Despair

Morgana · Post by **Morgana** » Mon Mar 20, 2006 11:51 pm

Have you ever been hurt?
Have you ever been abandoned?
Have you ever been truly scared?
Have you ever felt you don't belong here?
Have you ever you don't have a home?
Have you ever felt you don't have a chance?
From the moment of birth we are already dying
Death is the only true salvation
Through death man is reborn
Like a butterfly is born out of a caterpillar
And after that, man is finally free

How can you fight it? What helps you? What do you do when your world is breaking down? Where do you go?

Kain´s seventh son · Post by **Kain´s seventh son** » Tue Mar 21, 2006 3:07 am

I've felt most of that... even the suicide part

and for me... music gave a lot and I mean A LOT... saved my life for that part... I hope you are not in THAT bad situation

My friends, music and my current girlfriend saved my life... killing oneself's is not a solution, it is the WORST thing you could do to your friends and family, no matter how much something hurts, one is better to remember that you hurt thousand times more those who love you by taking your life, it's never a solution...
I don't know what pulled me out, precisly, but something did... perhaps the combination of loved frinds, music that I love and one person who just totally wanted to be there for me, to love me, to help me...and that person is nowdays my girlfriend

hmm... again I'm just talking on my own my very own ununderstandable chatter... hope someone understood at least part of what I tried to say

Forget-me-not · Post by **Forget-me-not** » Tue Mar 21, 2006 3:11 am

When I listened to "Back to Madness" first time, I was amazed. I thought these words were written about me. Now I understand every person sometimes feel the same.

It is not very difficult for me to fight with such depressing feelings because I'm a religious existentialist. I have thought a lot about problems of human being: about loneliness, impossibility of absolute freedom, purport of life, about death. Belief in God will help you. Let's talk about it personally later, now I have to go..

browneyedgirl · Post by **browneyedgirl** » Tue Mar 21, 2006 3:53 am

I am basicly a happy person, but like everybody I have my moments when I think about my life&how it might be better, think about past mistakes&the losses I have suffered&sometimes feel deep pain&depression. I have thought of suicide a couple times in my life-with the loss of my children&when I was married to an abusive husband. But, suicide is not ever the answer&in hindsight, if we are strong enough to take a deep breath and push on, we can see all that happens to us is for a reason. I know it sounds stupid, but when I get seriously depressed I think of the good things I have in my life&how thankful I am, and as bad as I think the problem is, it could be lots worse!

Stealth · Post by **Stealth** » Tue Mar 21, 2006 3:54 am

Kain´s seventh son wrote:killing oneself's is not a solution, it is the WORST thing you could do to your friends and family, no matter how much something hurts, one is better to remember that you hurt thousand times more those who love you by taking your life, it's never a solution...

Exactly. You know what they say about suicide; people who commit suicide are selfish, and I totally agree. The pain suicide causes among family members, friends, etc. must be undescribable. Someone might ask "but what about my problems and MY feelings?" Let's put it this way: The best a person can do is try to deal with those problems and try to overcome the hard times. Think that, independently of whether you want to commit suicide or not, you WILL die eventually, so you might as well try to be happy until the end. If you lead a happy life, great! You will have nothing to regret. If, on the other hand, you lead a miserable life, remember to keep fighting for a positive change and, ultimately, if things are not going great, well.... your life WILL end at some point, so you don't have to worry about ending it yourself.

@ Kain: Nice to see you around here again!

@ Forget: Ok, so most people know my views on religion here.

It's great if belief in god helps you, but I certainly don't think it's the only way to feel better. I've been (and still am) going through hard times, but no matter how bad I felt (at times REALLY bad) I never came close to considering suicide. There are lots of things I can think of that make me feel better, but they come from within and from what I experience around me. I don't rely on faith at all. All I'm saying is that faith and religion are not the only things that can make someone come out of depression or abandon suicidal thoughts. But of course, if people feel better through faith and religion, that's great. I'm not trying to convince anyone to do otherwise.

Forget-me-not · Post by **Forget-me-not** » Tue Mar 21, 2006 7:29 am

I've come back.
I don't think that last lines of the song call upon to suicide. Death is the only true salvation- it doesn't mean we should commit suicide, it really tells that after death we will be freed from crucifixion. But it's my humble opinion. May be I'm wrong.

What do you do when your world is breaking down? Where do you go?

Music helps me greatly, particularly gothic rock&metal. I visit my favourite places, I've already told you about them. I go to small peaceful town not far from my home city by hydrofoil boat, look at the Enisey river and mountains there.

As a last resort I visit cemetery. Different fellings visit me while I am walking among graves, and when I return to living people I feel better. Life is worth living

browneyedgirl · Post by **browneyedgirl** » Tue Mar 21, 2006 2:13 pm

I believe Death can be a salvation--because unless we are truly evil people, we will move on to an eternal better place after we die, IMO. But, this is not to glorify death--or rush into oblivion with open arms! I mean, this is the philosophy of doomsday cults! We are to enjoy this life as much as we can--to embrace it&no matter how hard&taxing it sometimes gets to try to look at the bright side, and do the best we can.

nepi · Post by **nepi** » Tue Mar 21, 2006 3:22 pm

Nobody knows what will happen after death. But suicide is nevernever a solution! It is the worst way to leave the world and it is a sign of egoistic because what the left people feels hurts muchmuch more than the dead person!
Or with the words of Kain's 7th son!

They will ever be a way, a solution, no question about!

There are much friends you have to talk about, to cry out your heart and to share the pain with you! For some people is to pray to god the solution for other another one.
Often I write in such situations lyrics to write down my feelings. After I finished, I feel much better, but not healed.

I think everybody should appreciate and be thankful of that what he/she has. It ever can be worst and be honest: Are we all poor people? Do we don't have any friends? I don't know all you guys here but I am sure about my answer!

Music helps me much. Music has given me a good time when I was down!

I am sometimes a really livewire but sometimes there are times I want to be alone. Most of them it is in the nature. Then I have a little walk and have a seat on a stone and watch the nature. Then I realise: I am a happy man! My country doesn't have war, I live in excellent conditions, have much friends and I am health!...

Often we forget how good our life really is! - We should pay attention of it and appreciate it - be thankful of our life!

MetalAngel · Post by **MetalAngel** » Tue Mar 21, 2006 6:56 pm

Morgana wrote:How can you fight it? What helps you? What do you do when your world is breaking down? Where do you go?

TWO things helped me :

MUSIC : Stratovarius

& mainly

LOVE :luv1:

Kain´s seventh son · Post by **Kain´s seventh son** » Tue Mar 21, 2006 8:28 pm

Stealth wrote: @ Kain: Nice to see you around here again!

Nice to see you too, Stealth

actually I'm mostly around, sometimes I just don't feel like part-taking to these coversations... I fell like I have nothing to say to be precise... dunno why, perhaps most topics here are not just my type or so

still, I'm around, and if someone needs to contact me, I am here to talk with anyone intrested in little chatter

stratoplayer · Post by **stratoplayer** » Tue Mar 21, 2006 10:38 pm

My will to live and desire to trascend, 'nuff said.

Morgana · Post by **Morgana** » Tue Mar 21, 2006 10:44 pm

nepi wrote: I am sometimes a really livewire but sometimes there are times I want to be alone. Most of them it is in the nature. Then I have a little walk and have a seat on a stone and watch the nature. Then I realise: I am a happy man!

Me too

I walked a lot yesterday. I went to embankment and watched churches and trees... And I felt better a little bit. I just think that my life is going wrong during the last time and I even don't know what's going wrong.

I don't know yet what to do but I sure you that it would be not suicide!!!

It's the worse sin that could be. I believe in God and I'll never do it. I just need the time to feel better now...

@Nepi: thanks a lot that you're near when I feel terrible! Thanks that you listen all that delirious that I tell you!

HvyMtlClickWitch · Post by **HvyMtlClickWitch** » Tue Mar 21, 2006 11:40 pm

Hey, suicide isn't such a bad thing. I tried it a few times; it always makes me feel better.

Seriously. I'm really about to be serious. What the heck is wrong with feeling like complete crap?? It's only a feeling. And feelings pass.

Morgana · Post by **Morgana** » Tue Mar 21, 2006 11:55 pm

Hvyblah, you're right.

And now I'm waiting for this feeling to pass...

Stealth · Post by **Stealth** » Wed Mar 22, 2006 1:40 am

HvyMtlClickWitch wrote:Seriously. I'm really about to be serious. What the heck is wrong with feeling like complete crap?? It's only a feeling. And feelings pass.

True. The problem is, some feelings pass in two days, others in nine years, etc. I know from experience. But yes, even if it takes a long time, feelings can pass.

Paola · Post by **Paola** » Wed Mar 22, 2006 2:23 am

In this days I can't read it, you know the answer

browneyedgirl · Post by **browneyedgirl** » Wed Mar 22, 2006 1:48 pm

HvyMtlClickWitch wrote:
Seriously. What the heck is wrong with feeling like complete crap?? It's only a feeling. And feelings pass.

AMEN! "Weeping endureth for a night, but Joy cometh in the morning!" That is one of the most profound&true verses in the Bible--I think it's called HOPE!

Miguel_Ricardo · Post by **Miguel_Ricardo** » Wed Mar 22, 2006 10:46 pm

am I the only one that didn't think about suicide when reading what Morgana posted ? or am I just a bit retarded

Patricia · Post by **Patricia** » Wed Mar 22, 2006 11:36 pm

Miguel_Ricardo wrote:am I the only one that didn't think about suicide when reading what Morgana posted ? or am I just a bit retarded

Nope...anyway, i could think it was only not necessarly talking about suicide. It could be also talking about just a feeling of sadness, but not so much deep (suicide) i guess...

Sometimes people can feel in a hopelessness way, but he/she doesn't necessarly about suicide.

stratoplayer · Post by **stratoplayer** » Wed Mar 22, 2006 11:51 pm

Miguel_Ricardo wrote:am I the only one that didn't think about suicide when reading what Morgana posted ? or am I just a bit retarded

Nope, but suicide is a viable option for me, don't get me wrong, I'm talking terminal and excruziating disease, I'd gladly drive my katana through my throat than have others miserable about me being in pain for years slowly wasting away, thats not living in my book.

Bathory Killcraft · Post by **Bathory Killcraft** » Wed Apr 05, 2006 1:01 am

I have my times too when I feel totally depressed. Recently for example I 've been in a lot of stress with Uni, etc (and I think I shouldn't) and felt totally shit for weeks. Im slowly trying to recover and take a more carefree attitude towards things in general. I miss a lot of things, I miss my family, my girlfriend, my friends, my place and think of them every day. I don't exactly know what is the solution to problems related to bad mood and depression but I truly believe family and friends are very helpful. Whenever I am with them, my problems almost dissapear. So try to be with friends and spend time with them. Go out for a walk or to have a drink with them, do something together. Loneliness is making things potentially worse. Also go out. Whenever or wherever. When you feel depressed just go out. It works for me, everytime I feel I can't take any more I just step out of the house, sometimes I don't know where to but I don't care. Whenever I feel I am suffocating inside the house I just go out. Sometimes I'll take a bus to the centre (I live in London btw) and just have a walk by the river or go to a bookstore or simply wander around. It is always nicer if you can share these times with friends but even if you don't have anyone to share it with, do it still. It's better to do it even on your own than not doing it at all.

But I truly think good company is key to overcoming depression problems. If you have good friends do try and spend time with them. I wish I could say that I have good friends here but I can't. All my good friends are back home (I am from Greece) and here I have these Uni people I simply don't enjoy hanging out with. It's all business. So I'm trying to overcome problems on my own. It is not easy you know but you have to keep trying.

And do not even talk about suicide no matter how bad things may be. I know how charming and seducing sometimes is to think that commiting suicide can solve all of our problems. But that's not true, the burden and all the problems will simply be transferred to somone else's back - the people who love and care about you for that matter.

The way I also feel when I am in depressing mood is that feelings are coming and going. Within a day I may have many mood changes, from being totaly low to being very optimistic. It may happen several times a day. I wish I could have a way to maintain my good mood when it surfuces and keep it for the rest of the day.

Also talking about one's problem or even writing about it - even in a public forum such as this helps I think. Generally whenever problems and depression start applying more and more pressure on you do talk about it to people who care about you. Don't leave it within you. The more you keep something inside the worse it affects you. I felt shit when I started writing this post and I think I feel slightly better already:-) So I think it is the most important thing. Be vocal about your concerns. Help yourself by letting others now how you feel.

And those others should ALWAYS be family and friends first and foremost. These are the people who genuinely care about you and they will try to help you even if they don't know how.

hope i can participate in the forum a bit more, used to be here long time ago but I lost interest. Good to see Strato going strong again too, lets hope and wait for better things to come from them in the future.

NeonVomit · Post by **NeonVomit** » Wed Apr 05, 2006 10:22 am

stratoplayer wrote:
Miguel_Ricardo wrote:am I the only one that didn't think about suicide when reading what Morgana posted ? or am I just a bit retarded

Nope, but suicide is a viable option for me, don't get me wrong, I'm talking terminal and excruziating disease, I'd gladly drive my katana through my throat than have others miserable about me being in pain for years slowly wasting away, thats not living in my book.

Agreed. I'd end it myself if I was in that situation. I want to mainain my dignity.

StragOvariuS · Post by **StragOvariuS** » Wed Apr 05, 2006 3:14 pm

I listen Manowar and feel great after. seriously.

Songs with lyrics like Battle Hymns or Return of the warlord makes me feel great, you open a beer and swallow the sadness. simple.

Metal makes us strong!

Earl Grey · Post by **Earl Grey** » Wed Apr 05, 2006 6:43 pm

Have you ever been hurt?
Have you ever been abandoned?
Have you ever been truly scared?
Have you ever felt you don't belong here?
Have you ever you don't have a home?
Have you ever felt you don't have a chance?

No.

Forget-me-not · Post by **Forget-me-not** » Thu Apr 06, 2006 1:49 pm

Earl Grey wrote:
Have you ever been hurt?
Have you ever been abandoned?
Have you ever been truly scared?
Have you ever felt you don't belong here?
Have you ever you don't have a home?
Have you ever felt you don't have a chance?
No.
[/code]

You must be the happiest person in this world...

Wanderer · Post by **Wanderer** » Thu Apr 06, 2006 5:37 pm

I guess it was last spring when I felt so depressed that I was thinking suicide.. Now when I think about that it feels like a crazy idea.. I've met a very good friend at school... She has been a great help for me, we can talk about everything.

I was quite sad about beeing a single. I still am a single but somehow she and some other people have convinced me that I actually am a handsome guy..

I know it sounds selfish but that was my major problem...

Morgana · Post by **Morgana** » Thu Apr 06, 2006 10:19 pm

I walk on the streets among smiling and kissing people and understand how deep I'm in lonelyness... It reminds me the only man I love... I look at them and miss him, I miss him so strong!!! I want to be with him, hold him and be near but I even cannot see him personally... This life is so cruel if it sends us such troubles! It's impossible to feel so strong and not to have opportunity to make your dream come true... Nothing depends on me or him, we just live and days go by and nothing changes... Excuse me for this words I wrote here... I'm just tired and upset and I want to see nobody but him...

Dave · Post by **Dave** » Thu Apr 06, 2006 10:22 pm

But you have the luck to know that he loves you back. You don't have to spend nights with thinking what his feelings are like, you don't feel like a toy that lands in the corner when it's getting boring.. Be happy of your situation, always make the best out of it.. As long as it's possible..

Bathory Killcraft · Post by **Bathory Killcraft** » Thu Apr 06, 2006 10:53 pm

Morgana wrote:I walk on the streets among smiling and kissing people and understand how deep I'm in lonelyness... It reminds me the only man I love... I look at them and miss him, I miss him so strong!!! I want to be with him, hold him and be near but I even cannot see him personally... This life is so cruel if it sends us such troubles! It's impossible to feel so strong and not to have opportunity to make your dream come true... Nothing depends on me or him, we just live and days go by and nothing changes... Excuse me for this words I wrote here... I'm just tired and upset and I want to see nobody but him...

But it is wrong to be depressed because of a relationship. I wasn't sure that was the reason you felt depressed when I read your first post but now you confirm it and I think it's so wrong. There are really difficult situations in life and people still manage to get over them, I personally don't believe it worths to be depressed over a single person. It's so wrong to be fixated to one person. If someone told me that they felt depressed because they physically lost a loved person, and I mean death, then I can justify it. But because of a break up...I don't think so. There are far more serious things in life..

Obviously I have felt like that in the past for women, like I don't want to go on without her and everything but I have realised in time how unimportant is to despair over relationships. Put it in the proper context, in the big scheme of things and maybe you will know what I mean.

Obviously every person knows better how badly it affects them, but believe me, there are far worse reasons people become depressed and despair and love affairs shouldn't be one of them.

Forget-me-not · Post by **Forget-me-not** » Fri Apr 07, 2006 5:01 am

Have you heard about existential loneliness? According to this theory, man is irresistibly solitary. He is born against his will and when he dies he is doomed to meet death face to face. And during his life he is absolutely lonely, and even if it seems to him that somebody entirely understands him, it is temporary and transient feeling, unity with somebody is momentary. To flee from solitude is useless..

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