Stratovarius Community

Different points of view – is it good or bad? On the one hand it’s good because if two people are too similar to each other so they could feel boredom. On the other hand it’s bad because if two people are too different so they have no topics to talk. So my question is: what is that border between "we are not similar to each other" and "we are different"?

good question.

i strongly believe in equilibrium. if your partner is "identical" to you, then the relationship could turn monotonous and predictable, sparkless.
The same if you are completely different. You will obviously have constant fights and a terrible lack of comprehension that will lead you to an "ego war".

So where's the border? You have to reach it by yourself to notice how far you've gone.

Being soulmates doesn't mean that you have to think the same things, like the same things, hate the same things, etc. Being soulmates is more into tolerance, respect and obviously love. So i rather be "moderately different" to my girl than identical

How could a guy ever be identical to a girl? I refer to the topic: What Women Want?

However, I think the main point is, that you need to be open to the opinions of your partner and willing to at least try to comprehend. Then different opinions or interests are not such a big problem.

Heiserich wrote:How could a guy ever be identical to a girl?

AMEN!!!!

Thanks!

And so another question is: can you respect people that have different and even opposite points of view?

Emm well, I think this is a very general question. When it comes to friends, of course you can, but it's harder to deal with opposite points of view with someone you are closer to.

OK, so another question is: if you're very close to your mother but she has an opposite point of view to religion for instance? What would you do? Will you respect her or maybe you'll say: fuck off, you're an old silly woman? I'm exaggerating but... what would you do???

I would probably accept and tolerate her views about religion, but I wouldn't respect them. Just because you tolerate something and let someone do or believe what they want doesn't mean that you have to respect that.

Stealth wrote:I would probably accept and tolerate her views about religion, but I wouldn't respect them. Just because you tolerate something and let someone do or believe what they want doesn't mean that you have to respect that.

YESSSSS!!!!! You've got it!!! Amen!

Of course you'll respect HER but not her OPINION! to respect and to accept are not the same! Now you understand me too I hope. We've just understood each other...

Do I get a pat on the back and a lollipop?

Stealth wrote:Do I get a pat on the back and a lollipop?

You'll get your lollipop in the evening

EDIT: but I still want to hear opinions of another "forum citizens" Especially Nepi.

Well here is nepi
Notice: I have written this post after I read Morgana's post "OK, so another question ...."and it is a reply of the posts before.

what is that border between "we are not similar to each other" and "we are different"?

I think it is important than both have any same interests and any different interests. But if they have 80% different interests, then it's getting harder.
Somebody told me once a story about a girl with her boyfriend. He was a truck driver and so he always told about his driving days and such –for a girl- really boring stuff. They aren't in relationship now and I really can understand her. Girls aren't interesting in trucker days, military weeks and footbal .
But if you have only the same interests, it isn't interesting either because you have always the same opinion, you can't discuss about things, can always say "yes, that's good for me" and so on. It has to exist a gap between the persons, just a small one and this gap makes a relationship more interesting (if it isn't too big! Otherwise, the sides turns to more boring).
I suppose it has to be a line between these two points and this line must find everybody for him-/herself. Your heart will tell it to you…

How could a guy ever be identical to a girl?

Maybe with make-up and the right dress

if you're very close to your mother but she has an opposite point of view…

Well that's a good point. To have different opinions with somebody who is close to you, you can talk and discuss with her. It will be a problem maybe if the other is a Mr. know-it-all, then you can't discuss very good finally.
My mother is religious too (I am a religious too but not as religious as my mum is) and she has a very different meaning to the metal music and the guys who produce this awesome stuff as me. But I always respect her opinion and can tell her in which point she is wrong (I always have right then and my father is on my side because he listen metal too so she has a very hard stand of discussion ) and in which ones I see it as she does. We discussed a lot about it and we have still different opinions about it.
My motto always is: respect each other like the person is! Or with the words of DT: Take me as I am! - And it's good to live this way

what would you do???

In this way, live your life and let she lives her live. Respect her opinion – that doesn't have to mean that you have to share this opinion.

Respect every person, it doesn't matter if he has totally different opinions than you ("take me as I am...). If everybody would respect other persons and cultures, our world would be more peaceful.
It's sad but true: I know a lot of people who don't respect other people…

People have their own way of working and existing. Sure being with someone who is identical to you is never good, you'll just get bored of them. Someone a little different though might be enough.

It depends on the endless complexity of two infinately complex persons fitting together.

neonlightchild wrote:good question.

i strongly believe in equilibrium. if your partner is "identical" to you, then the relationship could turn monotonous and predictable, sparkless.
The same if you are completely different. You will obviously have constant fights and a terrible lack of comprehension that will lead you to an "ego war".

So where's the border? You have to reach it by yourself to notice how far you've gone.

Being soulmates doesn't mean that you have to think the same things, like the same things, hate the same things, etc. Being soulmates is more into tolerance, respect and obviously love. So i rather be "moderately different" to my girl than identical

+5
AMEN, to all you said! *high-five&thumbs-up*

However, there are some immature souls who think a person has to agree with everything they say, or their ego gets bashed.(My Ex ) I mean, there are some people who cannot get along with anyone for any length of time&he was one. That was why he went through 3 wives in 20 years. He could not celebrate&tolerate the differences he&I had, but rather took them personally&used them as an axe to grind against me and our whole relationship. I finally got so scared of saying much to him that by the time we split we were not communicating at all.

nepi wrote:Respect every person, it doesn't matter if he has totally different opinions than you ("take me as I am...). If everybody would respect other persons and cultures, our world would be more peaceful.
It's sad but true: I know a lot of people who don't respect other people…

I agree with everything you said except this part. Like I said before, respect and tolerance are two different things. I don't necessarily think that you have to respect everyone, but this doesn't have to have a negative connotation. I think that more than anything else, respect for absolutely everyone is more a sign of conformism than of being a nice and caring person. For example, there are laws that prohibit euthanasia, and these laws prevent many patients from making their own decision regarding their lives. Well, I don't respect the people who come up with these laws, I tolerate them. And I honestly don't think that I'm a bad or violent person for not respecting them.

is this one of the few threads where we all seem to agree peacefully?
we're reaching perfection!!!