Have you ever been hurt?, have you ever been abandoned?...

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Stratolily
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Have you ever been hurt?, have you ever been abandoned?...

Post by Stratolily » Sat Sep 24, 2005 9:24 pm

Hi everyone!

I spending the worst time in my life... :(
My boyfriend left me 2 months and 12 days ago...
He was everything for me, I think I still love him, but he cheated on me and left me for a kid (both of us are 26 years old, and this kid is 19 or 20 ...)
We lived togheter, so you can imagine how was for me to see how my home torn apart and lost my love...

So, I created this topic, maybe for some kind of therapy, I don't know,
and I'd like to know if anyone of you, just like Back To Madness says...

Have you been hurt? have you been anbandoned?

I hope this topic will be welcome...

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Re: Have you ever been hurt?, have you ever been abandoned?...

Post by browneyedgirl » Sat Sep 24, 2005 9:40 pm

Welcome, Stratolily! Where are you from? And I LOVE your avatar! :)

Yes, I've been hurt&abandoned by my now Ex-Husband. He abused me horrible, and I still carry some bitterness even though I now have pretty much gotten on with my life!
You will live&love again! Give yourself time to grieve. There are several steps to Recovery, and they will take time. The final one is acceptance&at that point you will forgive him, at least enough that it does not hurt any longer.

Good luck! I'll write more about this later, Stratolily! ;)
"Your life is yours, and yours alone. Rise up and live it!"

Bob: I don't believe in God.
Archangel Michael: That's OK, Bob, because He doesn't believe in you, either!~Legion~

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Stratolily
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Re: Have you ever been hurt?, have you ever been abandoned?...

Post by Stratolily » Sat Sep 24, 2005 9:46 pm

Thanks so much for your words, Browneyed Girl!
I know I just need more time to accept everything, but it's really hard when you thought you would spend the rest of you life with this guy. That's what I really wanted and suddenly everything torn apart, everything ends! :(

Just thanks! It's all I have to say by now...

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Re: Have you ever been hurt?, have you ever been abandoned?...

Post by cliff » Sat Sep 24, 2005 10:08 pm

I'm sorry to hear (for both of You).
It's a really difficult period, I can't lie to you.
But like Browneyedgirl said, you will live and love again. Just give yourself some time.

I have already been abandonned, and it felt terrible. I considered this woman like the woman of my life and when she left me, I really thought I would never meet anyone like her,, that I'll never be happy anymore. But you see, now I am sooooooo happy, with that wonderful person who is about 1000 times "better" than that ex.
So don't lose your faith. You will find someone again who will make you even happier, and will respect you for real.
And tell yourself that this person was just not meant to be with you, if he cheated on you.
<b>This is wrong</b>

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Re: Have you ever been hurt?, have you ever been abandoned?...

Post by Dave » Sat Sep 24, 2005 10:08 pm

Hi StratoLily :)

i think everyone of us has had some bad experiences in love yet..

well, i'm also just a kid, 14 years old, i don't know much of life yet, but i've also been hurt yet.. the situation is a bit different from yours, but i'm completely down, too, and i really don't know what to do.. on the one side i want to forget it all, but on the other side i'm hoping so much i still have a chance, and that one day i'll be together with this girl..
but well, let's talk about you..

yeah you really need more time to accept this. but you should really try to accept it, you have to forget all this, and to change your life! time heals nearly all wounds, and i'm sure, soon you will have forgotten all this, and you'll be happy again :)

"Hold on to your dream and never give up in your life"

In such situations the lyrics of Stratovarius and especially SOnata Arctica are giving me very much.. in much of them i can find exactly what i'm feeling..

well.. good luck to you :) don't take it too hard..



oh.. and sorry for my bad english, i hope you could understand what i wanted to say :oops:
Spamming is serious business!

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Re: Have you ever been hurt?, have you ever been abandoned?...

Post by fernando_levy » Sat Sep 24, 2005 10:17 pm

Hi stratolily,

I have to say I agree with cliff and browneyedgirl. I know I'm just an 18 year old guy and I've never been hurt in love (I haven't had a girl before) but still, I think you shoul take your time to recover (only time can heal these wounds). Just don't give up; there's someone out there who will love you completely. And browneyedgirl, your resovle and courage to move on must be unimaginable, considering you have a son so... congratulations. I'm also curios stratolily, where are you from?

Best regards, just carry on and reach your goals

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Re: Have you ever been hurt?, have you ever been abandoned?...

Post by Patricia » Sat Sep 24, 2005 10:51 pm

Hi Stratolily,

I agree with all what said above.
It seems to me you've already posted this in Kotipelto forum..but i can answer you again. You're from Chile right? Tell me if i'm wrong..

Yes, i've been hurt and felt abandoned too. There is almost one year and a half now that we've broken. I believed i could live the rest of my life with him, as we shared more than 6 years together but finally no..And it was a very hard moment for me yes..all was collapsed, ruined and i felt very depressed..
But the time cures the pain, the sadness, and i'm feeling well now.
So Stratolily fight! And you'll see, one day you'll love again. I wish you all the best for the future. :)
Olen tyytyväinen...Onpa kiva tavata...

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Re: Have you ever been hurt?, have you ever been abandoned?...

Post by Stratowariuz » Sat Sep 24, 2005 11:21 pm

Hi Stratolily,

I agree with others. I'm just 19 years old boy, and I don't know so much about life yet.. But once I've been hurted by love. I fell in love with a girl, and it really doesn't worked.. But no more about that. It's just so amazing how much power you can get by listening Stratovarius! I can find so much about myself with those lyrics..

So Stratolily try to carry on and I wish all the best for you and hug! :)


"Hold on to your dream, somewhere there's a beam, of hope which is guiding your way through the dark.." :wink:

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Stratolily
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Re: Have you ever been hurt?, have you ever been abandoned?...

Post by Stratolily » Sat Sep 24, 2005 11:52 pm

Thanks so much for your words! :cry:
I'm just trying to be fine, I promise...

Hey Dave! don't worry for you english! Soy chilena!ja, ja, ja!
De seguro yo también me he equivocado...:P

Yeah! I'm chilean, Patricia and I did post in Kotipelto forum... :D

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Re: Have you ever been hurt?, have you ever been abandoned?...

Post by Patricia » Sat Sep 24, 2005 11:56 pm

Stratolily wrote: Yeah! I'm chilean, Patricia and I did post in Kotipelto forum... :D
I was sure. :wink:
Anyway, i'm glad you have a smile there! :)
Olen tyytyväinen...Onpa kiva tavata...

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Stratolily
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Re: Have you ever been hurt?, have you ever been abandoned?...

Post by Stratolily » Sun Sep 25, 2005 12:07 am

Hey! Now I remember....
You replied me in kotipelto forum!:
What a chicken head! :lol:

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Re: Have you ever been hurt?, have you ever been abandoned?...

Post by TheBlackRose » Sun Sep 25, 2005 1:25 am

yeah I've been hurt and it suck ass! and i'm still hurt i think i won't believe in anyone..anybody....never again. I rather be alone. i loved like never before and ..fuck! i feel like i'm never gonna love so strong, so deep like the way I did. I hate men' beautiful words. i'm gonna be a cold hearted woman from now on....grgrgrgrgrgrggr







(it sound like a childish thought but that's the way i feel, at least now)





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A good friend will come bail you out of jail...but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying: "Damn ...We Fuked Up".

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Re: Have you ever been hurt?, have you ever been abandoned?...

Post by browneyedgirl » Sun Sep 25, 2005 2:53 am

TheBlackRose wrote:yeah I've been hurt and it suck ass! and i'm still hurt i think i won't believe in anyone..anybody....never again. I rather be alone. i loved like never before and ..fuck! i feel like i'm never gonna love so strong, so deep like the way I did. I hate men' beautiful words. i'm gonna be a cold hearted woman from now on....grgrgrgrgrgrggr







(it sound like a childish thought but that's the way i feel, at least now)





)(/HNJJ9865%%vuI(/6
I think you are in the Anger stage. This is normal--it will pass. Then, you will accept, and gradually move on. Losing a loved one by death or seperation, is much the same process to recovery. If you get stuck in one of the stages too long, IMO, its time to get outside help especially if these feelings are hindering your life. But, there is no set time limit on these feelings--some people can resolve such a loss in weeks, others, it takes years. It depends on the individual.
When you live with someone for years, even if there were conflicts, when they are gone you sometime tend to idealize the person--you just think of the good times&it makes the pain worse. But, thats part of the process.
And, you'll get over man-hating ;) Trust me--you will. I went through that period, but then at some point you finally realize that dumping all the anger you feel for one person on half the human race is not only ineffective, but silly. ;) And, your heart will warm again--you will meet another guy--even just as a friend&to your surprise your heart will beat alittle faster, you will look forward to seeing&talking with him, and before you know it the male sex is gorgeous again! :)
Time heals wounds, especially in affairs of the heart!
Just be your best self, try some changes, take up new hobbies&spend time with friends to help you through this shaky time! You may find your heartache, as devestating as it is, helped you grow as a person&even made you stronger! :)
Good Luck!
"Your life is yours, and yours alone. Rise up and live it!"

Bob: I don't believe in God.
Archangel Michael: That's OK, Bob, because He doesn't believe in you, either!~Legion~

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Stratolily
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Re: Have you ever been hurt?, have you ever been abandoned?...

Post by Stratolily » Sun Sep 25, 2005 5:24 am

TheBlackRose wrote:yeah I've been hurt and it suck ass! and i'm still hurt i think i won't believe in anyone..anybody....never again. I rather be alone. i loved like never before and ..fuck! i feel like i'm never gonna love so strong, so deep like the way I did. I hate men' beautiful words. i'm gonna be a cold hearted woman from now on....grgrgrgrgrgrggr







(it sound like a childish thought but that's the way i feel, at least now)





)(/HNJJ9865%%vuI(/6


I totally understand you!
I don't know how I'm gonna believe in other guy again! :cry:
I'm really scared!
I love like I've never before too, he was everything to me...
But I know I must get over this, cause the dream of my life is to have a family, to have children... I feel deep in my heart that I was born for this, so I can't give up!
But first, I have to heal my wounds...
:cry:

I know how you feel, I'm feling the same way right now...
I understand your anger, I understand you so much, but I still think that there must be someone for me but also think that I need to be alone for a while, cause, after all, I still fucking love him!
:cry:

I don't know anything else to tell you.
I think I'm not the most indicated person to give an advice...
I just understand you...

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Re: Have you ever been hurt?, have you ever been abandoned?...

Post by MaFiaBoY » Sun Sep 25, 2005 11:20 am

OOOOH MY BOYFRIEND LEFT ME !! HOW TERRIBLE :cry:

No offense meant but it's a bit frustrating to see people who get depressed when I would give anything to be like them...

To answer the question, yeah I've been hurt (See here) but not abandoned, I have my mother and sister, all my friends and YOU my dear Stratobrothers (and sisters :p).
Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated ~desu

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Re: Have you ever been hurt?, have you ever been abandoned?...

Post by Patricia » Sun Sep 25, 2005 11:49 am

Stratolily wrote:Hey! Now I remember....
You replied me in kotipelto forum!:
What a chicken head! :lol:
Hehe.. :lol:

Anyway, we can see here that a lot of people have been hurt too, so you're not the only one to have suffered...I know that's terrible to feel so bad...you know, in my case i should get married in february 2004 but finally all have been destroyed one month later, so..But with the time now, i don't have any regrets..And i mean too that it's in that way a good thing to talk about that for you, i understand you totally, and you can see that we here understand your sadness and pain at least for those who have lived the same, and that you've all our support. :)
Olen tyytyväinen...Onpa kiva tavata...

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Re: Have you ever been hurt?, have you ever been abandoned?...

Post by Beast_Pete » Sun Sep 25, 2005 3:33 pm

Of course. There were several times, I've been hurt and when I felt abandoned, but I'm the type, who recovers. I don't like to be sad. :) And well, I felt quite bad (really really bad) recently. But it's over now, even if I'm still not feeling okay 100%.
"Mikor az utolsó véred is elfolyék,
S a tested is a porba hullék,
Akkor is van még remény,
Mert a lelked továbbra is él."

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from the book, Nick's legend

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Re: Have you ever been hurt?, have you ever been abandoned?...

Post by TheBlackRose » Sun Sep 25, 2005 8:23 pm

If you get stuck in one of the stages too long, IMO, its time to get outside help especially if these feelings are hindering your life. But, there is no set time limit on these feelings--some people can resolve such a loss in weeks, others, it takes years. It depends on the individual.
Exactely, it's been 7 or 8 months so far and have been the worst months of my life.


When you live with someone for years, even if there were conflicts, when they are gone you sometime tend to idealize the person--you just think of the good times&it makes the pain worse.

that's what happened to me, there's no second, minute i don't think about him, i looked back in what was my relationship and i think in the great times and i think in all of i could have done to change what was wrong or what i did wrong, to heal what was at the end unhealable.....in my case even if i'm with friends , family or even another guy, who I know he likes me, there's no way I can't get him out of my mind, out of my heart. I believed in love, eternal love...yeah i'm a dreamer....but he meant so much to me .....i know this is a process and i just hope i can move on and open my heart again......i want to start a new life.. i really do...and in a few weeks more i'm gonna take the biggest decition of my life so I can accomplish my goal, i know it's for my own good. but right now guys it sucks to feel this way. wish it never happened.
A good friend will come bail you out of jail...but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying: "Damn ...We Fuked Up".

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Re: Have you ever been hurt?, have you ever been abandoned?...

Post by Stratovarious » Wed Sep 28, 2005 12:08 am

wll...I just sorry ...

I think a few of us here ...really know how you feel ...I just send you hugs and good vibes ..cause I know this thing hurts a lot..but we can learn a lot of new things....after the storm...there's a calm....just be patient and you will realize that life goes on..in a positive way


I think..mmhh..I felt like you years ago and everytihng....EVERYTHING...will be better...now you're watchin' the fuck*** hole....but..trust me...you will learn of this

you have to...but don't push yourself into another level ...now you need time to be alone and learn of everything...the human being is emotional by nature
but sometimes we need to go away from emotions and think we can't depend form another person...we have to focus in what we are and what we need...and what we were doing....

and the better way to go out of that issue...is starting to love yourself..as never before...

Time can be your best friend or your worst enemy.....think about it

I wish you the best....hope you'll be better by now

if you need to talk here'e my mail... f_allen_x@hotmail.com

strato... :D :) :)
..the sweetest emptiness of love...

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Re: Have you ever been hurt?, have you ever been abandoned?...

Post by cliff » Wed Sep 28, 2005 5:59 am

MaFiaBoY wrote:OOOOH MY BOYFRIEND LEFT ME !! HOW TERRIBLE :cry:

No offense meant but it's a bit frustrating to see people who get depressed when I would give anything to be like them...
Mmm. I understand your point. Your pbm was awful, I reckon it, but hei, that's not a reason to treat other people like their pbms don't matter, just because YOU had that one. Pain is still pain.
<b>This is wrong</b>

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Stratolily
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Re: Have you ever been hurt?, have you ever been abandoned?...

Post by Stratolily » Fri Sep 30, 2005 4:12 am

MaFiaBoY wrote:OOOOH MY BOYFRIEND LEFT ME !! HOW TERRIBLE :cry:

No offense meant but it's a bit frustrating to see people who get depressed when I would give anything to be like them...
Mmm...
No comments... :?

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Re: Have you ever been hurt?, have you ever been abandoned?...

Post by Chronologo » Sat Oct 01, 2005 5:41 am

even me that I'm 17 know how it feels, it pretty bad feeling.The worst is that you dream that everything would change but that never happens, and you wait and wait, you realize that it won't happen then you get into a king size black hole.It's pretty hard to get out of there but it's possible,I wish you luck, the will force can help u, be strong and don't forget that the life is just 1 and you gotta enjoy it.Now I'm out of that black hole and I only wait, believe me the time is the key.Everything has solution less death.I think the only thing that could left is that coldness in your heart, I'm still coldhard hearted but I know that someday I'll meet somebody, or maybe I already met it but don't know, just wait.
No more doubts, my dreams will come true, leaving this pain behind,someday I'll touch the sky and fly high...

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