You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: do you like marimbas?
Stranger: I do
Stranger: do you like biscuits?
You: I do
Stranger: uhm, not sure how we could combine the two items though....
You: we definately should fuck
Stranger: oh well, there's always that
You: maybe we can fuck over a 8 octave marimba while eating biscuits
Stranger: what type of wood is the marimba made of?
Stranger: and what type of bisuits?
Stranger: essential questions; you understand
You: yeah, I get that
You: what about if the marimba is made of oak wood with metal sticks?
You: and you decide the biscuits
Stranger: hmm, metal sticks could be a tad cold on our glistening naked bodies
Stranger: as for the biscuits, scotch finger short bread
Stranger: crumbly, but I think well worth the mess
You: I see, that's great
You: but see... I have something to tell you
You: I am from Ukraine you know? and uh...
You: I need to bring my goat
You: is that okay for you?
Stranger: oh yeah, sure, i could use some milk
Stranger: scotch fingers tend to get a bit claggy after the first few
You: I know, it sucks
You: but be careful with little Igor... he bites... you know?
Stranger: oh my
Stranger: well, I guess i'll get my rabies shot before hand...
Stranger: though that is a really big needle...
Stranger: how bad could rabies be, anyway
You: I have it, it's not that bad
You: you get used to the white thing in your mouth anyways
Stranger: oh cool
You: yeah, and other stuff too
Stranger: ...er, that might not be rabies
You: it depends on the night
Stranger: like... a full moon sort of thing?
You: well you could say so, yes
Stranger: I think you could actually be confusing 'rabies' with 'being a warewolf'
Stranger: though I don't know how you'd have gotten that from a goat
You: yeah, the smell of the chicken shit in a barn makes funny things happen in your underpants I guess
You: besides... goats are furry
Stranger: that's a bit presumtuous, thrusting a generally decried sexuality upon your poor hapless waregoat
You: it's not if it's consentuous...
You: those leers they have are pretty clear when you are bathing them
Stranger: well, I guess that's why they call them goat's eyes, huh
Stranger: that penetrating stare
You: yeah, really "penetrating" so to speak
You: the problem is...
You: Igor doesn't like crumbles on his fur
You: believe me, I've tried
You: so maybe we could have pie
Stranger: aww, so no scotch fingers?
Stranger: i'm not sure a pie would be any less crumbly
Stranger: a pot pie maybe...
Stranger: but then you'd need some sort of eating implement
Stranger: which is just going to make the marimba sex dangerous
Stranger: i don't want to get spooned....
You: I see, I get your concerns dear friend
You: maybe some special ukranian funnels might help?
Stranger: ukranian pie funnels?
Stranger: in what way are they special?
Stranger: like, a good special, or a, uh, 'different' special
You: let's just say they're made in Kiev, that is self-explanatory in some way
Stranger: i see
You: Oh, and maybe a finnish friend could join us, he's quite friendly
You: he's a goatfarmer too
Stranger: ah, excellent
Stranger: more expertise, might help curb the biting
Stranger: and you know....
Stranger: subsequent rabies
You: yeah, that's true
You: you may have heard of him, he is Pekka Nurmi, the greatest goatfarmer of them all
You: so we're going to be quite honored
Stranger: i'm afraid i'm a bit out of the loop with the who's who of european goat farming and husbandry
Stranger: ever since Antonio Belescii was disqualified back in '97
Stranger: just not been the same
Stranger: however, I'll take your word for it
You: It's true, I miss the guy too
You: but most of the goat-petting techniques Pekka Nurmi has learned it was under the great guide of Antonio
You: you may recognize it as soon as he humps on the marimba with Igor
Stranger: oh wow, it's been many a year since I've witnessed the two turn bollock twist....
Stranger: it will be nostalgic to witness such husbandry in action
You: Don't worry I'll be there too for the weeping
You: it will be quite poeting... Igor and Pekka on a marimba...
You: it saddens me already
Stranger: perhaps, the end of an era
Stranger: goat farming like this may not be seen again
Stranger: what with all these new machines and goat battery farming and what
Stranger: a dying age, we live in
You: decadent age, I may say
You: but well, bring your camera, we have to remember this moment
You: for future generations
Stranger: I'll have to read the booklet about the timer thing
Stranger: but yes, this needs to recorded
Stranger: so I'll do it
You: and you know, out of all the testosterone being haphazardly bursting on the marimba at once
You: you might want to bring juice of some sort
You: apple is Igor's favorite
You: you know, to compensate
Stranger: I spose I could pick some up on the way
Stranger: from goat beverages R us
Stranger: they do some mean bulk deals, I tell you
You: do you mind if you squeeze them yourself
You: is sort of a family thing Igor has
You: he doesn't like factories or such
Stranger: oh, er, well
Stranger: I could give it ago
Stranger: but, i mean
Stranger: I haven't made juice in so long....
Stranger: not after last time
Stranger: with the oranges
Stranger: so many dead
Stranger: they haunt my dream, you know
You: yeah, it got on the news here too
You: but it was the cashier's fault, he was the idiot, good that the blade got his head too
You: so he couldn't harm anyone else
Stranger: yeah, but on bring your 19 children to work day....
Stranger: i'm sure not all his prodgeny were stupid
Stranger: though, I guess we'll never know now
You: yeah, but well... give it a try
Stranger: for Pekka, I will
You: for him! just hold them firmly... and think about Igor and how happy he will be
You: a great moment in history
Stranger: true, history must witness this moment
Stranger: well, I spose I should get juicing then
Stranger: untill the event, I bid you, adieu
You: it's true
You: see you in my barn dear friend!
You: for goats!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.