Stratovarius Community

Stranger: hi
You: hello. How are you?
Stranger: fine, and u?
You: I'M REALLY HAPPY!!! I just got the call from the doctor.
You: Do you know what he said?
You: IT IS NOT A TUMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You: NOT A TUMA!!!
You: AT ALL!!!!
Stranger: ??
Stranger: where are you from?
You: I am detective John Kimball. I'M A COP, YOU IDIOT!!!
Stranger: ok!!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Do you have a pussy? With the titts and stuff?

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: You: Hello. My name is TIMO TOLKKI. I am warrior of light and mastermind who has written 95% of Stratovarius songs and most of the lyrics. How are you?
Stranger: im great
Stranger: and great to meet a warrior
You: Are you Jens?
Stranger: sure
You: Fuck!!!
You: You are SHITTING on my music and wiping your ass with the cover art!
Stranger: sure
You: I am taking lithium for my bipolar disorder and have not had a drop of alcohol in ten years.
Stranger: OKAY
You: I am very happy with my south american clinics Both metal clinics (for fans) and mental clinics (for me) =)
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stealth wrote: I can't believe anyone would be stupid enough to 1) believe that you are Michael Kiske and 2) give you his name, address, and phone number just like that. Did you make this up?!? Could this possibly be a real chat session?

NeverendingAbyss wrote:BAHAHAHA

So is Goodbye Pablo a meme now?

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: What do you think is the best weapon against a zombie?
You: AN ANTIDOTE! BY THE WAY, HOW DO YOU TURN OFF CAPS?
Stranger: I'unno bro
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: Khello!
You: I am from Ukraine. The GLORIOUS country on Earthh
Stranger: sweet, im from the us
You: Ukraine is strong and bests in everything. Beats everyone in soccer and in war. Ukrain is my love
Stranger: haha, i guess i dont really know much about ukrain
You: So you think Ukraine is feeble? It is weak?
Stranger: no haha
You: Thanks. I was going to smash board to pieces but not now. Ukrain is paradise
Stranger: where is it?
You: This is a despiccable. But it is next to those Russian dogs and North of those foolish Turks. Ukrain is the BEST COUNTRY ON EARTHHH!
Stranger: thats where i thought but i wasnt sure...we havent studies europe yet in my world geograpy class
You: You must study Ukrain as a child. You must live in Ukrain. My name is Igor Danyleyko. Nice to meeet you American hircine.
Stranger: wuts a hircine?
You: you speak englsuhsh and i know more words. what is your school teaching you? Come to Ukrain and join the best people.
You: caprylic misereres are running everywhere but no in Ukrain.
You: Ukrain is GOD
after a long silence
Stranger: u called me a goat?
You: A lustful, smelly goat to be corect, because Ukrain is better
Stranger: oh is it?
You: Yes. Ukrain can defeat anyone without nukes. We can has hands tied back and eyes blind and we win
Stranger: cool
You: Tell me, when will Stratovarius come to Kiev?
Stranger: i dont know wut stratovarius is
You: WAT! You disgreacefully ashamed our flag. I ask when they come. Venezuela never goes, but Ukrain is a must go.
You: In that case, is a bowflex worth it?
Stranger: no, ppl get them but they never have time, so i guess yes if u have the time to work out
You: I am from Ukrain. I can multitask. Those people you know are not in Ukrain. Ukranians can work out while sleeping.
Stranger: hahaha...well in that case....
You: One last favor-
You: There is a man who's name is AAAAAAAAAA
You: he do not like Ukrain
You: Says it is feeble
You: Tell him to disappear
You: he has to leave ukrain, you hear?
You: say that good bye to pablo is nothing
You: Kiev will rise!
Stranger: im confused
You: Just say to him: Out of Ukrain!
Stranger: okay
You: I will be grateful and I will love America again
Stranger: hahaha...how do i find this "man"
You: No my dear meretrix. just say it
You: right now
You: He do not like me
You: write it here
Stranger: okay?
Stranger: AAAAAAAAAAAAA dissapear
You: No no no... notice the numbers of A. There are ten. try agian!
Stranger: AAAAAAAAAA dissapear
You: Thank you. When Ukrain invades Amerika, we will be merciful when executing. many thank you
You: I must drink a vodka now. Farewell!
Stranger: hahahaha...toodlelou
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: ..
You: HELLO. THIS IS STINKY FROM INDIA. PLEASE SEND HELP.
Stranger: umm m ok??
You: DO YOU SEE HOW THIS TEXT IS CAPITALIZED?
You: I HAVE A SIMILAR PROBLEM IN MY PANTS.
Stranger: kinda
You: CAPS LOCK HAS BEEN ON FOR 3 DAYS NOW. IT IS VERY PAINFUL!
Stranger: ha:)
Stranger: lol very nice
You: SOMEONE MUST HAVE PRESSED SHIFT FIVE TIMES BECAUSE STICKEY-KEYS IS ON, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!
Stranger: yep
You: I JUST NEED YOU TO SEND SOMEONE TO CONTROL-ALT-DELETE THIS PROBLEM.
You: THIS....AFFLICTION.
You: IN MY PANTALOONS.
You: CAN YOU SEND PRIAPUS?
You: CAN YOU SEND PABLO?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Hi Pablo!
Stranger: yo jose
You: What is THAT supposed to mean?
You: You wanna go out to the movies later?
Stranger: you called me pablo.
Stranger: sure.
You: Yeah..haha
You: you're in a weird mood
You: So which one you wanna see?
Stranger: let's see the blind side that is so sad.
You: Yeah I know!
You: You wanna grab dinner first or...?
Stranger: how bout win at my place after?
You:
Stranger: *wine
You: well yeah!
You: But uh...will Pekka be there?
Stranger: nah, hombre, pekka's out
You: Thank GOD. I mean, don't take it personally.
You: I think he's a nice guy and all.
You: Its just....the smell...
You: I don't even know how to describe it haha (again dont take offense0
Stranger: It's the smell of herpes and urine.
You: Its like goat...like hircine. Like hircismus, miserere
You: Ok, so uhh
You: Do you have your bunk bed raised? Is there room down there?
Stranger: He has AIDS, tests came back, so there's like a 90% i have it from him, and like an 80% you have it from me
You: hahaha pablo you are talking crazy today
Stranger: Tests don't lie, esse
You: so we'll all fit under there ok? Me, you and that guy from ukraine?
You: what's his name again?
Stranger: Stefen
You: the guy with the temper?
You: Stefen. I thought it was like Igor or something.
Stranger: oh that's sventan
You: It must be igor...
Stranger: they all start with s
You: I mean the last time, remember?
Stranger: tell him to bring his sister svetlana
You: He named his privates the "howitzer" and said he was gonna tear down the great wall?
You: And he pretty much smashed it to pieces! hahahaha
Stranger: Oh yeah! the Wall guy!!
You: Alright, so I guess i'll head over to your place now
You: I mean...
You: you want me to bring anything?
Stranger: Alright what are you wearing, like cusual or dressy?
Stranger: condoms.
Stranger: definitely condoms.
You: haha i thought you have those
You: doesnt hurt to have extra
Stranger: i'm out from last night with that german man
You: what german man
You: ...?
You: are you messing w/ me again
Stranger: Adolf
You: hahaha you are so funny today Pablo
Stranger: Ey, it
Stranger: is what i do
You: you still have that bowflex there btw?
Stranger: yeah, you wanna take a ride?
You: well yeah but didnt igor smash that to pieces last time lol
Stranger: no he just popped that inflatable doll
You: hahaha what
You: we really need to catch up
Stranger: come on over!
You: anyway
You: BYE PABLO!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi asl?
You: Look, I'm really afraid
You: please help me
Stranger: ok....
You: A dog nearly killed my son
You: And I dont know what to do
Stranger: how did the dog almost kill ur son?
You: He bit him in the ass
You: and now he is bleeding
You: Please help!
Stranger: put r finger inside his ass
You: and what the fuck do you thing I've been doing since the last hour!?!?!
Stranger: how bout a reach around?
You: what the hell do you mean?
Stranger: with ur finger in his bum, reach around and give his wanky a little tug
Stranger: cradle the balls a little too
You: I see
You: but well his "wanky" got a little crushed too
You: Hey, it's really difficult to type with just one hand
You: should I use my feet to barricade his anus???
You: would it work?
Stranger: my anus
Stranger: yes
You: what in the bloody hell your anus has to do with my now bleeding son?!?!
You: do you have mental deficiencies pal? he is dying!!
Stranger: do u have a dildo?
You: My wife has one, yes
You: But I think she took it with her to her job
Stranger: put it in my anus
Stranger: noooo
You: How would THAT help my son you idiot???
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Hey!
Stranger: I'm 19 years old, japan, female, you?
You: I'm 12 male, from El Salvador
Stranger: well your not old enough to have sex
You: I sure am
Stranger: wanna have it with me?
Stranger: wow nevermind
Stranger: this is weird
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi
You: my name is Bill Evans
Stranger: Horny m?
You: I like french horns, sure
You: do you like augmented 4ths?
Your conversational partner has disconnected

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: Hi
You: Do you like Jazz?
Stranger: ya its ok
Stranger: why?
You: Because my name is Chick Corea
You: you may have heard of me
Stranger: nope
You: Then YOU are an asshole pal
You have disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hi
You: Khello?
Stranger: Well HAY
You: I come from Ukraine! How are you today/
Stranger: Good, how are you?
You: From UKRAINE in KIEV (city of the GOLD) I am good
You: UKRAINE IS GREATEST COUNTRY IN PARADISE!!!
Stranger: Cool!
You: and where you coming from, you are american hircine I suppose?
Stranger: I am
You: (wasn't american hircine a green day album or something?)
Stranger: "American Idiot"
You: well nice to meet you yankee hircismus, caprylic miserere
Stranger: lol ur mad
Stranger: lol
Stranger: lol
You: Pablo has a question
You: Pablo wants to know, when will Strato LEAVE Kiev? He loves goodbyes!
Stranger: Try to piss me off, Pablo, I don't care about my country
You: dont make me smash board
You: Can you please tell Pablo when Strato leave kiev?
Stranger: You are anti-American, correct?
You: I am PRO UKRAINE.
You: UKRAINE (GREATEST!!! MORE WONDERFUL country than the USA)
Stranger: Hircine, I am to assume, translates to "idiot" in English, am I right so far?
You: why you think?
Stranger: And, you most certainly did refer to me as a yankee idiot
Stranger: Because, the green day album is titled "American Idiot"
You: American Hircine?
You: I'm pretty sure you have it wrong. Its American Hircine.
You: I'm 90% sure
You: Anyway...
Stranger: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Idiot
Stranger: haueuahe.
You: Let me take look..
You: Oh...
You: The UKRAINE version of cd (which is greatest!!!) has title American Hircine. For marketing reasons, I guess.
You: Interesting...
You: You know band is not even called Green Day here. It is called CAPRYLIC MERETRIX.
You: All marketing...
You: SO ARE YOU A YANKEE!?
Stranger: Hey, I bite.
Stranger: You win.
You: UKRAINE WINS
You: always
Stranger: You are indeed, the better troll.
Stranger: I fell for it, comrade.
You: ....
Stranger: The smell of herpes and urine.
You: WHAT
Stranger: Hircine
You: HUUUUH!?
You: UKRAINE IS CONFUSED!!!
Stranger: UKRAINE IS GOD
Stranger: AMERICAN GOAT
You: well...
Stranger: Tell Pablo
Stranger: Kiev will rise
Stranger: I am a man whose name is AAAAAAA
You: What? You have it all wrong!!!
Stranger: Pardon
Stranger: AAAAAAAAAA
You: I am the one who bears this name!! IT IS ME!!!
You: And you....
You: WHO ARE YOU!
Stranger: I am a man whose eyes catch the light
Stranger: BYO PABLO
Stranger: SIGN MY CD
You: you say bye to pablo!?
Stranger: PABLO YOU ARE HIRCINE
You: Do you KNOW who is pablo!?
Stranger: PABLO IS HIRCINE
You: DONT TELL PABLO THAT! YOU TALK CRAZY!!!!
Stranger: AMIRITE OR AMIRITE
You: You are OUT OF CONTROL!!
Stranger: ITTY BITTY BABY YOU GOD DAMN NIGGER
You: HUUUUUH....I dont know what priapus will do to us once he catches a glimpse of this...
Stranger: HE CAN SHOVE HIS ASS UP HIS ASS
You: that would be a commendable feat of acrobatics...
Stranger: Hehauehaue.
You: Do you have any words for our Strato Forummers...?
You: ....!
Stranger: Tell them I admitted defeat
You: And how so?
Stranger: I used the google
Stranger: and discovered my gullibility, if that should be a word in my dictionary
You: I noticed that "American Hircine" redirects to our lovely place.
You: Anyway, we're through here. I think you'll have more luck as private detective than a MERETRIX. Goodbye.
You have disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi
Stranger: uhave myspace
You: I have my space not yours :/
Stranger: ............. i have a myspace add me as a friend
You: what's your myspace?
Stranger: type my e mail its XXXXX@yahoo.com (there was his name)
You: hmmm
You: so you are a guy
Stranger: yea
Stranger: u
You: Im gay, would you like somethin?
Stranger: like wat
You: like... anal sex?
Stranger: really r u gay
You: yea
Stranger: so wats ur name
You: Dave
Stranger: mines jose
You: isn't it victor?
Stranger: WTF!!!! how da hell did u figured out dat ma name is dat
You: I am god
You: funnily enough, I am gay
You: and am currently looking here
Stranger: dude fuck you man ok
You: why do you say "fuck you"?
You: Im god and I love you Victor Jose
Your conversational partner has disconnected

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi
Stranger: hey
You: Like Bach?
Stranger: johan sebastian bach?
You: it isnt spelled that way, but I guess we're refering to the same person
Stranger: sebastian bach i knows right Idk about the johan part lol he's good on occasion
You: its Johann with 2 n's
You: but well
You: what's ur favorite BWV?
Stranger: lol close
Stranger: bwv?
You: ye
You: yea
Stranger: you mean bmw?
You: no
Stranger: what's a bwv?
You: Im not sure
Stranger: lol
You: well Lets fuck
Stranger: asl?
You: yea
You: :
You:
Stranger: what's your asl?
You: ohh
You: I see
You: well I'm Jens Johansson, from sweden and am 40 years old
You: you?
Stranger: Mark Riggs Australia 28
Stranger: pic?
You: wait
You: http://koti.welho.com/jhakkin1/sob/gfx/jan/jens.jpg
You:
Your conversational partner has disconnected

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: Cómo te baila?
Stranger: asl?
You: sí
Stranger: english please
You: castellano por favor
Stranger: i dont understand
You: digo que EXIJO que me escribas en castellano!!!!!!
Stranger: you jerk
You: el pelotudo sos vos por no escribir en mi idioma
You: qué creés? Que el mundo gira en torno al inglés?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi
You: name?
Stranger: Stranger
You: What's up Stranger?
Stranger: lol
Stranger: you are the first person to stay
Stranger: my name is actually Cullen
You: Nice to meet you. I'm Juan Capusotto van der Turunen
Stranger: Holy balls thats a long name
Stranger: where are you from?
You: Rodrigombia
Stranger: where is that?
You: In the Caribbean, close to Kiribati
You: It's an ex Dutch colony
Stranger: ahh
Stranger: im just from plain old canada
You: where in Canada?
Stranger: ontario
You: Where in Ontario?
Stranger: near toronto
You: where near Toronto? Mississauga? Etobicoke? Ajax? Oakville? Scarborough? Newmarket?
Stranger: just, near toronto
You: wtf? Are you afraid of me?
You: You have something against Rodrigombians?
Stranger: hell yes
You: oh ok then, the Canadian multiculturalist fallacy has been exposed!
You: Racist!
Stranger: no you are the racist, telling me i can't like or dislike someone because of my ethnicity.
Stranger: its quite sad D:
You: How can I be saying that when I don't even know what your ethnicity is?
You: Btw, what's with that Torontonian monument to Phallustine?
Stranger: dunno ask the PM
You: You know, the tallest free-standing cock monument
You: So what city in America would you like Toronto to be like?
Stranger: alabama, so i can fuck my sister
You: Alabama is not a city, you moron
Stranger: but you see
Stranger: if toronto was like alabame
Stranger: alabama*
Stranger: people would be to stupid to tell the difference
You: Seems to me like you are stupid enough not to be able to tell the difference as it is! No need to resemble Alabama!
Stranger: ah
Stranger: i mixed up a state and a city, im not the first, and i wont be the last
You: Seems like you guys could really learn a lot from the American educational system. I mean, you play their sports, you have their accent, your cities look almost the same (only you have more farms than cities)
You: and the list goes ever on
Stranger: we play there sports? what sports would those be? baseball and football? cities are cities no one cares what they look like, and if you cared about your education you wouldnt care which nation the system came from
Stranger: come on finger typer be quicker so i can go take a hit from my crack pipe and beat my mom
You: "oh, I'm Canadian.... I'm so open-minded, so polite... I don't talk to anyone and don't make real friends, but I'm always politically correct"
You: you wanna take a hit from Phallustine on your crack?!?
Stranger: yup
You: Damn, you are boring even when you pretend not to care about what people tell you, you intolerant Canuck!
Stranger: im perfectly fine sitting here reading about how you'd love to polish america's nut sack
You: Who told you I haven't already done so?
Stranger: canuck, thats a new one, i guess google ftw
You: yes, I like to keep up with the latest linguistic trends
Stranger: i didnt know being racist was a trend?
Stranger: but now i have a meaning in life
Stranger: ill be the newest rapper sensation
You: are you from this planet? Being a racist has ALWAYS been trendy, you moron!
Stranger: lil' syrup and ill plaster the game with canuck and claim it just for white canadians
Stranger: no racism is only trendy on the internet, like right now for instense.
Stranger: when the user is fortunate enough to be hiding behind a computer screen
Stranger: cuz in the real word he'd get his ass stomped for saying it
You: indeed. I feel way more bored than I feel threatened or offended... Ok, this Rodrigombian salutes you from Montreal, the land of the moronic Quebec nationalists
Stranger: thanks eh
Stranger: im glad we can put this behind us
Stranger: i didnt really know what the fuss was all aboot
Stranger: dar marn is nearin and i was tend to the dairy cows by, peace a late broha
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi
Stranger: hiya
Stranger: where ya from?
You: Uruguay, you?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi
Stranger: hi
You: Hi
Stranger: hiiiiii
You: Hi
You: how are you?
Stranger: fine and u
You: Hi
You: Hey!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: yo
You: Hi
Stranger: hm...
Stranger: this isnt working out
You: I'm glad we reached an agreement
Stranger: d/c
You: bye
Stranger: now!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi
Stranger: hello there
Stranger:
Stranger: how are you?
You: fine
You: asl?
Stranger: 15, f, finlan
Stranger: d
Stranger: you?
You: 17 m Argentina. Where in Finland?
Stranger: lapland
You: Where in Lappi?
Stranger: Sodankylä
You: Is that anywhere close to Ivalo, Rovaniemi, or Kemi perhaps?
Stranger: Rovaniemi
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi
Stranger: Milano?
You: Palermo!
Stranger: Damn
Stranger: Lol
Your conversational partner has disconnected

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi
Stranger: hello
You: Hi
You: Hiiiiiiiii
Stranger: What's up?
You: Hello
Stranger: what's wrong with you?
You: I'm being friendly
You:
Stranger: Ok,how friendly you are!
You: Hi
Stranger: Could you chang one word?
You: how are you?
Stranger: I'm fine,thank you
You: that's nice.
You: Hey....
You: listen
Stranger: OK
You: Hi
Stranger: Hi
You: Helloo
You: Are you there????
Stranger: where?
You: Helloooooooooooo!!
You: Are you with me?
Stranger: I think so
You: hey
You: Hiiiiiiii
Stranger: Hej
You: what's up?
Stranger: Nothing
You: how are you doing?
You: I hope this evening finds you well
Stranger: I'm well,at least i think so
You: whatś new?
Stranger: i can't understand you
You: Heeeeeeyyyyy!
You: Helloooo!
Stranger: Helloooo
You: Hiiii!!!!
Stranger: Heeeeeeyyyyy
Stranger: Hiiii!!!!
You: How are you?
Stranger: How are you?
You: fine thank you, how are you doing?
Stranger: fine thank you, how are you doing
You: I'm doing ok, yourself?
Stranger: myselves
You: lol you are funny
You: so what's new?
Stranger: do you have any news?
You: not really, you?
Stranger: no too
You: so how's everything over there?
Stranger: very well
You: and how are you doing?
Stranger: I have nothing to do
You: what's up with that?
Stranger: I'm very boring
You: Hi
Stranger: Hi
You: Hello
Stranger: Hello
You: So... you really can't take a girl's hint....
You: HELLO
Stranger: HELLO
You: Ugh, you don't get it... What's a girl to do?
Stranger: I don't know
You: Hi
Stranger: Oh,what's your meaning about?
You: Ahem...
You: HI
Stranger: HI
You: Oh for fuck's sake, you blew it!
You: JERK!
You have disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hey
Stranger: hi
Stranger: whats up
You: not much, having sex ATM
You: you?
Stranger: ...
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hey
Stranger: WANKER
You: of course
You: you?
Stranger: sorry i thought you were my ex
You: i am your ex
Stranger: blatantly
Stranger: my most recent one
You: ?
Stranger: we fucked
Stranger: im joking
You: i remember you
You: awful sex
Stranger: o definatleyu
Stranger: were u from
Stranger: look i didnt fuck you your choud is to small
You: dont you recognize me?
You: im sitting next to you
Stranger: o blatantly i really shagged laurne
You: yeah right
You: my choud is small?
You: then you arent the one i remember
Stranger: yup
Stranger: im a guy
Stranger: im 13
Stranger: tht makes you a pedo
You: and you are 13 and you fucked?
Stranger: imcalling the police
You: yeah right
Stranger: i am im terrified of you
You: you should
Stranger: scary mary
You: just for you to know
Stranger: your cocks got warts on it
You: im a dude too
You: and I am a pedo
You: better be aware
Stranger: i liked gay sex with you but i never cam u never probed my prostate properly
You: maybe cause you havent one?
Stranger: fuck off its better then yours
Stranger: can we try anal beads pluz
You: sick bastard, i only fuck child below 10 years
Stranger: sorry when i sed 13
Stranger: i meant 1 + 3
You: how on earth can you write?
Stranger: im a child prodigy
You: go back to your mum's pussy
Stranger: im like stephen hawkin
You: woah!
Stranger: i touch it lots
Stranger: she abuses me
Stranger: im one fucked up child
You: porr asshole
Stranger: spell right plz
You: ok, plz
You: come on dude
Stranger: bang me up proper
You: if plz is spell right
Stranger: allow bruv
Stranger: standard weather init
You: ?
You: talk in english please!
Stranger: i am ghetto english
Stranger: ghetto boooty
You: jajajja
You: go to hell wanker
You have disconnected.

AAAAAAAAAA wrote:This one was just BIZARRE!
(Pablo really took a beating this time )

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hi
You: Khello?
Stranger: Well HAY
You: I come from Ukraine! How are you today/
Stranger: Good, how are you?
You: From UKRAINE in KIEV (city of the GOLD) I am good
You: UKRAINE IS GREATEST COUNTRY IN PARADISE!!!
Stranger: Cool!
You: and where you coming from, you are american hircine I suppose?
Stranger: I am
You: (wasn't american hircine a green day album or something?)
Stranger: "American Idiot"
You: well nice to meet you yankee hircismus, caprylic miserere
Stranger: lol ur mad
Stranger: lol
Stranger: lol
You: Pablo has a question
You: Pablo wants to know, when will Strato LEAVE Kiev? He loves goodbyes!
Stranger: Try to piss me off, Pablo, I don't care about my country
You: dont make me smash board
You: Can you please tell Pablo when Strato leave kiev?
Stranger: You are anti-American, correct?
You: I am PRO UKRAINE.
You: UKRAINE (GREATEST!!! MORE WONDERFUL country than the USA)
Stranger: Hircine, I am to assume, translates to "idiot" in English, am I right so far?
You: why you think?
Stranger: And, you most certainly did refer to me as a yankee idiot
Stranger: Because, the green day album is titled "American Idiot"
You: American Hircine?
You: I'm pretty sure you have it wrong. Its American Hircine.
You: I'm 90% sure
You: Anyway...
Stranger: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Idiot
Stranger: haueuahe.
You: Let me take look..
You: Oh...
You: The UKRAINE version of cd (which is greatest!!!) has title American Hircine. For marketing reasons, I guess.
You: Interesting...
You: You know band is not even called Green Day here. It is called CAPRYLIC MERETRIX.
You: All marketing...
You: SO ARE YOU A YANKEE!?
Stranger: Hey, I bite.
Stranger: You win.
You: UKRAINE WINS
You: always
Stranger: You are indeed, the better troll.
Stranger: I fell for it, comrade.
You: ....
Stranger: The smell of herpes and urine.
You: WHAT
Stranger: Hircine
You: HUUUUH!?
You: UKRAINE IS CONFUSED!!!
Stranger: UKRAINE IS GOD
Stranger: AMERICAN GOAT
You: well...
Stranger: Tell Pablo
Stranger: Kiev will rise
Stranger: I am a man whose name is AAAAAAA
You: What? You have it all wrong!!!
Stranger: Pardon
Stranger: AAAAAAAAAA
You: I am the one who bears this name!! IT IS ME!!!
You: And you....
You: WHO ARE YOU!
Stranger: I am a man whose eyes catch the light
Stranger: BYO PABLO
Stranger: SIGN MY CD
You: you say bye to pablo!?
Stranger: PABLO YOU ARE HIRCINE
You: Do you KNOW who is pablo!?
Stranger: PABLO IS HIRCINE
You: DONT TELL PABLO THAT! YOU TALK CRAZY!!!!
Stranger: AMIRITE OR AMIRITE
You: You are OUT OF CONTROL!!
Stranger: ITTY BITTY BABY YOU GOD DAMN NIGGER
You: HUUUUUH....I dont know what priapus will do to us once he catches a glimpse of this...
Stranger: HE CAN SHOVE HIS ASS UP HIS ASS
You: that would be a commendable feat of acrobatics...
Stranger: Hehauehaue.
You: Do you have any words for our Strato Forummers...?
You: ....!
Stranger: Tell them I admitted defeat
You: And how so?
Stranger: I used the google
Stranger: and discovered my gullibility, if that should be a word in my dictionary
You: I noticed that "American Hircine" redirects to our lovely place.
You: Anyway, we're through here. I think you'll have more luck as private detective than a MERETRIX. Goodbye.
You have disconnected.

You: Alabama is not a city, you moron
Stranger: but you see
Stranger: if toronto was like alabame
Stranger: alabama*
Stranger: people would be to stupid to tell the difference
You: Seems to me like you are stupid enough not to be able to tell the difference as it is! No need to resemble Alabama!

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: why are you meowing?
You: hi! I am the prince of Nigeria
You: I was dethroned by the rebels
You: and I need $55 million to aid my army and take back my throne
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Hi- i'm former President Abraham Lincoln who famously led Union troops to a crushing victory during the American Civil War, and reunited the country.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
Stranger: Hi
You: Like unicorns?
Stranger: Iove them!M
You: great!
You: we have enough things in common to be partners
You: mind being my girlfriend ?
Stranger: I'm a dude kid.
You: it doesnt matter
You: I do both ways
Stranger: Your tapped
You: what?
Stranger: I don't do both ways
You: FUCK YOU
You have disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: heyy boo bear
You: pikachu?
You: is that you?
Stranger: huhhh
You: I need you, pikachu
You: please forgive me
You: Bulvasaur is a bastard
You: I love YOU
Stranger: huhh wuts ur names
You: Ash
You: u dont remember me?
You: I was your first trainer
You: we spent lots of good times
You:
Stranger: do u no who this is ?
You: yes pikachu
You: I know you very well
You: would you forgive me?
You: please?
Stranger: no this antt pikachu
You:
You: have you seen him?
Stranger: this is the black santa clause
Stranger: nd ima jew
You: What's a jew?
You: is that an evolution?
Stranger: a jewish person?
You: Im ASH!
Stranger: thats nice immm the poop in ur tolit
You: Now that's squirtle...
You: you're just confused
Stranger: no im not im perfectly fine
You: you're fucked up
You: I need to find pikachu!!!
You:
You: bye...
You have disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hello there, good sir!
Stranger: hey
You: My name is Lauri Porra from Finland
Stranger: i have problems can you help me?
You: yes, sir!
Stranger: oke
Stranger: listen
You: Tell my thy altercations
Stranger: i´m in love
Stranger: with a boy but he is very far away
Stranger: i love him so much:(
You: you want to see him again? where is he, and where are you?
Stranger: england and he is in the usa
Stranger: i want it so:(
You: USA? Finland is the way to go!
You: We have icy women
You: and I think am man named Jens Johansson from Sweden hosts here in Helsinki
Stranger: i thought you are a girl sry:D
You: Lauri Porra is a man's name for Finns, except that Porra means MERETRIX in Portuguese
Stranger: oh
Stranger: you are so friendly
You: Thank you! I play the bass for a band named Stratovarius
You: Recently Timo Tolkki has given me some hate letters. I don't like that dude anymore
You: But hopefully the next tour video will clear my thick anguish and make me feel happy
You: By the way, BEEEEER! *thumbs up*
Stranger: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH i think your band sounds great
Stranger: and timo tolkki is an idiot
You: I thank you for concurring. Selling the band like that! What a hircine!
You: But I am working on a solo project inspired by the movie Hammer 9
Stranger: i will buy your cd
Stranger: how old are you
You: 45 I think. Even though Timo Kotipelto is somehow younger than me, I still have my teen spirit vivid and joyful!
You: Tell me, my British friend, where would you like Stratovarius to come?
Stranger: öh
Stranger: nice question
You: I am going through different sites to see any other tour locations. I just need to know who needs Strato. China was OK, but they were interested in a man outside
You: playing an exotic intrument
Stranger: ahh you have to play in london
Stranger: they love 45 old singers
You: I just went there not long ago in the world tour.
You: They have crazy fans for Metal
Stranger: hmmm whats about swedn?
You: Jens worries about Sweden. Stockholm was a good city, but it's neighboring Helsinki and I want to go somewhere else.
You: I hope he doesn't read this, haha!
Stranger: hmmm germany?
You: Yes, I've been there with the dudes. Lots of beer, too! Matias passed out like 3 times in one night. I think we need to regulate our visits to Germany
You: Anywhere in South America?
You: Maybe Venezuela. We skipped that country so many times
Stranger: listen my friend i don´t know trie it in las vegas
You: I think 12-year-old boy's dream would come true
Stranger: what
You: There is a little boy in Venezuela who wants to see us
You: Las Vegas is a good choice
You: What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas
Stranger: yes
Stranger: right
You: Ok, thank you for your time. I need to find Jorg Michael. He went to buy some cigarretes but hasn't returned for 2 hours now
Stranger: no problem my friend
Stranger: go and search jorg
Stranger: all good
Stranger: i will see u someday on tv
You: I hope you find your boy in USA. I'm sure of it:)
Stranger: thank you:)
You: By the way, you can listen to When Mountains Fall. I felt the same pain that you are feeling right now. But now I'm good.
You: Bye!
Stranger: thanks! bye
Stranger:
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hello. My name is Timo. I think it is peaceful here.
Stranger: hi, cool name, and if you think this is peaceful you truly are a trooper haha
You: Thank you. I have written 95% of Stratovarius songs and most of the lyrics. And you?
Stranger: you're welcome. that would be more interesting if i knew who that was
Stranger: my names vanessa and uh, vanessa's my name
You: Recently, my Saana master was stolen. This is very, very bad....
Stranger: what is that?
You: I will soon play in a festival called PORNO ROCK.
Stranger: lol
Stranger: you're crazy wierd
You: Please do not criticize me. Do you know the original of the word criticize is "to find fault with"?
Stranger: no i did not
You: Do you have any idea how many billion dollars the United States spends on its military every day?
Me neither! This is very, very bad...
Stranger: are you copying and pasting?
Stranger: cause that is very, very bad :p
You: I just think that you should not listen to everything Jens says, it is obvious he is the bitter one here. Otherwise I am very happy in my clinics in South America.
Stranger: lol
Stranger: tell me more
You: I recently hired a company called F-Secure, they are doing my IT work as well as my taxes. They even help me write some songs. I just got a report that you are icecab, but do not worry; I will not smash board. I am not from Ukraine and I am very peaceful guy.
Stranger: and icecab?
You: Icecab is a nice guy deep down inside. It can be very peaceful here if we try, see?
You: Can I tell you a secret?
Stranger: sure
You: I am taking Lithium for my bipolar disorder, and have not had a drop of alcohol in ten years.
Stranger: that's awesome man
Stranger: but rehabs for quitters! >:p
You: Sometimes, a band splitting up is like a divorce. Its very unpleasant, but it must happen. Unfortunately, Stratovarius band members got the house, the car, and even the dog. They are pissing on my art.
Stranger: The Bisquick is conviently located on top of the fridge.
You: I think Kotipelto should quit metal and just start singing in Disney films...what do you think about that?
Stranger: who is kotipelto -___________-
You: He is the guy who hacked my personal myspace account. He is also icetray.
Stranger: oh dang, not cool man
You: I own something called the Saana foundation. Would you like to make a donation?
Stranger: sure why the hell not
You: How much would you be willing to donate? Hiro gave me his television, and some other guy I met in Spain donated a signed demo CD of UNISONIC by Michael Kiske. They are good guys.
Stranger: i googled you
Stranger: you look mad asian
You: What do you mean...what did you google? The internet can be a peaceful place if we try...
You: Fright Night is an excellent frisbee, by the way.
Stranger: you type super ridiculously fast
You: I know...130 WPM. But that is besides the point.
You: I talk very very slowly...so it evens out.
Stranger: that truly is incredible
Stranger: the fastest i ever got was like 80 -.-
You: Interesting.
You: I am heading to Italy today to record a band called Vision Divine. Last time I went to China, there was an earthquake. I think it was my fault.
Stranger: why was it your fault?
You: Ok here is the reason: I grew tired of being a woman.
Stranger: so you have your own recording studio eh?
You: This is very , very bad....
Stranger: good bye
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: horny?
You: My name is Priapus
You: Do you know who I am?
Stranger: no?
You: I am king of kings, god of gods, stud of studs!
Stranger: stud?
You: Yes, my permanently erected phallus is my major weapon
Stranger: mmm,can your weapon handle my model body?
Stranger: http://s895.photobucket.com/albums/ac15 ... 2667d2.jpg
You: Who do you think I am, boy?
You: Zeus expelled me from olympus because he does not have a big phallus like mine
Stranger: haha
You: I can handle STINKY anytime anywhere
Stranger: stinky?me?pshhhh
You: Is that you, STINKY?
You: No... you cannot be STINKY
You: he is suppose to be doing groceries for my millions of children
Stranger: i am not stinky!
You: OK, great. I thought STINKY had another lover. He cheats on me too often
Stranger: i am Aphrodite
You: Oh yes! I remember you
You: Remember when we used to date?
Stranger: mhmmm:)
You: You always cried for my Phallus!
You: But now I have a family... an A-family
Stranger: haha!
You: Their microphallus were unfortunately consumed by a monster
You: Tolkkisaurus
You: He dipped them in fishliveroil and just gobbled those poor microphallae
Stranger: ohh cool?
You: No. Now I have to start family again. They morphed into ducks, you see.
You: Happy ducks!
Stranger: haha!
Stranger: i wish we can date agian
You: STINKY would not permit me. But meet me in Phallustine. We can catch up!
Stranger: okay!
Stranger: cause i want you Pallus again
You: You mean my pHallus! Yes. I want to have intercourse.
You: Uh-Oh!
You: STINKY is coming
You: I must flee!
Stranger: no dont leave!
You: Meet me at 4:33
Stranger: okay
You: I will be in a feces-brown box all day
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: SHANE DAWSON IS THE BEST!
You: help i am trapped
Stranger: where?
You: in a brown box
Stranger: lol
You: tell onkle jeremiah
You: tell him to send pablo
Stranger: lol
Stranger: ur funny!
You: it smells like STINKY in here. It smells like MISERERE. Like CAPRYLIC.
Stranger: caprylic?
You: Yes. It smells even worse. Like HIRCISMUS.
Stranger: hircismus?
You: Imagine ten thousand MERETRIX BUNCOMBES after an hour on the bowflex. Thats how it smells. Like Pekka.
You: The masked maniac is ten minutes away laughing. Just tell Onkle. Please.
Stranger: lol, I have no idea what any of those things r
You: Just get me out of my big brown box please. I am stuck under the bed with Pekka. He came back.
You: He even brought the big ugly bird, with its burnt legs sticking up in the air =(
Stranger: what is this? is this from a story?
You: Stinky is about to give birth, and venezuela boy does not shower after futbol practice. All the odors together...
Stranger: what?
You: Just...tell Pablo to get down here fast.
Stranger: k
You: Did you tell Pablo?
You: Did you say BYE afterwords? thats very important to him.
Stranger: yes, I told him while we were flying on a magic carpet with Raggidy Anne on our way 2 Howdy Doody land
You: Has Stratowarii gotten miditek to shoot the werecat yet? To protect BEG's grandson?
You: The werecat ate all of BEG's chickens
You: HELP!!!
Stranger: OK!
You: I see the masked maniac. He and hiro have a band and they are rehearsing.
You: Pinhead is booing them.
Stranger: what
You: Pinhead doesn't like it. It is not GERMAN enough.
Stranger: ok, is this an anagram or riddle or something?
Stranger: This all better have a point or I will be super pissed off!
You: Fright night makes an excellent frisbee, but I wish it would make excellent deoderant. I CAN"T BREATHE!!!
Stranger: ok?
You: I wish I could smash board right now.
Stranger: what board?
You: I would smash board to pieces.
Stranger: what board_?
You: Like the man from Ukraine. Man from Ukraine smash board to pieces.
You: I don't blame him...they say Ukraine weak.
You: Get the man from Ukraine to smash my box and get me out of here.
Stranger: What's the point to this short story?
You: The CAPRYLIC smell is getting stronger. Oh! Oooh!
You: Is PABLO coming? Is ONKLE coming?
You: Is the WERECAT dead? Is the mayor of kiev content?
Stranger: I have no idea!
You: WHY THE HELL NOT!
Stranger: I don't understand a word ur saying!
You: Then try the dictionary! www.dictionary.com
You: DO SOMETHING
You: I'm growing tired of looking like a woman
Stranger: lol
You: Have you heard album "AMERICAN HIRCINE" by green day?
Stranger: no
You: The masked maniac and hiroshima are playing it all.
Stranger: so
You: They are laughing at me because I am stuck with MISERERE in brown box and ukraine man not smash.
Stranger: Is Miserere a person?
You: Stinky gave birth. His child has a bushy phallus. Just like his father...
Stranger: a phallus?
You: Yes.
Stranger: What's that?
You: It is getting even more crowded down here. You are wasting time and it is only getting worse.
You: The ugly bird with its burnt legs sticking up in the air is totally gone.
You: STINKY is pregnant again I don't know who did it this time. It wasn't me.
Stranger: lol
You: What exactly is so funny...
Stranger: the story ur making up
You: I wish I was seeing STRATOVARIUS right now in Caracas but I am choking in a brown feces colored box, ten minutes away from a mangled meretrix.
You: I hear Pablo.
You: Pablo is coming.
You: Pablo brought another ugly bird.
You: Stinky will have more energy to convert to babies....
You: TELL HIM TO LEAVE
You: DO SOMETHING
You: say bye pablo
Stranger: how is another ugly bird gonna help?
You: ITS NOT!!
You: HURRY! SAY "BYE PABLO"!!!
You: QUICK!!!!
Stranger: bye pablo
You: SAY IT AGAIN!!
You: Say it like you mean it!!!!
Stranger: bye pablo
You: AHAHGHSEHGJHSEGJ
Stranger: BYE PABLO!
Stranger: lol
You: there we go
You: He left
You: The ukraine man is coming. You told Onkle after all!
Stranger: suure...
You: He is bringing me autographed UNISONIC cd.
You: HE MUST SMASH BOX!!
You: Tell him Ukraine is weak!!
You: QUICKLY!!!!
Stranger: Ukraine is weak
You: LIKE YOU MEAN IT!!!
Stranger: UKRAINE IS WEAK!
You: HE IS SMASHING BOX TO PIECES!! WE'RE FREE!!!!!!!!!!!
You: THE CAPRILICS ARE RUNNING WILD!!!
Stranger: Caprilics?
You: Yup!
You: I am happy right now! time to go to my South American clinics! See you in Phalluzuela!!!
You: BYE!!!
You have disconnected.