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The Art Of Seppuku
Posted: Wed May 05, 2004 1:28 am
by Lucid Faia
"Seppuku" is the ancient art of killing yourself if you get super pissed and can’t find anybody else to kill. Ninjas use all sorts of crap to kill themselves—guns, ropes, knives, lasers, spears, etc.—and don’t even think twice about it. These guys would kill themselves for just about any reason and often for no reason at all: that’s why we there are so few ninjas today.
But if you want to commit Seppuku and you’re like me, you don’t have access to stuff like lasers. But there’s hope. I tried to kill myself by swallowing a frisbee a couple of times—and believe me, it’s pretty cool. The only catch is you have to be really super pissed to do it.
Step 1 Get a frisbee from the store or friend.
Step 2 Clean the Frisbee.
Step 3 Make sure your parents aren’t around.
Step 4 Put something slippery on it, like butter or cream.
Step 5 Get really super pissed.
Step 6 Fold the Frisbee hard (This is crucial).
Step 7 Keep folded and insert Frisbee into mouth hard.
Step 8 Push hard until you can’t see it.
Step 9 Wait.
Step 10 Die.
If you succeed, everybody will be like, "HOLY CRAP!
Re: The Art Of Seppuku
Posted: Wed May 05, 2004 1:35 am
by Lightyear
:pissed4: :pissed5:

Re: The Art Of Seppuku
Posted: Wed May 05, 2004 1:53 am
by Stratobanger
Ok, now this is weird
*Kids don't try this at home*
Re: Re: The Art Of Seppuku
Posted: Wed May 05, 2004 2:05 am
by Lucid Faia
[/quote]
Re: The Art Of Seppuku
Posted: Wed May 05, 2004 2:42 pm
by Veripalttu
I tried to choke a no friend of mine with different methods, because she cant shut the hell up, but it hasn't worked. Maybe your technique with the frisbee might work.
Re: The Art Of Seppuku
Posted: Wed May 05, 2004 5:26 pm
by ElDiablo
Veripalltu: Try the art of bukkake to her.
Re: The Art Of Seppuku
Posted: Wed May 12, 2004 5:36 pm
by GreenPeace
Weren't the samurai the ones who comitted seppuku?
Veripalltu: Try the art of bukkake to her.
Isn't that a little... uh... "overkill"... know what I mean?
There's a tricky way of dying. Really. It's lethal, so if any of you want to try it PUH-LEASE DON'T BLAME ME FOR THE CONSEQUENCES. I CANNOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR ANYTHING THAT MAY HAPPEN TO YOU IF YOU DO. Thank you.
1. Get a really quick-flashing stroboscopic light.
2. Turn it on.
3. Look incessantly at it.
4. Don't blink.
5. Start twitching.
6. No, don't even think of blinking.
7. Have a convulsion.
8. Say hello to Jesus for me, a'ight? (ignore this step if not christian)
--OR--
1. Provoke yourself a great deal (aka a shitload) of pain, but no real damage.
2. Hyperventilate (the greater the pain, the easier)
3. Enter an alcalotic state.
4. Die.
IMPORTANT: IF YOU TRY HARD ENOUGH, THESE METHODS MIGHT TRULY KILL YOU. TAKE EVERYTHING WRITTEN AS A DAMN JOKE, SO I WON'T GET SUED FOR ANYTHING.
Re: The Art Of Seppuku
Posted: Mon Oct 11, 2004 6:10 pm
by HvyMtlClickWitch
Hahahaha......R.U.P. quotations are appreciated.
Here's a fun one. My friend maurice is a retard and made this site.
http://www.mississippigoddamn.com
Re: The Art Of Seppuku
Posted: Wed Oct 13, 2004 11:16 am
by iron_thunder
That's so odd that there's a thread about this... A long time ago I was friends with these people who were sort of obsessed with that type of things (had katanas and stuff lying around the house), and when someone had done something dishonerable we would have to commit pretend seppuku. No disrepect was meant by "pretend" seppuku,:oops: it was just.... fun... or whatever...
anyway i haven't thought of that in ages... weird.
EDIT: Uh, only it wasn't with frisbees, it was with imaginary swords... obviously... people, research the real thing, hehe...
Re: The Art Of Seppuku
Posted: Sat Dec 11, 2004 7:04 am
by JacksonRR-3
hey next time just dont take it from
www.realultimatepower.net
ive seen it.its about ninjas and why they are so sweet.
nice try though
Re: The Art Of Seppuku
Posted: Sat Dec 11, 2004 7:42 am
by So Death May Die
This thread has almost reached popularity... and that's bragable!

Re: The Art Of Seppuku
Posted: Sat Dec 11, 2004 5:11 pm
by HvyMtlClickWitch

Very bragable indeed!
I bet that if this thread reaches popularity, everyone will be like "holy crap!"
Re: The Art Of Seppuku
Posted: Sun Dec 12, 2004 12:40 am
by So Death May Die
I know I'd totally flip out and start wailing on my (bass) guitar... Pirates beware.
Re: The Art Of Seppuku
Posted: Sun Dec 12, 2004 7:25 am
by Lucid Faia
JacksonRR-3 wrote:hey next time just dont take it from
www.realultimatepower.net
ive seen it.its about ninjas and why they are so sweet.
nice try though
Nice job bumping a topic over half a year old, slick.
Re: The Art Of Seppuku
Posted: Sun Dec 12, 2004 11:23 am
by So Death May Die
Wow... good work Jackson

j/k
Well at least I got a little laugh out of the thread... even if it's old and revived by a n00b for no reason.
