Stratovarius Community

Arnie knows what goes on in your head,
Arnie knows who sleeps under your bed,
Arnie knows this must come to a stop,
Arnie knows he should be on top..*

Arnold "Arnie" Layne

*because that is how it works in the States

Huh! I'm flying to Helsinki now, before the storm...




On top of course..

Back in Sweden! I was allergic to A-tina. The wolf came out from the wardrobe. And! It was your fault Aaaarnnoold...Why couldn't you be hetero?

I, Arnold, follow my heart.

By the way, why don't you write anymore to Flavio??

Arnold Layne

Wasn't that clear, as sausage-broth? The wolf came out of the closet, and told me that he prefers YOU, Arnold. So even you ought to understand, why we no longer write to each other. Sorry, but I must repeat my eternal PFFFFFFF... Good luck! I can tell you that he is a bit strange...HUH!

How does it feel to lose to your brother?

My secret, by the way, is confidence. There is a lot I could teach you, about the art of seduction. Just ask Challe how I worked my magic on him, jaja...

Arnold "British Temptress" Layne

The La Platawalz.


I was walking with my darling at the beach of La Plata,

When my brother Arnold came by,

I introduced him to my loved one,

And while we were walking,

My brother stole my sweetheart from me.


I remember the night, at the La Plata sight,

And I know how much I have lost,

I lost my Gangstadarling,

The night we were walking,

At the beautiful La Plata beach...


Damn Arnold!

Since I feel most at home, on "My Nicest" I will give you the true Arnold Layne-biography here...

1.Arnold was born in Leeds, in England, screaming his lungs out. No one cared, and he got a primal-scream-trauma!
2.3.4.5. Kept howling! Mother hothot, Blenda Jackson, left him alone, when she hothotted an Estonian folksinger. Separation-anxiety!
6. Starts his raw-liver-eating. Red-blood-phobia!
7. Draws to washinglines. Lady-underwear-trauma!
8. Dreams about boys. Butt-trauma!
9. Realizes that Lisa, with the braces, is a boring sexobject. Brace and girl-phobia!
10. Finds fulfilment in eating steaks. Carrot-allergy!
11. Meets Karlheinz Stockhausen. Love at first sight.
12. Feels some heavy and strange movements, in stomach.
13. Challe alerts his doctor-friend Herbert, that opens Arnolds abdomen.
14. Out jumps the most fantastic, incredibly beautiful, lovely, delicate, charismatic, sweet girl. Her first word was goal so that was what they called her. Challe adopts her.
15 Arnold became jealous and wet Challes carpets. He was even shitting on them! Huh! He was forced to move.
16. Went to Seattle and a moss-muff-baker, ten minutes from Icecar. There he destroyed K. Rousters kebab and had to go back to England.
17. The washingline-inclination awakes and after he stole the Queens trousers, he ended up in jail.
18. Gives his wonderful sister's one-year old baby a pistola for Christmas.
19. The baby shoots Santa Gunter and the police found a fortune in Stockhausens attic. But no Santa!
Arnold is verboten to come to Germany, again!
20. Travels with his mother hothot Blenda and her new friend, the bald Russian Alex Borodowski to Bahamas, but got an allergy-shock of their activities.
21 Visits his wonderful sister, Goal, in Argentina, where she walks on La Plata-beach, with her lovely Flavio Ontario.
22. Bomkabum! Arnold in love! Again! With his adorable sisters boyfriend! And steals him.
23. But Goal didn't give up! She took back Flavio the next day, and demanded the 100 euros she had won in their betting.
24 Arnold ran away with Flavio in his arms and he sang...


Arnolds song on La Plata beach.

I love my Flavio I do,
And I will never let him go,
My dear, dear Flavio Ontario,
He is my dream revolucionario,
My love-summario,
And I will now bewario,
This lovely scenario,
With my mucho loved Ontario.

But the last word is not said, since Flavio is NOT a fagwolf and the fabolous Goal wants her 100 euro...

Could you explain a bit, about who is "Santa Gunter" and the circumstances in which he was shot with a pistola?

Goal Stockhausen wrote:

I saw Derrick-Arnold shoot our Santa Claus,

When he came to visit, Christmas night,

Derrick had just learnt to creep,

Down our stairs to peep,

We thought that he was tucked,

In his bedroom fast asleep,

Then he gunned our neighbor Santa Claus,

In the middle of his beard, white as a sheep,

It was no laugh at all to see,

Our poor neighbor on his knee,

When our Derrick shot him dead, on Christmas night.

Pfffff,,, Santa Gunter is no more, he pines for the fjords...you must read your "My Nicest"...

The Day that Lunch Never Ended
By Arnold Layne


July 8th, 1996, was splendid!
It was the day lunch never ended.
Though never quite as intended,
This particular meal was extended.

I remember that day, I hungered for steak,
I could eat a cow and drink a lake,
They kept bringing food, the platters were full,
My trousers were made of the finest wool,

At a certain point, it dawned on me-
This lunch would continue, indefinitely,
I continued eating, time after time,
Well, after all, it isn't a crime,

Lunch has continued for 15 years!
I must have drank ten thousand beers,
Years have past, I have grown in size,
You would not believe, your fucking eyes

Life was good- I was thin as a twig,
Now I'm greasier than an oil rig,
The only reason i'm not a winner:
If lunch never ends, then when is dinner??

Arnold Layne

great one!

Nananana! My big brother is very BAD at math! Haha! 1996 to 2013 is 17years. Not 15! Hahahahah Try again! Loverboy!

I can give you a lesson and lay my sweet hands on you. You will like that.

A stolen rhymepoem.


Arnold's rhymes are so very splendid,
That one only hopes, they never ended,
But at the same time wonder, what is intended,
And even more, what is here extended.

He very often talks about his steaks,
And beer in bigbig lakes,
His stomach uses to be overfull,
He even chews the muttonwool.

He likes to use the word ME,
And plays the head-part indefinitely,
He is himself enough all time,
And in that he can't see any crime.

But, he has some problem, when he counts years,
Maybe because he drinks too many beers,
The glass is often too big in size,
His stomach can't take, as much, as his fucking eyes.

In early years he looked like a beautytwig,
And dressed in the smartest of all rig,
And it was great to see him like a winner,
But huh, that was before he gobbled, every day, more than one dinner...

Hi all,

I'm here on account of some alleged "rhyme stealing" that's been going on.

Do you want to know how we punish such crimes?

If so, see my avatar.

Cheers,
-P

PRIAPUS wrote:Hi all,

I'm here on account of some alleged "rhyme stealing" that's been going on.

Do you want to know how we punish such crimes?

If so, see my avatar.

Cheers,
-P

Now they will really start stealing!!!!!!


Oh, I see! there is a goat there--is he going to take a bite?
Reminds me of The Game of Thrones. When old Maester Pycelle was caught in bed with a pretty young thing Lord Tyrion told one of his knights, "Cut his manhood off and feed it to the goats!"
The knight replied," But, my Lord, we have no goats."
Tyrion rolled his eyes and replied, "Well, make do."

Words, words! Not so much more. Ha!

PFFFFF and PFFFFF again...

ÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖ wrote: Words, words! Not so much more. Ha!

PFFFFF and PFFFFF again...

Also, please spell it with a T at the end. It is "PFFFFT", my child.

Cheers,
-P

PRIAPUS wrote:

ÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖ wrote: Words, words! Not so much more. Ha!

PFFFFF and PFFFFF again...

Also, please spell it with a T at the end. It is "PFFFFT", my child.

Cheers,
-P

Sorry Prippe, I am not your child! But Nea is, and you ought to show some fatherfeelings for him. You can not just go on as some "No Name" and pretend innocence.

Nea has rather recently got to know, that you blessed his nunmom, and that your careless fucking is a shame to the whole Greek Godcongregation.

Nea is a really sweet boy, even if he has some, a little strange habits. He is often invisible, breaths heavily under beds and has a relation with Arnold Laynes mother, the hothot Blenda Jackson Layne.

He also likes nomnomnoms and isn't it time you two have a talk...


Cheers and PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFpfffffffffffffffffffff...

Papa?

Could that be you?? Oh, happy days! At last! We can finally go to a bowflex coliseum and witness the game of love!

Please papa!

HUH!

Arnold Layne

Haha! There there! I put you down! And there you can stay the whole night! Ha! Sleep well, if you can, for worry how Flavio is flying out of your grip. He is mine. YES!

Back on top, and its about time.

Flying out of my grip? Get real
Let me tell you something about Mr. Ontivero. He does not tolerate freckles on a girl. At all! He has freckle allergies and hates them. Freckles to Flavio are like sushi to Pekka Nurmi. So you will find yourself out of luck, while I will reel him in like a fish... with my curvaceous figure and flirtatious British mannerisms.

Arnold Layne

I knew it! I knew it! Those damn, fucking dots! Always the dots! I will not bother him more! I am so ashamed... I will lock for the nearest watercourse...

Goal Stockhausen wrote: I knew it! I knew it! Those damn, fucking dots! Always the dots! I will not bother him more! I am so ashamed... I will lock for the nearest watercourse...

huh....... come on, if im not so sexy like *ooooooooooo* sweeden porra clone dna or the robo foerg blonde nigga.

Is it really, really true, Flavio, that you are allergic to freckles??

My brother Arnold is, when it suits his sneaky plans, a little careless with the truth, and I will believe it, first when you acknowledge it.

I take your silence as consenting to freckleallery! So bye, bye Flavio...

So now you are IMPOTENT ? But it can't be that unexpected with all the stress you have to endure and you should try not to worry so much. I am sure you soon will be fit for fight again and it is a good thing you don't have a greengreen Paris that someone here is afflicted with. A sloutching greengreen Paris is an abomination you don't wish for your worst enemy.