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Young geography teacher starts her first lesson, a bit under stress and hesistant:
- Good morning children, today I am going to tell you something about globe.
- Get lost you old fu#$!g bi$#h ! - scream all the kids.
With tears in her eyes she runs out of the class straight to the headmaster's room to complain.
- Well, my dear colleague - trying to calm her down - I'll show you how should we treat with them.
- Hi, you little bastards - says headmasters as they return to the classroom.
- Hi, you old sucker - replies children.
- Today you learn how to put a condom on the globe.
- The globe? - ask astonished kids - What the fu#! is the globe?
- That's what we start with !

My alcohol induced clarity will allow me to say, that is probably the most apallingly awful joke i've ever read or heard anywhere.

Keep up the good work!

really? I thought it's funny. A bit of psychology and advice for teachers, with tongue in cheek, of course. No offense was meant.
I start this topic for telling jokes, but it looks like there are no other to share... I know, my topics sucks...

gee cop your eyes are glazed have you been eating doughnuts???

I'm sorry. I don't know any jokes.

Oh wait. I know one joke but it sucks.

What did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? "See you next month!"

Holy mother of Dio, that's so horrible.

(1717+15)

@Witch: at first I was wondering, why was this funny? Was it another bad American joke? Then after 6 seconds...

lol. Me too!

Shite joke alert: Did you hear about the magic tractor?
It turned into a field.

OK if this is the lame joke area.....

Why didn't the skeleton jump off the cliff?

Cos he had no guts!

Wow, there is just shit here!!!!
Well, here comes another:

What did the skeleton say to the barman?

"Please, give me a BEER and a BUCKET"

Why does the dumb woman masturbate with only one hand?



Because with the other one she moans!!!!

Why did the little girl fall off the swing?

Because she had no arms.

Anyone know any dead baby jokes? I used to have a slew of them, but i seem to have forgotten them all...I love dead baby jokes.

What is a red dot on a cradle?

A baby chewing a knife.

HvyMtlClickWitch wrote:What did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? "See you next month!"

That was bad.

I think this is one hell of a big joke:

http://www.landoverbaptist.org/

Equinox wrote:What is a red dot on a cradle?

A baby chewing a knife.

and what is a green dot on a cradle?

The same baby week later.

Why did the man fall off his bicycle?

Because someone threw a fridge at him.

@Witch: That is sick and funny

NeonVomit wrote:Why did the man fall off his bicycle?

Because someone threw a fridge at him.

WTF?

Some moron in one of my classes today turned around randomly and told me a joke. As if i've ever spoken to him. Point being, it SUCKED. So here it is:

What do you call four Spanish women who can't swim?

Quatro sinko.

Oh, the PAIN!!

-Mommy, mommy i don't like my grandapa...

-Shut up and keep eating.

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-Mommy i will play with my grandma.

-Ok, but put her on her cofee when you are done with her.

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-Daddy, Daddy, i want a bicycle for my birthday.

-*Sigh, why don't you ask for a pair of legs first, STUPID!

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*A kid is riding his bicycle at the front of his house.

-Look mom, i am riding without hands!....
Look mom, i am riding without legs!...
Look mom, i am riding without Teeths!...

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*The phone rings...
*A woman gets the phone...
-Hi....
-Hi, we are calling from the hospital, sadly, your husband had an accident, please come ASAP to the hospital.
*The woman goes to the hospital...
-OH god, hi doctor what happened to my husband oh god *cries, please tell me that he doesn't have problems from his belly to his legs...
-No no, mrs, don't worry your husband doesnt have problems there.
-Oh thanks good!, but how do you know that doctor?
-Cuz we don't have that part from his body here in the hospital yet, only his head.

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Sorry for the bad jokes and for the bad english

What's worse than 20 babies in a bin?
One baby in twenty bins.

Ithankyouverymuch!

But wait! There's more!

What sits at the end of the bed and takes the piss?
- Kidney dialysis machine.

What's the only part of a vegetable you can't eat?
- The wheelchair.

What's blue and fucks grannies?
- Hypothermia.

Oh yeah also... *points to sig*

And while we're on that topic:

What do you call a Japanese car thief?
- Tomitukamota

What do you call two Spannish firemen?
- Hose and Hose B

What do you call a Russian naked barbed wire hurdler?
- Itora Bollokov

Oh there's more. Believe me.

A criminal commanded his gang to plunder Judas Priest singer:
"Rob Halford!"

What do you call an Indian Karaoke champion?
- Gerrupta Singh

*Question - How sick are we going for in this topic?

HvyMtlClickWitch wrote:Anyone know any dead baby jokes? I used to have a slew of them, but i seem to have forgotten them all...I love dead baby jokes.

whats the difference between a cadillac and a plie of dead babies?

...

I dont have a cadillac in my garage......

I had a friend I knew at my old school who had a list of about 100 of them, thats the only i remeber though...

HvyMtlClickWitch wrote:
What did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? "See you next month!"

*pukes*


sigh, i love joke topics. rock on, kids. i'll try to think of some when i'm less lazy and tired!


EDIT: I know tons of dead baby jokes, but... I'm too PC to say any of them ... Before the site got shut down, some people at my highschool frequented deadbabyjokes.com ... including some of the teachers... (it was that kind of school).
That cadillac one was a favorite.