Stratovarius Community

Hi Folks!

I have read the e-mailexchange in the controversial Hacker-Express, News on Net, where one of the experts in Nasa Headquarters wrote to some bloke in Washington. (No names and no closure of Strato-pages).
The Nasaguy told the congressman that they intended to terminate the goatexperiment.
I quote,
"The goats didn't like to be on the moon and the atmosphere didn't suit them. Goats are social animals and the lack of air made it impossible for them to määäa and bäääa to each other. No air, no sound-waves, and the määäs disappeared out in the space without being heard. And the goats became very stressed.
They started to jump higher and higher and without the force of gravitation, suddenly all of them, exept two, were over the border to darkness. They were never seen again, maybe they fell of the surface for good. The two that were left went into the tunnel of moonlight and were maybe met by the others."
He concluded.
"We must realize that this experiment was not very successfull and absolute secrecy must be prevailed. We blame the finnish goatfarmer. He hadn't prepared the goats enough, for the airless atmosphere."
The answer was short.
"We will immediately expel a Finnish attache and of course give some plausible reason."

You must be a journalist for the Seattle Daily or Texas Weekly!

This is a warning to Nea! Don't come here now.

Yesterday was dramatic in excess! One of Stinkys twins, little Skunk, disappered in the morning and his brother told us, that he had gone to the caves, where the cat was. He was of course not allowed to, but as all Stinkys brats, he is extremely disobedient.
Some fetched their guns and we ran to the caves. We could hear the cat bawl and also how Skunk cried. He had crawled into a cave, that was so small that the beast couldn't reach him. But he waited in patience, with lashing tail.
-"Shoot in the air", screamed Onkel. Five rifles went off. The beast turned his head and glared at us. He was a frightening sight. Big, big, with long fur and fiercing eyes. He sort of purred and it was scary.
-"Shoot! Closer this time!" Onkel again. One bullet touched the cats hindleg. Now he stood up, and was he
horrible? And angry! With four long jumps he was over us and he grabbed one of our dogs with one single bite. Snapp! This was his early lunch...
Stinky got his boy and we ran as fast as we could. And gosh was it fast.
When we were safe, we all tried to tell Onkel, that the days of zoo-thinking now must be over. But he said no. The cat shall be caught alive And I'm not sure he will give up the idea, even if some of the cowboys ends as catfood.


For Google: Think before you doubt something you read here. It may be true...

Thank you for the warning.
I was already packing my bags to leave. I even bought a perfume for you called "Hircineless". I can ship it if it's too dangerous for me to go... or for anyone to go.
Hope to see you soon...

So nice of you! Thank you! We can really use all the Hircinelessparfumes we can lay our hands on now. The cat is really hunting everything that has been in contact with Hircines. He has even gone after the cowboys that feed them and he scared them from their senses. We lead a very strange life here and all can be blamed on Onkels ambitions. As if he himself had created this monster.

Jajaja! Now I have talked with mr Google and he was a very nice man, with heavy Chinese intonation. I asked him rather angrily, why they had to put up a pic of that tedious terrormachine, Bowflex, on the post under my name. He agreed at once that it was a boring and senseless apparatus and promised to remove it a. s. a. p.
Then I asked him why they at all had our humble Forum up, so the whole Universe could see it. He answered that among other interesting things, our covering of the Nasa-goat-scandal had aroused some attention and that it was important that all waste of the taxpayers money came up in the light.
I went on and asked him if there was some meaning with the whole thing and about the meaning of life and he agreed even there. He told me in confidence that he pondered a lot over just that and often came to the conclusion, it wasn't.
At last he promised, that if I made a list over Hircismuses he would be obliged to dismiss them from his searchsight. The publicitysuckers may tremble.
In all. Mr Google was a very obliging man and it was a pleasure talking to him. We can be sure that he handles our material in a safe and so caprylicfree way as possible.

There was a guy so fat,

That took a ride on our cat,

They came back from the ride,

The guy was inside,

And a smile on the face of the cat.



Info@Stratovarius.Fi.Copyright 2009 by A9 Steel Publishers.inc,Helsinki.Living Poets Society All rights reserved.

We often are silent and seem very lost,

But suddenly we can explode in hundreds of post,

We have our Strato in common,

And meet in space, for our nomnom,

Obliged stand together, what patience it cost.



Info @ Stratovarius, Fi.
Copyright 2009 by A9 Steel Publishers inc. Helsinki. Living poets Society
All rights reserved.

Quote Dallas Observer.

Drama in Phallas.

Last week could this paper report of a strange, big sabre-toothed cat in Phallas and yesterday we had reason to return to the ranch and Jeremia Stanley.
The cat was dead.
J.Stanley tried to save the monstercat for some zoo, but he was impossible to catch alive. Joe Burley, from Seattle, told us that they built larger and larger traps for the ever growing animal.
-"He seemed to be very clever and it was spooky, said Burly, with a shiver. He ate our baits and destroyed the traps as soon as we put up them. He was always the winner and he came closer and closer to our houses.
So, one day, when we were out on the fields on our horses we suddenly saw the cat. He had grown even bigger from his hircinediet and he was really frightening. In the same moment he spotted us he startad his attack against us.
We shoot in the air but he didn't care at all and how fast he ran. Puh! He came closer and closer in looong jumps. We understood that our days were counted and found up new prayers to Priapus.
-"Shoot", scremed Onkel and eight riffles went off. We all hit our goal and the cat fell in the middle of a high jump. The earth shaked and a big cloud of dust obscured the sky.
The days of terror were at last over."
"The cat must have been a genetic mistake", said J.Stanley. "A crossing between a troglodyte and a puma. Maybe he was a product of the global warming and unfortunately we may risk to see more of that kind in the future", he sighs. "The dinosaurus are sailing again."

Oh my! This must be a horrific event for the three of you. Sorry I couldn't join you, but Seattle has had intense winter storms lately. I will pray to Priapus for your safety. I hope global warming could end after Copenhagen conference. I wish you a merry christmas until then!

Yes, it was a bit trying, to have that damn cat sneaking around all the time. I had hoped he was at least a Werecat, that had been a little more thrilling. But this goateating monster was no fun at all. He was just evil and hungry.
The Copenhagen conference was merely a blahahahaha, but who had expected something else? Everyone wants money before they do anything and as usual it's US that have to pay. I am sorry for your taxpayers, that's for sure. So hurry up with the sprinkling so you can pay more tax...

In Forum we know one another,
We are writing our posts and we bother,
And our friends get some hint,
That in Google they print,
Everything we may write to eachother.





Info@Stratovarius,FI.
Copyright 2009 by A9 Steel Publishers,
Inc. Helsinki Living Poets Society.
All rights Reserved.

Poop Time
By AAAAAAAAAA

I just ate a bunch of fruit,
An apple, banana, orange and pear,
I must go to the restroom to toot,
So beware, i'm in there, grunting in my despair,

I emerge from the restroom with a smile on my face,
I embrace freed up space, now its time to replace,
I go to the kitchen and find a snack,
Troglodyte steak, hircine chops, hunger attack!!!


Info@Stratovarius,FI.
Copyright 2009 by A9 Steel Publishers,
Inc. Helsinki Living Poets Society.
All rights Reserved.

I am the undisputed reverse champion of this poll.
I share the honour with icecab for now.

EDIT: I just voted for icecab, so the crown is all mine now!
You lose icecab!

Stealth wrote: EDIT: I just voted for icecab, so the crown is all mine now!
You lose icecab!

I don't know, I think I'm the true winner here...I wasn't even nominated

AAAAAAAAAA wrote:

Stealth wrote: EDIT: I just voted for icecab, so the crown is all mine now!
You lose icecab!

I don't know, I think I'm the true winner here...I wasn't even nominated

Neither was I! Should I feel happy?

AGAG wrote:

AAAAAAAAAA wrote:

Stealth wrote: EDIT: I just voted for icecab, so the crown is all mine now!
You lose icecab!

I don't know, I think I'm the true winner here...I wasn't even nominated

Neither was I! Should I feel happy?

Well, nice guys finish last I suppose!

AAAAAAAAAA wrote:Well, nice guys finish last I suppose!

If that's true, then I'm the nicest guy. You guys don't count because in order to finish last, you have to be nominated. You cannot possibly finish last if you are not included in whatever sample is being used to determine your social position. As far as this poll is concerned, you are in limbo.
You can start another poll: "Who is the most nicest poster among those who have not been included in the who is the most nicest poster poll?"

Today, if you are anatomical,

You can make it to be economical,

But if you make it to small,

You gain nothing at all,

With the risk that you look rather comical.




Info@Stratovarius,FI,Copyright 2009 by A9,
Steel Publishers Inc Helsinki,Living Poets Society.
All rights reserved.

Stealth wrote:

AAAAAAAAAA wrote:Well, nice guys finish last I suppose!

If that's true, then I'm the nicest guy. You guys don't count because in order to finish last, you have to be nominated. You cannot possibly finish last if you are not included in whatever sample is being used to determine your social position. As far as this poll is concerned, you are in limbo.
You can start another poll: "Who is the most nicest poster among those who have not been included in the who is the most nicest poster poll?"

What you're saying is, in a poll of who is the nicest guy, the real nicest guy will finish last and be nicer than the nice guy who won!?

AAAAAAAAAA wrote:What you're saying is, in a poll of who is the nicest guy, the real nicest guy will finish last and be nicer than the nice guy who won!?

AAAAAAAAAA wrote:Well, nice guys finish last I suppose!

No, you said that. I said IF that's true, then I'm the nicest guy.

Our posts being longer and longer,

The message comes stronger and stronger,

For there is much to be said,

And some life to be lead,

Even by Hircinusmonger

Do we know it is Christmas here in Lappajärvi? Yessss we do, and it's a white one too. A very white one. And we were visited by Santa on Christmas Eve, as the custom is here. He talked an incomprehensible Finnish but we are after all far, far north-almost on North Pole.
But the gifts were OK.
Onkel loves the snow but he can't understand that there is so much of it. And that it is so cold. We tried to get him to test skiing but there he was adament. He is sure the skiis are made in hell. He prefers to sit by the fire and smoke his maizepipe.

We have seen both bear and wolftracks but the latter can even come from a werewolf and I'm not entirely sure what I did last night. But those things will in all probability be detected by some touchy and incredulous individual. Hopefully not before we have left.
All in all a very successful visit in the cold North and the best of it is we will stay here for a whole week.

Report from snow-and-iceland.

Quack, Quack. We have a wonderful time here. The skiing is fantastic and it is very cold outside. But sorry to say also in peoples hearts, so we have a problem.
Rumour talk. Under the night has someone killed an elk and put the carcass in the center of the village for everyone to see. The children believe we have got a murderous Santa and as Onkel lookes a bit like the classical Christmasfigure, they point finger at him. It is enough that he comes from Texas and has a gun, fully visible in his belt.
Rumours talk about the strange citypeople from Helsinki and someone saw a humanelike creature carry an elk. Rumour talk and fingers are pointed. The atmosphere is tense and in a week there is full moon.
I think someone put a spell on me and I seem to be hunted by strange dangerous animals. What is happening? I don't know a thing...

Hi!
A coin has mostly two sides and even if it seems idyllic here in the North, there are problems. I happened to turn the Onkelcoin and that was not a bright sight. He ought to return to Texas, before he drinks himself to death. He has bought big vessels of the local north-brand of homemade cellulosealcohol of a very low quality, that has 92% strenght, but can make him either blind or mad.

He also smoke the native hashish, made mostly of cow-dung, which smells very peculiar.

A9 is of no help at all. She has got a stupid idea, that she is some sort of new warewolf and both I and Nea have tried to tell her that a nice little Quackquackduck very seldom changes to a scary Werewerewolfgirlie, but she will not listen. Someone in that A-family has made her believe that she will transformes to a monster when there is a full moon. It's so incredible obtuse. We can see that she is not herself. But, but Werewolf? There ought to be some limits. :
I have though, in the greatest secrecy, bought some garlic... if worst come to worst.
The problem now is that she will not go back to Texas and Onkel will not go there alone. So I am stuck with those two complicated personalities and I have no idea how to handle the situation.

I may have killed him...

Hi. We are back in Helsinki. Big party tomorrow and we shall shop till we drop in the koskenkorvaprop. The old gang is gathering and they expect it to be exact as last year, when we had one hell of a party.
Onkel is sober and has poured the dangerous terpentine in Lappajärvi lake. "Good for the fish" he said. "They like to swim in "moonshine".(Do fish drink? Sometimes? If they happen to live in something that taste "fishgoodies"?)
Well, well we had some problems this week. With A9. Some wild animals attacked Pekka Nurmi and he almost died. He blamed A9 and the police (among them Jussi Nurmi, a suspicious IDIOT, that reads this forum and is Pekkas cousin.) A9 still thinks she is a Werewolf (that damn A-family) and didn't know what she had done. She had no alibi and Pekka had bites from more than one wolf. But those animals are swarming around his farm and it was of course some of them, that hate him and took their chances. DNA-test pointed out the russian breed and A9 was released.
But the Finnish idiotpolice liked his revenge and tried to keep her as long as possible in jail.
Now everything is sorted out and Jussis boss gave Jussi a bigbig reprimand.
-"Here in Finland we don't believe in Werewolfs", he said , laconically.
Pekka is still in hospital, Jussi gnashs his teeth and we have every reason to celebrate. And on top on that is Nea coming too.

It will surely be a hell of a party. What do you want me to bring? (other than fishliveroil, waffles, and nomnoms)

You are so welcome and I think you can leave the fishliveroil at home. I don't think healthy products are meriting prior attention. But nomnomnoms are as usual accepted with pleasure and cordiality. See you then.

And me??

What about ME!!!!!!