the concept of insurance, and more generally, middlemen / third-parties. Unfortunately, this is the way things will be for the duration of my lifetime. It seems to me that insurance acts to artificially inflate the cost of whatever it is supposedly insuring against. The businesses will just assume you have insurance and that insurance companies will foot a large portion of the bill, and so are incentivized to charge an arm and a leg for their services. People without insurance get absolutely fucked.

In a hypothetical world where insurance companies do not exist, the businesses can only rely on their customers directly for payment of their services, and thus, must price their services affordably/reasonably. Maybe it's more complicated than this and I'm just a dumb-ass, but this theory doesn't seem too far-fetched in my mind.

Same thing should happen for the legal system. Lawyers shouldn't need to exist. Interpreting and understanding laws should be simple. Laws should be able to be completely understood by layfolk and the only way to achieve that is to reform our currently convoluted system & existing laws (a gargantuan task). Ideally, people should be able to easily represent themselves in court.

Anyway, I realize that's all a bunch of pie-in-the-sky idealistic bullshit, but I'm dissatisfied with the status quo.

Something even more unrelated would be my feelings on minimum wage. It bothers me when dumb high school and college kids advocate for increasing the minimum wage. It's also what trade unions advocate for, and unions, while well-intentioned, seem to cause more problems than they solve, in general. If they understood economics, they'd quickly realize that, while in the short term their dollar appears to be worth more, eventually, the cost that businesses bear by having to pay increased minimum wage will be passed on to the consumer, and we'll be right back at square one. Minimum wage should just be eliminated all together. It just serves to inflate the dollar every time it is increased. Your money would go further without it. And besides, minimum wage jobs are meant to be temporary positions for entry-level workers, not life-long career positions... ugh! Want better pay? Either negotiate your salary with your higher-ups or make yourself more valuable to companies such that you're promoted to a greater than entry-level job.
[/rant]

[AAAAAAAAAA]

What type of job would you go for, Z?

Whatever job that I decide to create for myself. I only wish to work on what interests me and I do not wish to work for somebody just for a paycheck. There needs to be passion involved, otherwise I'll be completely miserable.

I've never had a paying job. I've been a musician for 10 years and a composer for 12 years. However, according to my parents, those aren't real jobs, because I didn't get paid to write music, practice instruments, &c. Working on recording my album was also not a real job. They treated me like I wasn't doing anything important. They did not respect my schedule and instead asked me to drop everything and help them with something. Then, they get offended when I tell them I'm busy working. God damn it... "Get a job, Son... but if we need you to do something, then do our task instead."

Well, it goes without saying that if they are your parents and they are covering your rent, groceries, bills, and pocket money (or some subset of those), you do (morally) owe them something, in light of the vast benefits you receive.

If you've been a musician/composer for 12 years and haven't made serious money or released a formidable catalogue of music, it would not remiss to say this is really a hobby that could lead to a career, rather than your actual livelihood with a busy touring schedule, clients, etc.

So without me having a full understanding of the situation, its not that inappropriate for your parents to treat your work as a hobby (for now) right? Of course their perspective could change if you release and successfully promote the material demonstrating its commercial viability, and have to structure your work schedule in a way that does not handle interruptions well.

[AAAAAAAAAA]

I just don't want to end up like my father, who had a family to support and raise, and thus, had to stick with his sickeningly stressful job while dealing with his incompetent schmuck co-workers and irascible conceited clientele for over 30 years. Every day he comes home from work, he acts like he wants to shove his head into a wall. It's funny and sad at the same time...

Nobody wants to do that, but at the same time- that's what most of us have to do. After all, you wouldn't have that roof over your head if your father hadn't. Imagine if after you were born, he pursued passion projects for the next few decades instead? His work seems miserable, but people have toiled in incredibly brutal conditions for tens of thousands of years for much, much less.

Now we have the privilege of saying, 'but the work isn't fun!". I don't blame you at all though, because your attitude is very similar to my own. I think both of us don't do those things because we don't have to. In your case, your parents don't force you- so why would you? The incentive structure isn't there.

[ZenithMC]

Well, it goes without saying that if they are your parents and they are covering your rent, groceries, bills, and pocket money (or some subset of those), you do (morally) owe them something, in light of the vast benefits you receive.

I'm indebted to them more than just morally, actually. I need to pay off my recording equipment.

If you've been a musician/composer for 12 years and haven't made serious money or released a formidable catalogue of music, it would not remiss to say this is really a hobby that could lead to a career, rather than your actual livelihood with a busy touring schedule, clients, etc.

So it's a hobby unless money is exchanged? I'm sorry, but I just do not see it that way. Hard work is hard work. I don't discriminate or try to find a distinction for it.

The barrier to entry for a musician or composer is incredibly steep. When I first started out, I completely sucked at it. Of course, I was a 12 year old kid at the time. Fast forward up to just a few years ago, my music is finally starting to sound amazing to me. Writing a good song is not exactly easy, nor is it a given (although, at this stage in the game, I could probably wing it and it'll come out pretty decent. Probably won't wow me, though). Many of my greatest compositions came to me in bursts of inspiration.

I also didn't have recording equipment up until just a couple of years ago. I'm not going to sell my music as MIDIs. I didn't want to book sessions in a studio. I'd be too nervous around the staff to perform my parts well; I need to do this stuff alone.

So without me having a full understanding of the situation, its not that inappropriate for your parents to treat your work as a hobby (for now) right? Of course their perspective could change if you release and successfully promote the material demonstrating its commercial viability, and have to structure your work schedule in a way that does not handle interruptions well.

I think it's completely inappropriate. How am I supposed to work towards my career if they keep preventing me from working and treating my work as a hobby? It's not like I can just leave and record my album elsewhere. Actually, this is why I had to move all of my recording equipment into my room, so they don't see me down stairs on the couch with guitar in hand and equipment on and think that I'm doing fuck all. "Son, turn that down, we can't hear the TV." (they're in a different room than me) I can't change their minds if I "release and successfully promote the material demonstrating its commercial viability" until it's actually finished; it's paradoxical.

Nobody wants to do that, but at the same time- that's what most of us have to do. After all, you wouldn't have that roof over your head if your father hadn't. Imagine if after you were born, he pursued passion projects for the next few decades instead? His work seems miserable, but people have toiled in incredibly brutal conditions for tens of thousands of years for much, much less.

My father should have found a job that he really loved before they decided to have me. This is why I don't want to have kids until I know that I have a job that brings me joy, is stable and secure, and pays me well enough to support my family and future children. I simply will not settle for less.

Now we have the privilege of saying, 'but the work isn't fun!". I don't blame you at all though, because your attitude is very similar to my own. I think both of us don't do those things because we don't have to. In your case, your parents don't force you- so why would you? The incentive structure isn't there.

Very true!

[NeverendingAbyss]

So it's a hobby unless money is exchanged? I'm sorry, but I just do not see it that way. Hard work is hard work. I don't discriminate or try to find a distinction for it.

https://www.dictionary.com/browse/hobby
https://www.dictionary.com/browse/occupation

In a sense, yes. I am sure that any of the Strato guys will tell you that they would rather find a job than to create something that has no income especially when there are bills to be paid. See the current situation. They're not working on the album until the pandemic ends because they rely on tours for income. I don't blame them for deferring their album release for another year. No income means you cannot pay for equipment and software to make music, a roof to live under while you compose, food to keep your inspiration going, electricity to make your computer run, etc...

With that said, there's no need to sell your equipment unless you stop using it. You can still stride to create your music. I would advise you to not mix job and hobby as one. They're different. You can still put a lot of work into a hobby. I know a couple of car guys who have probably invested half of their lives tuning and modding cars.

How am I supposed to work towards my career if they keep preventing me from working and treating my work as a hobby? It's not like I can just leave and record my album elsewhere.

I think you are on the right path, but you just need to make the next step. I can't tell you what that is since it's not my field of expertise. Have you talked to any other band members about their careers and how they started? Make connections and hopefully you'll get an answer.

My father should have found a job that he really loved before they decided to have me. This is why I don't want to have kids until I know that I have a job that brings me joy, is stable and secure, and pays me well enough to support my family and future children. I simply will not settle for less.

I used to say the same about my father. He should have done this, he should have done that. The truth is that your father loves you even if he has some shortcomings. I'll agree, you have to be ready before you have kids. However, note how he has supported you over the years. He has no obligation to take care of you after you turn 18. Be grateful for what he has given to you.

[ZenithMC]

Hobby: an activity or interest pursued for pleasure or relaxation and not as a main occupation.
Occupation: a person's usual or principal work or business, especially as a means of earning a living.

Recording an album is not something I'd consider to be a leisurely activity. It's a lot of work. Playing video games, for me, is a hobby. It is fun and relaxing, and it doesn't exhaust me like recording does. Listening to music is also a hobby. I can just sit back, chill out, and not lift a finger doing it. Note that the definition of occupation does not necessitate payment in exchange for the work. Work is work. Period.

I am sure that any of the Strato guys will tell you that they would rather find a job than to create something that has no income especially when there are bills to be paid. See the current situation. They're not working on the album until the pandemic ends because they rely on tours for income.

Yes, as mentioned by A10 and robocop in a different thread, the Strato guys are busy working on other things in the mean time. Matias is busy producing other bands' albums, Rolf has a service as a drum tutor, &c... As for me, I'm not in a position where I need to pay bills. I have no living expenses. I can pursue artistic endeavors with no repercussions. I plan on selling my music once finished, of course. That leads me to the next point...

How am I supposed to work towards my career if they keep preventing me from working and treating my work as a hobby? It's not like I can just leave and record my album elsewhere.

Well, once my album is recorded and fully mixed & mastered, I can promote it, sell it, and profit from it. People can listen to my album and if they like the way it was produced, I'll offer to produce their albums, if they wish. It will open up several new opportunities for me. Then, I'll be able to afford a separate space to record my subsequent records.

I used to say the same about my father. He should have done this, he should have done that. The truth is that your father loves you even if he has some shortcomings. I'll agree, you have to be ready before you have kids. However, note how he has supported you over the years. He has no obligation to take care of you after you turn 18. Be grateful for what he has given to you.

This is not a question of love. Despite our somewhat distant relationship, he obviously loves me otherwise he would've kicked my ass to the curb years ago. It is about making prudent decisions. He may have had to suffer through his aggravating job to support me, but I do not wish to have to do the same. Believe me, I'm not a snot-nosed-gimme-gimme kind of guy. In addition to paying back every penny that was spent on my equipment, if things work out for me, I've already promised to help him retire from his crappy employment and live the rest of his life in comfort.

[AAAAAAAAAA]

So it's a hobby unless money is exchanged? I'm sorry, but I just do not see it that way. Hard work is hard work. I don't discriminate or try to find a distinction for it. [...I think it's completely inappropriate. How am I supposed to work towards my career if they keep preventing me from working and treating my work as a hobby? It's not like I can just leave and record my album elsewhere.

Well, by that definition- playing Minecraft very intensively for ten hours a day could be considered a job. Your case is a bit different though, because you are aspiring to make money later and doing the legwork now. As you say, there is some barrier to entry in the music world.

I suppose its impossible for me to weigh in without knowing exactly what they are asking of you and in what way they are imposing upon you. It might seem that if you've had your recording equipment for several years and have not released an album yet, your progress hasn't been swift. But you mentioned earlier that you find it challenging to complete things on a schedule, so it might be some combination of your parents intervention and your own proclivities. Maybe the problem with your parents is a communication issue? For example, maybe outlining a structured schedule of what you hope to accomplish and by when would help them see things from your perspective, while also keeping yourself honest.

My father should have found a job that he really loved before they decided to have me. This is why I don't want to have kids until I know that I have a job that brings me joy, is stable and secure, and pays me well enough to support my family and future children. I simply will not settle for less.

Your sentiment is admirable but what you're asking for is too idealistic. There would be no janitors, dentists (I know...), cashiers, and insurance agents if we all had the mindset that loving our job and being fulfilled from it would be a prerequisite. We would all end up being musicians, artists, dancers, and chefs, which is great except we need so much more to keep our society moving forward.

In general, if you do things that are creative, independent, and fun, you pay a very steep price as far as job security, benefits, salary, etc. So the roof over your head and your recording equipment, you owe to your father's decision to bite the bullet and do what needs to be done.

I used to live in a poor neighborhood, mostly Hispanic, and one time I went to the nearby 7-11 at nearly 6AM. I was shocked: it was totally packed, with a huge line of people getting their morning coffee before heading off to work in a miserable job they are more than happy to do (janitors, cleaning crew, construction, restaurant). Meanwhile, I sitting around at home jacking off to Carls Jr commercials (just kidding but you know what i mean). No minimum wage for these folks, no benefits. Just doing everything they can to make ends meet for themselves and their families. You can't tell these people, "sucks for you! you couldn't find a job that brings you joy!". It would seem incredibly arrogant and entitled.

Imagine if I were to step inside your father's mind and try to imagine what he is thinking about the situation. Disclaimer: if the below seems incredibly harsh or unfair, it probably is. I'm not claiming the below as reality, but instead how your parents might see the situation:

Your father toils in an unfulfilling job to provide for his family. Rather than earning appreciation or respect for his sacrifice, we downplay his efforts on the grounds that its really his choice and a reflection of his failure to find a fulfilling job. Kind of adding insult to injury, isn't it? Meanwhile, his son is bumming around on the couch doing N64 speedruns and sporadically recording music with no real sense of urgency to monetize, become independent, or contribute back to the family. Attempts to ask him to do family chores backfire badly on the grounds that they are disrupting his schedule, even though by his own admission it would take him forever to release his music even without said disruptions.

Again, not saying the above is true, but that's what might be going on in his head. Anyway, i'm not here to lambast or criticize you. I have heard your music and know you have great talent and potential. Looking forward to seeing you get what you deserve. I still think my earlier suggestion to outline a timeline of what you plan to accomplish and by when, in as specific terms as possible, with financial projections, would help your parents understand your gameplan (while also keeping you on track).

[NeverendingAbyss]

I'm not in a position where I need to pay bills. I have no living expenses. I can pursue artistic endeavors with no repercussions. I plan on selling my music once finished, of course.

If I may add a piece of advice, take advantage of that but don't get too comfortable. Life can change on a whim as we have seen with COVID. I too enjoyed that part of life, but I quickly found myself in need to find a job to help the family right after the recession. After a week of graduating from HS, my dad found a job for me at a warehouse. I hated working there and I had to take the bus (1.5 hr trip since I had to make 3 connections), but the money made meant we could pay rent for another month.

I don't think having a part-time job will hinder your music dreams. I think it may help you. It will set a routine for you, a schedule.

Anyway, don't think we are attacking you or anything. You're part of the forum and we just like to see members doing well.

[ZenithMC]

Your sentiment is admirable but what you're asking for is too idealistic. There would be no janitors, dentists (I know...), cashiers, and insurance agents if we all had the mindset that loving our job and being fulfilled from it would be a prerequisite. We would all end up being musicians, artists, dancers, and chefs, which is great except we need so much more to keep our society moving forward.

That's fine and all, but my sentiment pertains to me and me alone. There are people who have, and will, settle for less. However, those that are uncompromising tend to have enormous egos, like yours truly, and become artists instead.

I suppose its impossible for me to weigh in without knowing exactly what they are asking of you and in what way they are imposing upon you. It might seem that if you've had your recording equipment for several years and have not released an album yet, your progress hasn't been swift. But you mentioned earlier that you find it challenging to complete things on a schedule, so it might be some combination of your parents intervention and your own proclivities. Maybe the problem with your parents is a communication issue? For example, maybe outlining a structured schedule of what you hope to accomplish and by when would help them see things from your perspective, while also keeping yourself honest.

There's always something going wrong. Too much noise outside, too hot & humid inside for my equipment, &c. Can only record during the day due to noise concerns. Needing new strings, having to redo takes because of production errors or hardware errors, rehearsing my parts &c. On top of it all is having to do the job of many (such as in a studio) as a single person. I did have a schedule at one point, but keeping on track was ruined due to heat and humidity concerns.

I used to live in a poor neighborhood, mostly Hispanic, and one time I went to the nearby 7-11 at nearly 6AM. I was shocked: it was totally packed, with a huge line of people getting their morning coffee before heading off to work in a miserable job they are more than happy to do (janitors, cleaning crew, construction, restaurant). Meanwhile, I sitting around at home jacking off to Carls Jr commercials (just kidding but you know what i mean). No minimum wage for these folks, no benefits. Just doing everything they can to make ends meet for themselves and their families. You can't tell these people, "sucks for you! you couldn't find a job that brings you joy!". It would seem incredibly arrogant and entitled.

Well, if they enjoy doing those jobs, what's the problem? Are they complaining about it on a daily basis or no? Are they actually miserable doing those jobs or do you just think they are miserable because you think they're miserable jobs? Maybe providing for their families is what brings them the most joy and they'd do any job in order to achieve that. And, again, it was their decisions to have families in the first place. They became obligated to support their families because of their own decisions. Would I come off as arrogant and entitled for saying that I wish not to do those tasks? If I do, then so be it. I would never say "sucks for you! you couldn't find a job that brings you joy!" I don't even know their genuine feelings about their jobs, so that would be me making assumptions, anyway. Listen, all you need to know is that I'm a little bitch who's picky about the jobs I'm willing to partake in.

Imagine if I were to step inside your father's mind and try to imagine what he is thinking about the situation. Disclaimer: if the below seems incredibly harsh or unfair, it probably is. I'm not claiming the below as reality, but instead how your parents might see the situation:

Your father toils in an unfulfilling job to provide for his family. Rather than earning appreciation or respect for his sacrifice, we downplay his efforts on the grounds that its really his choice and a reflection of his failure to find a fulfilling job. Kind of adding insult to injury, isn't it? Meanwhile, his son is bumming around on the couch doing N64 speedruns and sporadically recording music with no real sense of urgency to monetize, become independent, or contribute back to the family. Attempts to ask him to do family chores backfire badly on the grounds that they are disrupting his schedule, even though by his own admission it would take him forever to release his music even without said disruptions.

Again, not saying the above is true, but that's what might be going on in his head. Anyway, i'm not here to lambast or criticize you. I have heard your music and know you have great talent and potential. Looking forward to seeing you get what you deserve. I still think my earlier suggestion to outline a timeline of what you plan to accomplish and by when, in as specific terms as possible, with financial projections, would help your parents understand your gameplan (while also keeping you on track).

Oh my god! You weren't kidding when you said that the below would seem incredibly harsh or unfair. That fucking hurt me a little! In my defense, I was right in the middle of doing a bass guitar take when they asked me to help them out, and they knew it, too. And, if it wasn't my father's choice, then who's was it? Who's responsible for the job he has now? I am known to play the vidyas often... Your suggestions are valuable, though. Thanks for those!

Anyway, don't think we are attacking you or anything. You're part of the forum and we just like to see members doing well.

I know. I love you guys. I'd give you all a hug if I could.

[AAAAAAAAAA]

Well, if they enjoy doing those jobs, what's the problem? Are they complaining about it on a daily basis or no? Are they actually miserable doing those jobs or do you just think they are miserable because you think they're miserable jobs?

Sorry if I was unclear. I meant they are miserable jobs by the standards of us spoiled suburbanites. I didn't mean to imply that they are miserable doing those jobs (necessarily). For them its a struggle for survival and they just do what they need to do for their families- its not about soul searching and finding fulfillment.

I just brought that up as an example to contrast that with your own attitude (and my own as well). We have relatively "privileged" lives (I hate that word but you know what I mean) so there is no incentive to do that kind of labor.

Would I come off as arrogant and entitled for saying that I wish not to do those tasks? If I do, then so be it. I would never say "sucks for you! you couldn't find a job that brings you joy!" I don't even know their genuine feelings about their jobs, so that would be me making assumptions, anyway. Listen, all you need to know is that I'm a little bitch who's picky about the jobs I'm willing to partake in.

Definitely not arrogant. Entitled, maybe a bit (but only in the strictest sense of the word and not in a condescending way). I mean, lets face it, you don't have to work those jobs because of your parents support- I wouldn't expect you or someone in your position to do that.

Oh my god! You weren't kidding when you said that the below would seem incredibly harsh or unfair. That fucking hurt me a little! In my defense, I was right in the middle of doing a bass guitar take when they asked me to help them out, and they knew it, too.

Ok, my bad. I probably went a bit overboard there and I apologize. Anyway, it was meant to be an autistic mental exercise of the structural underpinnings of your parental conflict, more than an indictment of your character. Sorry if I missed the mark there.

And, if it wasn't my father's choice, then who's was it? Who's responsible for the job he has now?

Yeah, he is ultimately responsible for his situation, I can't deny that. I just don't think of his situation as some kind of blundered attempt at career, a product of miscalculations or a lack of ambition, vision, or foresight. I think his circumstances are the status quo for almost all working people, and very few will break out of that. We just need to recognize and appreciate the sacrifices our parents made, that's all I was trying to say. Of course, not trying to imply that you don't.

[robocop]

I don't have anything to add here other than sometimes we forget lots and lots of people DO NOT have the choice of wanting to pursue things they love. Either due to both parents deceased having no support system, or maybe they kicked them to the curb. All I mean is be grateful for what you have now and what skills you have, some people are in absolute hell. (Not down playing things, it is just something I try to remember.)

A10: the thing you said about the fail, at the time it felt like failure. I did not have my priorities in check. Long story.

[Linnette Gray]

I don't have anything to add here other than sometimes we forget lots and lots of people DO NOT have the choice of wanting to pursue things they love. Either due to both parents deceased having no support system, or maybe they kicked them to the curb. All I mean is be grateful for what you have now and what skills you have, some people are in absolute hell. (Not down playing things, it is just something I try to remember.)

A10: the thing you said about the fail, at the time it felt like failure. I did not have my priorities in check. Long story.

That is true, we always complain about our lives when others have the worst. We should always be grateful

[Robocop 2.0]

No, but my parents live rather near

Have you noticed that the term "living at home" is a euphemism for "with your mother"?

I think it's rather (very) common in Finland to say that/see it that way.