Stratovarius Community

Hi! Tampere! Nice place. Nice public. It's almost like home. One problem though and you could never guess what, or rather WHO. Yak! Yes indeed! Potti was there! First he had some problem with our security. They didn't believe what they saw, so they tried to drag him away. But he said something with his stonevoice and showed them the evil eye, so they dropped of.(He had six big guards with him and maybe that impressed our more weak guys.)
The problem is that he adores us and loves to sing our songs. He has a very strong voice but he shouldn't use it for singing and his conduct is very embarrassing. He likes to stand next to me and I can't move away, so I have to endure it.
He threatened to come to our next gig too and he is, sorry to say, our big pain in the ass this week.

Hi! Me again! This time I will tell you about the new TV-serie we were making. It was called "The fantastic Stratovariusmembers make your dinners nine times a week".
As you maybe already have seen, it started with Kottis big cake. It was a very elaborate thing and it looked great, but tasted horrible. He had used salt instead of sugar. A common mistake in Kottis kitchen.
In the next program it was me cooking and I choose a common dish from my homeland. Surströmming! It has a little special flavour and the stench is very strong. It consist of fermented or frankly said ROTTEN fish. Not everyone loves it, but you only have to open a tin and there it is, ready to eat!
My tin for the program was a bit old - from a good year though,1999 - and it exploded in the face of us all.
In short. They had to close down the studio and that was the last program in our great serie and maybe the last of any sort there for a long time...

How can you have dinner 9 times a week?! O_o



And hail satan!

stratoplayer wrote:How can you have dinner 9 times a week?! O_o



And hail satan!

Hail yourself!!
Yes I thougt it was strange, but TV-companies have their own curious ideas. Now, thanks to my SURSTRÖMMING they have no dinners at all.

kameli wrote:

XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

The pain in the ass is coming to RUMANIA on Sunday! What will happen if Josse decides to take a day off and visits his friends There will be a bombshellcrash between two wholly (holy) different worlds.

Gosh! Gosh! They are here. In Rumania! And Josse has tried to disguise himself as -you can never guess - DRACULA. I must say he looks incredible in his long black coat. "The pain in the ass" haven't seen him yet. Say no more! Say no more! How will this end?? I hope Porri can take some bassintervals and film the event for you...May all the saints and archangels be with us tonight.

What a Rumaniaadventure!! I wish I could tell you everything, but I got orders from iGoogle not to say a single word. But noone can restrain me from translating what the Rumanian newspaper GAZETA de Cluj wrote on the first page.


Strange performance on rockfestival.

Yesterdays rockfestival was a very strange entertainment. A masked person dressed like Dracula was trying to help the Finnish band Stratovarius with the choir-singing. The guy was remarkably look-alike the Pope but it must naturally be a very big coincidence.
Together with him was another chap-also a look-alike-but this one had the resemblance of the Russian President-under his Nixonmask. He had some imperious guys with him but they didn't sing at all.
The most remarkable and curious thing was that the band allowed them to stay close to the keyboardplayer who looked very embarrassed.The two gentlemen seemed to be very happy though and maybe they were a part of the show even if they couldn't sing at all.

Hi! Me again. If you by accident haven't seen Porris new video, you must go there immediately. It is very funny and Mattis laugh is very contagious. It also explains why there wasn't more than four people meeting at the airport in Helsinki. We came by bus...

France!! Here we come and we are going to play the "didgusting" Stratosongs the whole night.Because we can and we are worth it. But to avoid someones big and eternal envy we are going on our bikes. It will be a strain but we are doing everything we can to keep the peace. And maybe most important. The "pain in the ass" doesn't like to bike...

It is only me trolling here and I wonder why. But on the other hand I have so many important things to tell you. France was nice but too short. They were so afraid of "the pain in the ass" so they cut down our show till minimum. On the videos, that a nice girl filmed, you can see all the guards they stationed in front of us and if you take a close look, you can get a glimpse of "the pain" when he tries to force his way through the crowd .The french guards were very strong so this time we escaped the "choirsinger".

OMG!!!! I'm Jens Johansson!! I can't believe it!
Now I can show my amazing skills!!
Oh! Wait!! What I am doing with a guitar in my hand?!?!?!?!
F*CK!

/Jens

PS: Yes, I registered just for this.

Username wrote:OMG!!!! I'm Jens Johansson!! I can't believe it!
Now I can show my amazing skills!!
Oh! Wait!! What I am doing with a guitar in my hand?!?!?!?!
F*CK!

/Jens

PS: Yes, I registered just for this.

As the original poster in this thread I must say thank you, Username, you made my day

Good luck with the shows, Jens!!!!!

Irinia wrote:

Username wrote:OMG!!!! I'm Jens Johansson!! I can't believe it!
Now I can show my amazing skills!!
Oh! Wait!! What I am doing with a guitar in my hand?!?!?!?!
F*CK!

/Jens

PS: Yes, I registered just for this.

As the original poster in this thread I must say thank you, Username, you made my day

Glad to be of assistance!
As I couldn't find a keyboard I'm going to update my jens.org website!

/Jens

El Cucaracha, El Cucaracha here we come. Spain, Spain one of our favouritelands. You have it hot now and tomorrow it will be even hotter. Come on let us sing together... El Cucaracha, El Cucaracha...

http://maps.google.es/maps?f=q&source=s ... 16&iwloc=A

http://www.aemet.es/es/eltiempo/predicc ... es?l=50001

Hi again. Long time no seen but here I am again. Some "Pnemonia" (are you still sick) wrote about the Monsters of rock-gig and you got everything round your hindfoot. You had the stomach to tell Lorri not to be so loud-voiced and you must be deaf and blind you poor wretch. Could you really not see and hear WHO did the singing? The Pain I T A stood just behind me and he grabbed his own mic and he bawled as loud as his lungs managed. And you didn't notice him at all. Scandal
Yes I was a bit down because I thought the Pain had given up his vocal ambitions and there he was. Till that I suspected that everyone would take him for a roodie and even if you can see him clearly on the videos from the gig the most of you apparently are as blind as "Pnemonia"...

This Topic deserves Jens making "Apple Bread"

Hahahaha yeah


Kinda glad I made this thread

Well you are the administrator!

Hey... I'm Jens too! Time to get rid of the competition!!!

This is the image result I got from Warius...



How does this toy works?

Kiev on Sunday! I don't think I have been there before, but who knows. One problem though. How is the situation for the Pain? Can he get a visa or was there something about unpaid oilbills? I hope for the best for my ears sake, but I am prepared with heavy earplugs this time.
By the way. Josse has sold all the blessed records in his shop now, but he doesn't come cheap. He thinks his blessings are worth as much as the record, so he doubles the price. But we all know that blessings always are expensive...

Josse just called to say he loves me. No I was joking.
The truth is, we have a "fallen"Josse and the problem is he broke his blessing hand. So we have to hold back the supply of more records to his shop, as he had to stop the blessings for some time. You, who had thought of buying his blessed and dubbelpriced records, have to wait till his holy hand has healed.

"His holy hand has healed" is a nice sentence isn't it?

Hi again! Vacation is coming up. I may go to Rome and visit my old friend, Josse. His blessing hand has almost healed and I can use some blessings.
Maybe I also say hi to another guy, Sille, Prem-minister Silvio Berlusconi to you. He has a fantastic house there, where you can meet interesting persons. There often is some chum from Czechoslovakia-I don't remember his name. You can see him in many papers where he glories as good as any A-familymember.

I will tell you about my adventures as they come. Stay on this thread.

BREAKING VATICANNEWS!!BREAKING VATICANNEWS!!!


Josse XVI makes his first record! Out in November!!

The recordcompany" Geffen" (Nirvana, Donna Summer) gives way to Josses first record with Litanies and they say he has a very comforting voice. But of course they forgot to tell us something about his appearances as backgroundsinger in Strato.

Maybe we make some exchange. He sings on our next record and we call it Stella-Vaticana and we make some solos on his. We will see what happens...

What on this earth is happening now on the Net? Timo Tolkki closes his My-Space and opens it again in a couple of hours. But it doesn't look the same. He says that I'm his some sort of idol and I am of course very flattered but on the same time I can't help wondering what is going on. I like the pic he has put up of us from happier days where we are grazing on a meadow as llamas, but there are other things I don't understand. Maybe we can meet for a curry and he can explain this stunt for me.

So strange. He doesn't like curry anymore. That was at least what he said. Strange! He is very bissibissi whith his book and his records (two I think)(or was it two books and one record) We will soon hear from him in his new Myspace. (or was it Facebook) (Two facebooks maybe)He said hallo to all his faithful fans and especially to A10.