god masturbates

doc_holliday · Post by **doc_holliday** » Wed May 25, 2005 6:18 pm

God made us in his image. That means He has sex for pleaure. But no one is great enough for Him. thus, He masturbates.

\m/ KILLER \m/ · Post by **\m/ KILLER \m/** » Wed May 25, 2005 6:35 pm

doc_holliday wrote:God made us in his image. That means He has sex for pleaure. But no one is great enough for Him. thus, He masturbates.

You forget about Jesus and holy spirit !!

OK Jesus is Gods son. Thats agains law of inces. But God can break any law because he is the master of anything. Even laws of fysics.

If he has to choose between fucking Jesus and spirit, i think he take his own son. So God fucks Jesus. And because Jesus was man, he fucks Jesus in the ass (unless God is woman, then Jesus can fuck God in the vagina or ass or mouth)

Paola · Post by **Paola** » Wed May 25, 2005 6:59 pm

emm...emmm...I don't wanna say you my opinion in this moment, other day ¿ok?

NeonVomit · Post by **NeonVomit** » Wed May 25, 2005 7:53 pm

Its actually pretty funny that masturbation isnt even mentioned ANYWHERE in the Bible. And then Catholics say it's a sin

I like that one. Something that isnt even mentioned... a sin...

Nice one.

MaFiaBoY · Post by **MaFiaBoY** » Wed May 25, 2005 7:55 pm

That's how Catholics (and other religions of course) work. If it's not said i's allowed, then take it the sure way and say it's forbidden

iron_thunder · Post by **iron_thunder** » Wed May 25, 2005 8:52 pm

it's just silly. i wouldn't believe anybody who told me they didn't masturbate, at least sometimes (even god).

and as for the god sleeping with jesus thing *mumbles something incoherant*

Painless_Cry · Post by **Painless_Cry** » Thu May 26, 2005 2:03 am

sex before marrige is sin too.. so what are you supposed to do?

acutally not all people (like me) can stay without doing anything...

so well, they masturbate

htcdude · Post by **htcdude** » Thu May 26, 2005 9:12 am

NeonVomit wrote:Its actually pretty funny that masturbation isnt even mentioned ANYWHERE in the Bible. And then Catholics say it's a sin

I like that one. Something that isnt even mentioned... a sin...

Nice one.

It's cos the main incentive of people doing it is lust for the other sex right? Or the same sex whatever, which is adultery therefore a sin.

Beast_Pete · Post by **Beast_Pete** » Thu May 26, 2005 3:01 pm

(1942+15)

htcdude wrote:
NeonVomit wrote:Its actually pretty funny that masturbation isnt even mentioned ANYWHERE in the Bible. And then Catholics say it's a sin

I like that one. Something that isnt even mentioned... a sin...

Nice one.
It's cos the main incentive of people doing it is lust for the other sex right? Or the same sex whatever, which is adultery therefore a sin.

Yes, I just wanted to write, that it's called simply forniocation.

But I don't care too much about it. Fornicating is good.

NeonVomit · Post by **NeonVomit** » Thu May 26, 2005 4:19 pm

htcdude wrote:
NeonVomit wrote:Its actually pretty funny that masturbation isnt even mentioned ANYWHERE in the Bible. And then Catholics say it's a sin

I like that one. Something that isnt even mentioned... a sin...

Nice one.
It's cos the main incentive of people doing it is lust for the other sex right? Or the same sex whatever, which is adultery therefore a sin.

So I commit adultery on a regular basis... oh well. I'm going to Hell then

Isn't adultery when you're MARRIED? Last time I checked, I wasn't married...

MetalAngel · Post by **MetalAngel** » Thu May 26, 2005 5:52 pm

Our Lord, forgive us, poor sinners...

htcdude · Post by **htcdude** » Fri May 27, 2005 9:08 am

NeonVomit wrote:oh well. I'm going to Hell then

And that doesn't bother you???

Stealth · Post by **Stealth** » Fri May 27, 2005 9:29 am

Well, I'm atheist, so I guess I'm out of the discussion

NeonVomit · Post by **NeonVomit** » Fri May 27, 2005 1:23 pm

htcdude wrote:
NeonVomit wrote:oh well. I'm going to Hell then
And that doesn't bother you???

Well no, because i said that ironically. I don't believe im going to go to hell for masturbating, no. Its a perfectly normal thing for anyone to do. I really doubt that God is that harsh for doing what is natural. I think He loves us too much for that.

htcdude · Post by **htcdude** » Fri May 27, 2005 1:38 pm

Well in my opinion, it's wrong, because it's against what God says, even though he doesn't say in the exact words 'you shall not masterbate'. And if we don't acknowledge that it's wrong then i'd say you'll be going to hell, unless you have acknowledged you're wrong...if ya see what i mean.

NeonVomit · Post by **NeonVomit** » Fri May 27, 2005 1:51 pm

htcdude wrote:Well in my opinion, it's wrong, because it's against what God says, even though he doesn't say in the exact words 'you shall not masterbate'. And if we don't acknowledge that it's wrong then i'd say you'll be going to hell, unless you have acknowledged you're wrong...if ya see what i mean.

I came to the conclusion that he doesnt say it anywhere, directly or indirectly. Its perfectly normal human behaviour and an important part of anyones sexuality. And I dont believe sexuality is a sin either. Sexuality is a vital part of anyone's life (it's how we perpetuate our species, if you will, God did said 'Go forth and multiply' in Genesis) and it's one of the best parts of being a living, sentinent being, and one of the best gifts God has given us. The way I see it, refusing to enjoy sex or any related things is like refusing to enjoy a blue sky, or the sea, or a solar eclipse. Its part of life. Part of the eternal gift God has given us.

htcdude · Post by **htcdude** » Fri May 27, 2005 2:22 pm

NeonVomit wrote:I came to the conclusion that he doesnt say it anywhere, directly or indirectly. Its perfectly normal human behaviour and an important part of anyones sexuality. And I dont believe sexuality is a sin either. Sexuality is a vital part of anyone's life (it's how we perpetuate our species, if you will, God did said 'Go forth and multiply' in Genesis) and it's one of the best parts of being a living, sentinent being, and one of the best gifts God has given us. The way I see it, refusing to enjoy sex or any related things is like refusing to enjoy a blue sky, or the sea, or a solar eclipse. Its part of life. Part of the eternal gift God has given us.

Within marriage yes. God has given us sex to enjoy within marriage and that is it. Sex outside the marriage is adultery and is wrong. God has said it himself. Am i right in saying that masturbation comes about because of the lust for someone of the opposite sex? Lust is a sin.

soulforged the secon · Post by **soulforged the secon** » Fri May 27, 2005 2:45 pm

biologic researches have shown that someone who mastrubates 3 times a week has 80 percent lesser chances to have cancer in the prostate
so guys warm up......

ps.by doing it more you have even lesser chances....

NeonVomit · Post by **NeonVomit** » Fri May 27, 2005 2:45 pm

So are you saying that you never masturbate?

As for sex before marriage etc. i've got my own views on that so best leave it.

Stratofanius · Post by **Stratofanius** » Fri May 27, 2005 3:00 pm

soulforged the second wrote:biologic researches have shown that someone who mastrubates 3 times a week has 80 percent lesser chances to have cancer in the prostate
so guys warm up......
ps.by doing it more you have even lesser chances....

So you haven't ever...?

I really don't understand this topic's idea...

NeonVomit · Post by **NeonVomit** » Fri May 27, 2005 3:43 pm

Me neither. It's like discussing the wind blowing

Beast_Pete · Post by **Beast_Pete** » Fri May 27, 2005 4:44 pm

(1949+15)

It is said, that a good marriage comes mostly from sexual life. And if you don't have any good sex with your pair, then it will become a "childless marriage" (it's an expression). So you'd better try out, what you get, before it's too late. And well, isn't love the most important thing in our life? Does marriage mean, that you can love someone only in marriage? I think, no, and if you live together with someone, that can be similar or the same with marriage.

luriah · Post by **luriah** » Fri May 27, 2005 5:16 pm

NeonVomit wrote:Its actually pretty funny that masturbation isnt even mentioned ANYWHERE in the Bible. And then Catholics say it's a sin

I like that one. Something that isnt even mentioned... a sin...

Nice one.

well, it is... in the story of Onan....somewhere in the Old Testament

NeonVomit · Post by **NeonVomit** » Fri May 27, 2005 5:27 pm

Beast_Pete wrote:(1949+15)

It is said, that a good marriage comes mostly from sexual life. And if you don't have any good sex with your pair, then it will become a "childless marriage" (it's an expression). So you'd better try out, what you get, before it's too late. And well, isn't love the most important thing in our life? Does marriage mean, that you can love someone only in marriage? I think, no, and if you live together with someone, that can be similar or the same with marriage.

I agree with that completely. Everyone keeps asking me when my girlfriend and I are going to get married (we've been together for almost 4 years now) and the answer is 'I dont fucking know IF we'll get married'. I'm perfectly happy the way I am for now. Who can tell the future though.

NeonVomit · Post by **NeonVomit** » Fri May 27, 2005 5:28 pm

luriah wrote:
well, it is... in the story of Onan....somewhere in the Old Testament

That's interesting, I'll have to look it up. I was told by a priest however that it wasn't mentioned anywhere, and he said that was probably because it's meant to stay private. I'll check on what you said though.

NordicStorm · Post by **NordicStorm** » Fri May 27, 2005 5:41 pm

doc_holliday wrote:God made us in his image. That means He has sex for pleaure. But no one is great enough for Him. thus, He masturbates.

If we accept the basic premise that God made us in his image, then we are also forced to accept that we are not identical copies of him, otherwise we would possess his powers. And given that we are imperfect, we do things God wouldn't do. Thus, it does not necessarily follow that God does everything we do.

But it leads to an interesting variation of the omnipotence paradox. If God (God1) created another God (God2) with equal powers, what would happen if God2 then proceeds to try to undo God1? Because if God1 is omnipotent, then so is the equally-empowered God2. Which means that if God1 tries to stop God2 from undoing God1 and fails, God1 cannot be omnipotent. But if God2 fails, then God2 is not omnipotent, which God2 must be if God1 is.

Beast_Pete wrote:It is said, that a good marriage comes mostly from sexual life.

I think the distinction between intimacy and sex needs to be raised (pun intended), though. There's more to intimacy than just sex.
It's a constant struggle keeping a relationship together, even moreso in the long haul. Not that mind-blowingly awesome sex isn't an incentive to keep it together, mind you.

Also, the story of Onan is in Genesis. The story isn't really about condemning masturbation though, as some Christians would have you believe.
It does not end well for Onan, so I wouldn't recommend it to people who are suckers for happy endings.

NeonVomit · Post by **NeonVomit** » Fri May 27, 2005 6:08 pm

The Bible isn't generally for suckers for happy endings

What happens to Onan? Does he go blind and grow hair on his hands?

NordicStorm · Post by **NordicStorm** » Fri May 27, 2005 6:12 pm

God kills him. Not for masturbating, mind you, but because Onan does not marry his brother's childless widow in accordance with the laws, but instead proceeds to have coitus interruptus with her, thus producing no children.

NeonVomit · Post by **NeonVomit** » Fri May 27, 2005 6:23 pm

i.e. having sex withough having a child as a result? Nice.

I tend to look on this the same way as i look on the book of Leviticus and it describing the right ways to deal with slaves, and how to keep them

The Bible may be God's word, but bear in mind a lot of it deals with the world about 3000 years ago. Times have changed, I'm pretty sure God understands that.

Stealth · Post by **Stealth** » Fri May 27, 2005 7:45 pm

soulforged the second wrote:biologic researches have shown that someone who mastrubates 3 times a week has 80 percent lesser chances to have cancer in the prostate
so guys warm up......
ps.by doing it more you have even lesser chances....

Well... I'm happy to inform you that I don't have prostate cancer

As for God killing Onan... talk about an all-loving God

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