Post
by A crazed Old Man » Sat Oct 17, 2009 12:55 am
Now, it seems to me that these... "A-Folk" need nothing less than a good boot up their ass. I served in 'Nam and let me tell you that such backtalk would have never been tolerated, and if you crashed the officer's computer, well, you'd be lucky if he didn't empty the latrines and shove all your shit right back up your rectum.
Now, I know there's all this bullshit about not having a draft over here in the U S of A, and maybe whatever country he's from doesn't have any good wars to fight, but that's no reason to let these poor children suffer from the ills of lackadaisical forum posting!
God Dammit I think Cantaloupe is burning in the oven...
Affirmative, the cantaloupe is burnt.
Well, there goes dinner, but back to my story. I'm glad I lost my left leg in Nam! God Dammit I fought a million wars just to stay out! I even joined an acting troupe, and traveled the country draft dodging for 7 months, but I was a terrible actor, in fact, there's a story I'd like to tell you about my time in the acting troupe.
Now this was no regular acting troupe, but a bona fide ACTING TROUPE. And hot dayum could those guys act, but as I said, I wasn't too good. Now, let me tell you there was a fellow in this troupe, name by the goes "Jimothy", now Jimothy hated being called "Jim", or "Jimmy", or anything but "Jimothy" really, although I once heard he didn't mind "Bartholomew", but he always was a queer fellow. But the one I really wondered about goed by the name "Samuel", now Samuel, I think we all really wondered about, some of us thought he was a real queer, now one night, I woke up and saw what I thought was Samuel groping another man (Not Jimothy, because Jimothy's had an upper bunk, so access was a touch difficult) but this fellow, and for the life of me I could never remember his name, had the unfortunate fate of a lower bunk, and when I say unfortunate I mean unfortunate,and with what he got, it would have been better if Samuel had been sticking his fat throbbing dick all the way up his ass, because it wasn't Samuel over the bed, but a group of draft enforcers. Needless to say pretty soon after I stirred, so did he, and he panicked, the draft enforcer feller tried to hold him down, but he'd have a none of that, so he started running, and when they figured he was too far to catch, they gunned him down, now I kept my mouth shut and they didn't recognize me, but a few months later I ran into a couple of them going to the toilet at a show, and I guess they were a looking for me because they bound and gagged me and shipped me off to boot camp.
Now, boot camp was a changing experience for me, because you see, I was a lazy FOOL who couldn't act worth shit, and I may not have learned to fight in boot camp, but I sure as hell learned to act. By the time it was time for me to ship out the war was, pretty much over, the commienazis kicked our sorry ass and I was sent over on a plane to get what was left of our troops out.
Now on this plane I was checking off names, and I saw a man by the name of "Jimothy", I took one look at the fellar and realized it wasn't the Jimothy I knew, so I just kept on checkin' names.
Two guys by the name of Jimothy in one lifetime, queer world we live in.
Now... when I got back to the states, and I started an acting career, now I did that for a few years, made some funds, and then got myself promoted to a bag boy at the local grocery store, fancy that!
Now, if you've been paying attention, then you clearly should realize that at this point, the only solution for the "A folk" is to have them defenestrated. For all you youngins that don't know what that word means, suck my testicles, both of them. Clearly this will inspire them with the work ethic to get a real job and become a contributing member of society like I did.