I'm a little pissed right now

[hiro23]

Sorry but I just needed to get this all out and here is the only place I could think of.

Well my girlfriend just broke up with me and did so by giving me sugar coated lines which I can basically translate for you.

we don't have the same goals=I want my life to take precidence and everything you want means nothing to me.

keep practicing but I think you should look into other things=your singing sucks and you'll probably end up working the grease fryer at mcdonalds.

I'm looking for something different=I already have another guy in the sack and just need an excuse to break up with you so I don't feel guilty.

these may come off as bitter but hell how can I not be, I just basically got told the equivalent of "your wasting your time, you have no talent, I want a man who's looking for a REAL career".

I mean it's one thing to break up with me but then she kicks me while I'm down by saying that I'm going nowhere in music.

I really feel like pounding the ground with my fists, anyways I just needed to ramble.

[icecab21]

Anything I can come up with just comes up as potential for a cliché off. Since i'm not above being a dumbass, but I am sincere.

Surround yourself with support
Use your energy to push yourself toward yours goals
Assess where you are and the how you could plan to accomplish your goals
Reflect on the situation
Find areas to focus on that help you concentrate on positive aspects
Visulize.

[hiro23]

Thanks man, that does mean a lot

I do have my goals set and I am persuing them, things are actually looking good for me in that direction.

I just feel like my only support now is my friends and family and that all her supporting words were all just sugar coated lies.

[icecab21]

It’s nice to hear that things are coming along well with your singing goals. Singing and music is something very valuable to me since it can be used in so many positive ways. There are so many songs and ways music has played a part in people’s lives that I can look fondly at.

I guess one strategy to cope that can be useful is to forgive, pray for, and move on. There can be some bad fits out there chemistry wise and I hope this opens doors. I think life gives a lot of gifts that hurt as well as hurts that both give and kill potential. Time is such a factor in our lives that I think as long as we have it, great things can come.

I’d like to think of the forum as a place where we can have a great community and support each other. Writing stuff like this in the least helps me self reflect and I do enjoy conversations.

[NeverendingAbyss]

The three tools to building a strength:
-Skills
-Knowledge
-and more important, talent

I thought you should read "Now, Discover Your Strengths" by Marcus Buckingham and Donald O. Clifton.

[Babylon]

Breaking up is not easy of course, but time does heal everything. You just need to focus on yourself for a while and enjoy your time alone. I went through a somewhat difficult divorce and here I am, a year later, it's all good. Change is usually for the better.

[hiro23]

well the breaking up part is something I can get over, I'm just upset that she basically told me in a nice way that I have no talent and that I'm wasting my time.

I mean I'm still learning for christ sake, I know I'm not the best singer there is but damnit I work hard, apparently she didn't see that.

Either way this hasn't deterred me, it's only strengthened my resolve to get things started and to work harder.

[Babylon]

Either way this hasn't deterred me, it's only strengthened my resolve to get things started and to work harder.

That's the attitude!

[icecab21]

I'd like this to turn out to be one of those "best for everyone" moments. I feel that if someone is not genuine in believing and supporting the person they have a relationship with, both people can find something that suits their needs better.

It might just be me and not apply to this situation, but I don't sugar coat too much and something like "we don't have the same goals" would be a legitimate thing for me to say without meaning to judge. There simply is the difference in people’s personalities and goals that make it so people can’t connect in a way that can support a healthy relationship. I guess you would know better what she meant, but it would be a shame if she meant better then your interpretation.

It would be cool to hear your singing. I think I read that jenn was helping support you and that you have a good teacher. My thing with art and signing is that it is a wonderful experience where done for yourself and those that appreciate it. I think one can always find one heart to touch with music and to me that is worth it.

[hiro23]

I wish it could have turned out as a misunderstanding but really what it came down to was that she didn't believe in me.

She thought I was wasting my time and that I should get a "real job", one thing she did say to me that was honest in the midst of all the sugar coating was that she didn't think my voice was that exceptional.

Now that hurts, I mean to me that is the equivalent of being a painter in training working your hardest on your first art project and someone telling you that they think a 3 year old could do better.

One thing I do have however is people who do believe in me, I'd probably have given up if I didn't have great family and friends.

[NeverendingAbyss]

I also recommend reading "No Ordinary Moments" by Dan Millman (TT's recommendation)

[icecab21]

I think the thing with signing and music is that there is more talent than financial opportunity. The rewards and salary have to come from factors that are not financial. I also think the non financial rewards can make someone richer and that it is really just up to a persons value system what they can get out of their experiences. I think if feeling and internal rewards are the goal that can help and be more benefit than external rewards. It’s good to know that you have a family and friends that support you. To me, that is where real rewards and riches come from. Of course, since financial rewards grant opportunity for further exploration and friends, that does not hurt either. I guess to me it’s about how energy is directed and that most anything can be turned into a way that can be useful.

[hiro23]

thank you all.

you've all been very supportive and I'm glad that I've got some friends here.

I'm keeping a positive attitude and hoping for the best.

to Icecab:thank you for your kind words and reflections, they've really given me something to think about.

to neverendingabyss:I'll write down those titles and try and see if I can pick up some copies of those books.

to babylon:I'd like to thank you as well for giving me the reality check I need, things sometimes do happen for the best.

I'd also like to thank everyone else who's been kind to me in the past, one thing that's always worth keeping is good friends.

[browneyedgirl]

Its never easy to break up with someone that you love, even if you are not getting along. In time, hiro23, you will realize it was for the best, especially if she could not support or be there for you. Just concentrate on your own life now. It will hurt for a long while, so its best to keep on doing the things you enjoy and be with those who support you.

I have had to support my son through a few heartbreaks,and go through some of my own in my 46 years. Its never easy! However, "Weeping endurth for a night, but joy cometh in the morning."
Good luck, and I know its sounds old-fashioned, but you will meet someone else in time.

[hiro23]

Its never easy to break up with someone that you love, even if you are not getting along. In time, hiro23, you will realize it was for the best, especially if she could not support or be there for you. Just concentrate on your own life now. It will hurt for a long while, so its best to keep on doing the things you enjoy and be with those who support you.

I have had to support my son through a few heartbreaks,and go through some of my own in my 46 years. Its never easy! However, "Weeping endurth for a night, but joy cometh in the morning."
Good luck, and I know its sounds old-fashioned, but you will meet someone else in time.

Thank you BEG, I completely agree that it was for the best, I really do need someone who supports my choice in career and doesn't think of it as a waste of my time.

but for now I'm gonna focus on me and getting things going career wise. To use another old cliche "I'm still looking for miss right"

[hiro23]

oh and to prove I'm in better spirits I've provided a video you can laugh at,cry at or just think I'm plain crazy for.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U7YQhYYVPO0

[NeverendingAbyss]

[hiro23]

Good to know someone appreciates my twisted humor

[AAAAAAAAAA]

Surely you are hurt by her callous words, and it would be easy and satisfying to dismiss them and continue your practice with greater fervor. But it would do you best to cast aside your resentment of what has passed and evaluate your life independently of your hurt feelings. Consider: are you truly on the right path?

Either way, good luck.

[hiro23]

Surely you are hurt by her callous words, and it would be easy and satisfying to dismiss them and continue your practice with greater fervor. But it would do you best to cast aside your resentment of what has passed and evaluate your life independently of your hurt feelings. Consider: are you truly on the right path?

Either way, good luck.

I know what you mean and yes I have really thought a long time about it, this really is what I want to do and I'll truly regret it if I don't persue it.

I know that being a musician is the career I truly want cause music means a lot to me, more so then the average person.
It's been there through all the hard times in my life and when I sing I feel truly at peace, yes this really is the path for me.

I have moved on from her however her words were truly a knife in the back, it really hurts when someone doesn't believe in you and I really would have been miserable had I took her advice

[icecab21]

I think there are music industry jobs that can be a helpful boost to both provide training, income, and a community of networking. Take for example how many of the band members of RR also have skills producing and engineering music. This gives them the opportunity to connect to great people and music as well as practice and have their own musical career. I think music provides an industry where people can take a love for music and apply so many other skills toward it whether technical or social.

[JensJohansson]

Either way this hasn't deterred me, it's only strengthened my resolve to get things started and to work harder.

That's the attitude!

Yes!!!

"Ars longa, vagina brevis"

[NeverendingAbyss]

Either way this hasn't deterred me, it's only strengthened my resolve to get things started and to work harder.

That's the attitude!

Yes!!!

"Ars longa, vagina brevis"

The only word I recognize is vagina... I wonder why?

[hiro23]

Jens:I'm sorry to sound like an ignorant dumbass but what does that mean?

Neverendingabyss:same here

[icecab21]

It’s a twist on a Latin phrase.

pretty much saying your art and skill will be longer lasting than...

http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/ars- ... revis.html

[hiro23]

Thanks Icecab.

I can definatly agree with that.

[Mormegil]

Lets see if I can top hiro23's misery. (Just kidding, I'm not here to compete with anyone)

So, I went to visit my family for the holidays and it was the usual; mom and dad screaming at each other with 200 dB volume. Dad tells how much I piss him off (doesn't surprise me, we haven't had a dialogue or eye-contact for last 5 years) and my mom (who is basicly the only person in the world I really love) defends me by telling him to shut up and fuck off, which he does, two days in a row, but always comes back the same night. Anyway, today he dropped a real bomb for me, wait for it, he is not my biological father.
Now that doesn't really surprise me either, but to prevent myself from stabbing him in the face with a blunt knife for the way he keeps treating the people around him, me and especially my mother (who is probably going to divorce him finally and start a life she deserves) I'll move back to my school-dormitory, get drunk and probably cut my wrists.
Sorry for being all morbid at this time of the year, but I really had to get this off of my chest.

So, how was your Christmas?

[AGAG]

I'm sorry to hear that mormegil... everything I'd say would sound like cheap crappy motivational phrases so I'll just tell you that time is the best healer, it has helped me in crappy situations just to know that time goes by...

[nepi]

I am also very sorry to hear this mormegil! I hope you feel better soon and don't anything you may regret!
take care!

[hiro23]

I'm sorry to hear that mormegil

All I can say is to dig down and find your motivation to keep going, that's what I did.