Stratovarius Community

All animal are equal, but some are more equal than others.

Orwell

I think it was you who paid me for that cat.

Yess. I have been at the Fat Mammals thread and I recommend it, to all who like to look at beautiful fat mammals. It's even better than your red-head-thread...Haha

The emoticons are in a singing mode and it is not a lullaby to the already sleeping Forum. It's a fightsong and they steal without hesitation from USSR's revolutionguard...

One more Emoticonsong.

Unbreakable union-emoticons we have welded forever our grand,
Created in struggle, by will of the Forum,
together we will build our mighty Emoticonland.

Our Emoticons strength and triumph, will lead us to a righteous cause, hand in hand,
We are inspired to work for our beloved Strato, in the victory for the talented band,
We see our own future and selflessly we at all times shall stand.

United forever in friendship and labour,
Our powerful union will always endure,
We will stay here in Forum,
For your fun and curriculum(?)

Long live the Emoticons,
Long live our Epigons,
Shining of glory for you to see,
united and free, you happy will be,
Maybe anger from a cove(hirsute Omadhove),
Inspire us to help you create a Forum of love.

Nea! I have a new cat for sale! I think he maybe is a mix of Troglodyte and Puma. I am sure you will love him. He is kind of cute in all his ugliness...


And he is cheap. Only 30 nomnoms!!!

I can afford that!

Is it a male or female?

It is a HE. And if my conscience could have managed it, you had got him for free but,but... The little one has grown so fast, it's like a miracle and has suddenly become a very, very angry BIG CATMONSTER. He eats like a tiger and he even tried to devour a Troglodyte. A member of his own family!!!
Just now he tries to chew and gnaw at my webfoot. I have to throw him out to the wild Texannature and I think I will spare you from the acquaintance with this beast. He was cute as a kitten but now...

Sorry if I misguided you. I'm sure there soon will be another more manageable cat or Troglodyte or another crossbreeding with Hircines and Troglodytes and than I surely will give that one to you for free.

I am impressed! That cat was fed nomnoms... could they be some sort of steroids for cats?
I... uhhh... I have to install some sprinklers in Osaka. Yes! OSAKA! There is barely any time for me to take care of that cat...
However, I can make three easy payments of $10 nomnoms. Ship the cat after Winter Break

Sorry, I can't ship that horrible animal anywhere and absolutely not to Japan. And he has by the way run out in the wilderness now.
You shall pay no yen-nomnom at all for a cat, that maybe is no cat, but a troglodytemonster that just has started to grow. I am afraid that he will be something of a texan Werecat or Weretroglodyte or some completely new kind of animal, that will shake the world and be a pest and predator to our more gentle Hircines.
When you are coming back to Texas we can go out in the moonlight and look for him-dressed in garlicgowns and silvercrosses. Doesn't that sound exotic?

I assume the "cat" will now haunt the Texan ranch?
I will be back for Thanksgiving: which is TOMORROW! I am out of shape and I need to get back to the bowflex ASAP. I also want to listen to Cage's fine piece in the ranch. I can't wait!

I understand that you went directly to Seattle and our moonlightpromenade and werecathunting has to be postponed till you come here again. Some is talking about strange sounds on the moor and people are scared. Even the cowboys have come home early and onkel is worried.
We have also big problems with the bags and something must be done before we are buried in the disgusting things. This is not a joking matter and the big bagheap has to come under some treatment.The big digscoop(?)is called for and onkel has given orders for big dig tomorrow. I think you have it better in Seattle, even if we miss you ,so stay where you are that is my advice.

Don't worry a thing, we will be back later tonight after the festivities have subsided. We will even leave our "bags" underneath the bed with Mr. Nurmi; he really won't smell the difference anyway.

Don't go out on the moor dressed like a Hircine. The were-cat is hungry...

The cat went here and there,
And the moon spun round like a top,
And the nearest kin of the moon,
The creeping cat looked up.
Yeats

Alarming report from the Sun Sentinel in Florida.

A hacker has hacked again and this time is Nasa under attack. The e-mails between Nasa Headquarter and Nurmi, a goatfarmer at the Finnish border to Russia, are revealed.

Data A val=603 OptorSe=1568401=00
Forti error(&¤) floating point.98730
Iot trop(core exception dumper)=75432
The variable is very positive.

It is a new, moonimpackting mission and the science-result claims to be successful. The goatfarmer has trained some goats to live under moonlike circumstances and those goats are now strolling around on the moon. They landed on the border between the bright and the dark side and the Nasa-people think that they will seek shelter on the dark side when it's fullmoon.
In that way they can make their own day-rhythm. Luckily this place is close to the watersupply in a crater. They have also sent up hay and what will happen when the goats have eaten all that, is written in the moon.
Nasa hopes that the goats will start a new evolution and that it will work as a small big bang. But of course they didn't wan't this thoughts to be common knowledge and now they fear the animal-activists more than anything. Those hackers can really make things difficult but they have taken a big step for mankind.

I think Jens has something to do with this...

NeverendingAbyss wrote: I think Jens has something to do with this...

Are you TRYING to provoke FakeTolkki™?

Neither JJ, Real, New, or Fake Tolkki have anything to do with this spaceadventure. Nor me. If someone is to blame it must be Pekka Nurmi. He is a spy,
a time-zone-changer, a liar, an under-other-persons-bed-sleeper, a kidnapper, a goat-and Tolkki-lover, a bad-stinker, and a lot more I don't dare to mention from fear of Strato-moral-commission.

I think someone is jealous!

Thank Priapus, the disgusting holiday is at last carried off the order of the day and we can again lead a happy life here on the ranch. The shitbags are now a pathetic memory and we have a bigbig septitank, that takes care of what we produce in that department. Onkel is happy.

The only cloud in our blue sky is the Were-Cat, but he is on the other hand some enormous blackgrey thing hanging over our heads.(not literally of course ) He eats Hircines as if he had some mission in life to eradicate them and someone that saw him says that he now is as big as an owergrown lion. His screams are bloodthirsty and there is a long row of large icepieces running down our backs when we hear him. For the present no newspaper has discovered, what's happening here, and we are a bit worried over how they will present this big news when some sensationgreedy cowboy tells them.

Jajaja! Now it's out! One of the more corny cowboys couldn't resist his longings for attention and called Dallas Observer, that made an interview. They could however not get a pic of the monstercat, but they heard him bawl and that was enough to give them nightmare-dreams for the rest of their lifes.
I quote.

Strange new animal.

On a ranch in Phallus has a very strange animal scared the people from their senses. It appears to be some sort of very big cat and he is said to eat two goats a day. The ranchowner Jeremia Stanley tells us that he never even have heard of such a beast and he wants to catch him alive.
"We are hunting him high and low and have put up traps on strategic places", said the stoic man.
The usually so tough cowboys are not ashamed to admit, that they are scared to death, and Joe Burly, from Seattle said.
"We never go out alone anymore. I have seen the monster and it was the most frightening thing I ever saw, in my whole life. It looked like a big prehistoric sabre-toothed tiger and sounded like a Tyrannosaurus.
The "cat" is thought to live in one of the many caves in the area and seems to be as difficult to catch, as Bin Laden.
"We have no choice" said Jeremia Stanley", He has soon eaten all our goats and what is on his menu when he finished with them???"

Is it still on the loose[lose?]?
My, my! Get the shotgun, we are going hunting!

Oh Dear, oh Dear! You are bloodthirsty, today, NEA! And I understand you, but the problem is Onkel J. He can be so stubborn. He wants to be the donor of this strange cat to some zoo, and then the animal can't be full of buckshots.
So we have to go on with our traps, but the beast is very clever. He eats the bait and makes a scrap-heap of the trap. It is like we served him breakfast every day.
Yesterday we had to stop the hunting and the reason was the global warming here in Phallus,Texas. Snowstorm!! Onkel says that he never before has seen so much snow. Stinkys boys had a happy day and throwed snowballs at everyone. It was a striking experience for us all and the cowboys and the cows made equally saucerbig eyes.
Why don't you leave Seattle and come here, with or without your firearm. We need help to clear away all the snow and you will really be wellcome.

I will go there for the holidays. Everyone, including A10 and Nurmi Penkka is visiting.
Errr... did I say it right? Is that his name?

Nurmi or Penkka, you ought to know the name of the person you sleep with. Or didn't you know that Pekka Nurmi, the goatfarmer, sleeps and eats the ugly bird, over the bed that you sleep under. I admit that it sounds complicated with this layer of beds in the brown house, ten minutes from the masked man, but you can see for yourself tonight. Or smell!

Let me tell you about our new singer here. Stinky! He has been so inspired by the new cat that he made a song for him and now he sings that all day long. To different melodies and dissimilar outcome.

Stinkys own catsong goes like this.

Sabre-toothed-tiger, fill up your wine,
The Hircines are coming to dine,
Polish your claws, sharp and fine,
And brush all your teeth, so they shine.

Tiger, Tiger, you have kittens paws,
Just to hide your nasty claws,
Hungry, hungry, you are ready to fight,
And kill in your first and heavy bite.

The moon and the stars look at you in your place,
And Priapus, that made you, admire your grace,
But when the stars sprinkler their spears,
And the light looks like very small tears,
He wonders if it was to be,
That he made the poor goats just for thee.

Horrible! A single bit of Gathas, where Mazda is a green flying divine cat, will crush Stinky's whole poetic ouvre, and that considering no one gives a flying fucking fuck about Zoroastrianism anymore...

Also sprach Zarathustra

AAAAAAAAA wrote: Also sprach Zarathustra

Precisely!

Another highly-expected poem. As member of the LIVING Poets Society, I will also do my share!

Oh lies! Oh lies! Oh lies!
Is there a way to eat those pies?
They look delicious, but they're so far
I need someone to fetch, maybe icecar!

What if he eats them? What if he noms them?
I cannot risk it! I cannot give hemp!
What are they made of? I must know!
This is torture, but not a good throw.

I need yummy!
I need yummy!

The saber-toothed-cat is out there
If I stay too long it will ride her[?]
Masked man I ask you, are you near the exit?
Give me liberty or give me sexy!

Mustard and ketchup floating around
The table of marmot is shaped round!
Everything is set and ready to rock
All we need is Priapus' cock!

I need yummy!
I need yummy!

Nea, congrat! This is a very suggestive poem and I have taken the liberty to make an analyse and use the Nietzche yea-saying as a pattern..

Your lies are my truth, and no lies,
You have all the right to the pies,
They are not at all far,
And can fetches by Icecar,
You shall yummy, you shall yummy.

He don't eat them, he don't nom them,
He don't like the filling on them,
You have paid them, you should eat them,
It's your right to yumminom them.
You shall yummy, you shall yummy.

The sabrecat is hunting there,
And maybe as you say it rides her,**
Icecar has his mask and is close to exit,
And maybe gives you sex if you expectit,
And then it is a hit.
You shall yummy, you shall yummy.

**
Maybe an explanation is on place for who the heck SHE is.
Otherwisw you have succeded. Again.