Telling jokes
- Electric Eye
- Sr. Member
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Young geography teacher starts her first lesson, a bit under stress and hesistant:
- Good morning children, today I am going to tell you something about globe.
- Get lost you old fu#$!g bi$#h ! - scream all the kids.
With tears in her eyes she runs out of the class straight to the headmaster's room to complain.
- Well, my dear colleague - trying to calm her down - I'll show you how should we treat with them.
- Hi, you little bastards - says headmasters as they return to the classroom.
- Hi, you old sucker - replies children.
- Today you learn how to put a condom on the globe.
- The globe? - ask astonished kids - What the fu#! is the globe?
- That's what we start with !
- Good morning children, today I am going to tell you something about globe.
- Get lost you old fu#$!g bi$#h ! - scream all the kids.
With tears in her eyes she runs out of the class straight to the headmaster's room to complain.
- Well, my dear colleague - trying to calm her down - I'll show you how should we treat with them.
- Hi, you little bastards - says headmasters as they return to the classroom.
- Hi, you old sucker - replies children.
- Today you learn how to put a condom on the globe.
- The globe? - ask astonished kids - What the fu#! is the globe?
- That's what we start with !
So where does the power come from to see the race to its end?
From within.
From within.
Re: Telling jokes
My alcohol induced clarity will allow me to say, that is probably the most apallingly awful joke i've ever read or heard anywhere.
Keep up the good work!
Keep up the good work!
"Beneath the freezing sky arrives Winter's Verge..."
http://www.wintersverge.com
I'm going to hell, and loving the ride!
http://www.wintersverge.com
I'm going to hell, and loving the ride!
- Electric Eye
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Re: Telling jokes
really? I thought it's funny. A bit of psychology and advice for teachers, with tongue in cheek, of course. No offense was meant.
I start this topic for telling jokes, but it looks like there are no other to share... I know, my topics sucks...
I start this topic for telling jokes, but it looks like there are no other to share... I know, my topics sucks...
So where does the power come from to see the race to its end?
From within.
From within.
- stratoplayer
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Re: Telling jokes
gee cop your eyes are glazed have you been eating doughnuts???
Close your eyes and try to remember, destroyed lullabies of days gone by
Close your eyes on the edge of forever, a chance to dream fast asleep your nightmare ends
Close your eyes on the edge of forever, a chance to dream fast asleep your nightmare ends
- HvyMtlClickWitch
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Re: Telling jokes
I'm sorry. I don't know any jokes.
Oh wait. I know one joke but it sucks.
What did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? "See you next month!"
Holy mother of Dio, that's so horrible.
Oh wait. I know one joke but it sucks.
What did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? "See you next month!"
Holy mother of Dio, that's so horrible.
Let no man surrender so long as he is unwounded and can fight.
- Beast_Pete
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Re: Telling jokes
(1717+15)
@Witch: at first I was wondering, why was this funny? Was it another bad American joke? Then after 6 seconds...
@Witch: at first I was wondering, why was this funny? Was it another bad American joke? Then after 6 seconds...
"Mikor az utolsó véred is elfolyék,
S a tested is a porba hullék,
Akkor is van még remény,
Mert a lelked továbbra is él."
- Mark Swanson -
from the book, Nick's legend
S a tested is a porba hullék,
Akkor is van még remény,
Mert a lelked továbbra is él."
- Mark Swanson -
from the book, Nick's legend
Re: Telling jokes
lol. Me too!
Shite joke alert: Did you hear about the magic tractor?
It turned into a field.
Shite joke alert: Did you hear about the magic tractor?
It turned into a field.
What do you call a German virgin?
Guttenteit.
Guttenteit.
- htcdude
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Re: Telling jokes
OK if this is the lame joke area.....
Why didn't the skeleton jump off the cliff?
Cos he had no guts!
Why didn't the skeleton jump off the cliff?
Cos he had no guts!
"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me."
- StratoHeart
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Re: Telling jokes
Wow, there is just shit here!!!!
Well, here comes another:
What did the skeleton say to the barman?
"Please, give me a BEER and a BUCKET"
Well, here comes another:
What did the skeleton say to the barman?
"Please, give me a BEER and a BUCKET"
- StratoHeart
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Re: Telling jokes
Why does the dumb woman masturbate with only one hand?
Because with the other one she moans!!!!
Because with the other one she moans!!!!
-
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Re: Telling jokes
Why did the little girl fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Because she had no arms.
I haven't killed him yet sir,
But when I do, I shall have the stomach and the liver too,
And the floppily doppilies in their horrid glue.
But when I do, I shall have the stomach and the liver too,
And the floppily doppilies in their horrid glue.
- HvyMtlClickWitch
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Re: Telling jokes
Anyone know any dead baby jokes? I used to have a slew of them, but i seem to have forgotten them all...I love dead baby jokes.
Let no man surrender so long as he is unwounded and can fight.
Re: Telling jokes
What is a red dot on a cradle?
A baby chewing a knife.
A baby chewing a knife.
"Insanity: A Perfect Rational Adjustment To An Insane World"
- Mormegil
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Re: Telling jokes
That was bad.HvyMtlClickWitch wrote:What did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? "See you next month!"
I think this is one hell of a big joke:
http://www.landoverbaptist.org/
Re: Telling jokes
and what is a green dot on a cradle?Equinox wrote:What is a red dot on a cradle?
A baby chewing a knife.
The same baby week later.
Re: Telling jokes
Why did the man fall off his bicycle?
Because someone threw a fridge at him.
@Witch: That is sick and funny
Because someone threw a fridge at him.
@Witch: That is sick and funny
"Beneath the freezing sky arrives Winter's Verge..."
http://www.wintersverge.com
I'm going to hell, and loving the ride!
http://www.wintersverge.com
I'm going to hell, and loving the ride!
- HvyMtlClickWitch
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- Joined:Sat Apr 10, 2004 2:55 am
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Re: Telling jokes
WTF?NeonVomit wrote:Why did the man fall off his bicycle?
Because someone threw a fridge at him.
Some moron in one of my classes today turned around randomly and told me a joke. As if i've ever spoken to him. Point being, it SUCKED. So here it is:
What do you call four Spanish women who can't swim?
Quatro sinko.
Oh, the PAIN!!
Let no man surrender so long as he is unwounded and can fight.
- StratoLink
- Member
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- Joined:Mon Feb 21, 2005 12:01 am
- Location:Republica Dominicana
Re: Telling jokes
-Mommy, mommy i don't like my grandapa...
-Shut up and keep eating.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
-Mommy i will play with my grandma.
-Ok, but put her on her cofee when you are done with her.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
-Daddy, Daddy, i want a bicycle for my birthday.
-*Sigh, why don't you ask for a pair of legs first, STUPID!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
*A kid is riding his bicycle at the front of his house.
-Look mom, i am riding without hands!....
Look mom, i am riding without legs!...
Look mom, i am riding without Teeths!...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
*The phone rings...
*A woman gets the phone...
-Hi....
-Hi, we are calling from the hospital, sadly, your husband had an accident, please come ASAP to the hospital.
*The woman goes to the hospital...
-OH god, hi doctor what happened to my husband oh god *cries, please tell me that he doesn't have problems from his belly to his legs...
-No no, mrs, don't worry your husband doesnt have problems there.
-Oh thanks good!, but how do you know that doctor?
-Cuz we don't have that part from his body here in the hospital yet, only his head.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sorry for the bad jokes and for the bad english
-Shut up and keep eating.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
-Mommy i will play with my grandma.
-Ok, but put her on her cofee when you are done with her.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
-Daddy, Daddy, i want a bicycle for my birthday.
-*Sigh, why don't you ask for a pair of legs first, STUPID!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
*A kid is riding his bicycle at the front of his house.
-Look mom, i am riding without hands!....
Look mom, i am riding without legs!...
Look mom, i am riding without Teeths!...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
*The phone rings...
*A woman gets the phone...
-Hi....
-Hi, we are calling from the hospital, sadly, your husband had an accident, please come ASAP to the hospital.
*The woman goes to the hospital...
-OH god, hi doctor what happened to my husband oh god *cries, please tell me that he doesn't have problems from his belly to his legs...
-No no, mrs, don't worry your husband doesnt have problems there.
-Oh thanks good!, but how do you know that doctor?
-Cuz we don't have that part from his body here in the hospital yet, only his head.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sorry for the bad jokes and for the bad english
Stratovarius, The best power-melodic-symphonic metal band ever.
The legend of Zelda, The Best Game Ever.
Devil May Cry 3 Best Action Game Ever.
"I love this!, this is for what i live for!, I am absolutely crazy about it!!!"- Dante.
The legend of Zelda, The Best Game Ever.
Devil May Cry 3 Best Action Game Ever.
"I love this!, this is for what i live for!, I am absolutely crazy about it!!!"- Dante.
Re: Telling jokes
What's worse than 20 babies in a bin?
One baby in twenty bins.
Ithankyouverymuch!
But wait! There's more!
What sits at the end of the bed and takes the piss?
- Kidney dialysis machine.
What's the only part of a vegetable you can't eat?
- The wheelchair.
What's blue and fucks grannies?
- Hypothermia.
One baby in twenty bins.
Ithankyouverymuch!
But wait! There's more!
What sits at the end of the bed and takes the piss?
- Kidney dialysis machine.
What's the only part of a vegetable you can't eat?
- The wheelchair.
What's blue and fucks grannies?
- Hypothermia.
What do you call a German virgin?
Guttenteit.
Guttenteit.
Re: Telling jokes
Oh yeah also... *points to sig*
And while we're on that topic:
What do you call a Japanese car thief?
- Tomitukamota
What do you call two Spannish firemen?
- Hose and Hose B
What do you call a Russian naked barbed wire hurdler?
- Itora Bollokov
Oh there's more. Believe me.
And while we're on that topic:
What do you call a Japanese car thief?
- Tomitukamota
What do you call two Spannish firemen?
- Hose and Hose B
What do you call a Russian naked barbed wire hurdler?
- Itora Bollokov
Oh there's more. Believe me.
What do you call a German virgin?
Guttenteit.
Guttenteit.
- Mormegil
- Sr. Member
- Posts:4327
- Joined:Fri Apr 25, 2003 2:31 pm
- Location:United States of Europe, FI, Pori
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Re: Telling jokes
A criminal commanded his gang to plunder Judas Priest singer:
"Rob Halford!"
"Rob Halford!"
Re: Telling jokes
What do you call an Indian Karaoke champion?
- Gerrupta Singh
*Question - How sick are we going for in this topic?
- Gerrupta Singh
*Question - How sick are we going for in this topic?
What do you call a German virgin?
Guttenteit.
Guttenteit.
- Sknight2112
- Member
- Posts:212
- Joined:Sun Oct 24, 2004 5:31 am
- Location:San Jose, California
- Contact:
Re: Telling jokes
whats the difference between a cadillac and a plie of dead babies?HvyMtlClickWitch wrote:Anyone know any dead baby jokes? I used to have a slew of them, but i seem to have forgotten them all...I love dead baby jokes.
...
I dont have a cadillac in my garage......
I had a friend I knew at my old school who had a list of about 100 of them, thats the only i remeber though...
United metallians ready to strike!!!!
- iron_thunder
- Sr. Member
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- Location:Toronto, Canada!
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Re: Telling jokes
HvyMtlClickWitch wrote:
What did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? "See you next month!"
*pukes*
sigh, i love joke topics. rock on, kids. i'll try to think of some when i'm less lazy and tired!
EDIT: I know tons of dead baby jokes, but... I'm too PC to say any of them ... Before the site got shut down, some people at my highschool frequented deadbabyjokes.com ... including some of the teachers... (it was that kind of school).
That cadillac one was a favorite.
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SIGN UP FOR THE SACRED EMBRACE NEWSLETTER, DAMNIT!!
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